Ancient Writings and Keyholes

 

“What language am I looking at that of the elves or that of Faerie?” Writer Lady asks.

“That is the precise question which needs to be answered.” Lady Gray says.

“The writings of the elves is very similar to that of Faerie herself.” Captain Ozar observes.

“Which is the captain's way of saying we can't tell the difference.”

“Is there any way to figure it out?” Writer Lady asks, not sure how anyone could see a difference between one triangle shape and the other. She looks at Lady Gray, “You have very powerful magic shouldn't you be able to distinguish between elf and Faerie writing?”

“We all have magical powers, those powers have changed and adapted over time. Faerie’s magic is different. There's a purity to it most cannot see, those who can well, cannot always process what they’re looking at...some have been blinded by it. I have shown no signs for having the gift.” Lady Gray confesses. “I am looking at symbols I cannot read the same as you are.”

“Excalibur is older than you.” Captain Ozar suggests.

“Excalibur has not returned.” Lady Gray counters. “We have to rely on the resources we have available to us in this moment.” The gray kitten says as she searches the wall, her eyes stop at a dark corner to the right of the group. “There.” She says.

Writer Lady shifts her position moving from the left to the right side of the the kitten in an effort to get a closer look.

“Wait.” Captain Ozar says as he moves in closer.

The pair inspect the area at the same time finding nothing.

“What are we looking for?” He asks as they take another pass, slowing the movement of light over the dust covered walls.

“Stop.” Lady Gray instructs.

Writer Lady and Captain Ozar stop moving their torches, seeing nothing, Writer Lady continues moving hers.

Captain Ozar looks at Writer Lady with irritation. “Her ladyship has given an order.”

Writer Lady corrects herself raising her torch until it sits directly opposite Captain Ozar’s. “But there’s nothing here,” she whispers.

“If you'll move your torch in a little closer Writer Lady.”

As Writer Lady’s hand inches its way closer to Captain Ozar’s she sees what Lady Gray must be seeing, a curving line a quarter of an inch long peeking out from underneath the edge of the opposite wall.

“What is it, a sign?” Writer Lady asks as Captain Ozar puts his torch to the side and picks up Lady Gray so she can get a better look at what she’s found.

“If one of you would be so kind,” Lady Gray says wiggling uncomfortably.

Writer Lady absentmindedly gives the kitten a back scratch which relaxes into long strokes along Lady Gray’s back as she settles down.

“Please take one of the strands of fur on your hand and place it along the line we just found.”

Captain Ozar gently sets Lady Gray down so he can take custody of Writer Lady's torch. Writer Lady picks up a strand of fur and places it over the line using her index fingers to push it as far into the carving as possible. The strand of fur begins to glow as it becomes one with the stone wall. The wall begins to move.

“It's not a sign. It's a keyhole.” Lady Gray says.

Richard Badman continues wandering away from Castle Gris, Captain Ugh!, and his camp of wild ogres convinced that if he keeps looking he will be able to see past Lady Gray's glamour. He'll be able to find the long lost weapon the ogres told him about not long after he first arrived in Faerie. The ogres had found him weeks after he first stumbled into the meadow, one guarded by an attack unicorn who chased him into a bog. When the ogres found him, thin and sick from eating food that was toxic to non-magical beings, he'd all but given up on returning home. Once he’d recovered and learned what Faerie had to offer he no longer had any interest in going back. Although Richard was considered weaker in Faerie due to his lack of magical powers, he was also an oddity, he was a curiosity, someone to be looked after and protected. The wild ogres had taken him in, tended to him, and taught him how to live in this world. Here in Faerie his skills and knowledge were an advantage, they were useful. His knowledge of Earth, its creatures, and how they lived was sought after. He was valuable. In Faerie Richard felt important. Something he'd never felt on Earth. It was time to keep his promise to help the wild ogres establish their own country. Their own homeland. It was time to take his place as the leader of that new country. He just needed a sign he was looking in the right place.

Badman continues walking out of the clearing into a much darker part of the woods. He stumbles into an area that is no longer completely gray. A young sapling covered in vibrant green leaves stands in front of him. It has a narrow brown trunk and branches. The ground around the tree is in gray scale.

“It looks like I'm on the right track.” He says.

Badman proceeds to take a step forward and stops. Growing out of the medium and dark gray colored dirt is a tiny stem not much more than a quarter of an inch in length. It curves out of the ground and glows in a bright Kelly green. Badman kneels down for a better look and finds a symbol on the ground just behind the stem.

“X marks the spot,” he whispers. Rising carefully he turns in one direction, not seeing what he's looking for he turns in the other. “No phone tree, Damn.” Badman pulls something out of his pocket, he lays the intertwined narrow green vines across the back of his neck, a yellow and white honeysuckle blossom comes to rest on the left side of his neck another on the right side. A green vine attached to another blossom curls up from the base. The third blossom fits over his ear.

“Badman here. I need a digging crew in the woods west of the camp.” Badman listens and releases a sigh before saying, “Walk to where you saw me last, keep walking towards the big shiny thing in the sky until you see me. Bring tools. Tools that dig.” He releases another sigh as Captain Ugh! responds. “Removes from under!” He yells. Badman removes the honeysuckle blossom from his ear before muttering, “They’re powerful warriors but not great communicators. I miss grown-up conversations.”

A Bad Man In The Graylands

 

“Someone make him stop.” House groans.

“He only said it a couple of times.” Paige points out.

“A couple of times is one too many. He's scared. Of what, the Teletubby police?”

Furnatche yips at the ceiling.

“I’m only saying what everyone else is thinking.”

The group watches as Chester pulls at his restraints muttering about Excalibur and how nobody loves him.

“I hate to admit it but House may have a point.” Peter observes. “Lady Gray’s message said she suspected the attacker might be from Earth. What human could be so dangerous Excalibur would be needed to take him down? Who on Earth could possibly be more scary than the enchanted beings who live there?”

“Badman. Who? Is anyone with her? Does she have any weapons? It sounds like she won't be a problem. Call me if anything changes.” Richard Badman says before removing one hand from the tree's trunk and letting go of a leaf covered branch with the other. His combat booted feet step over the tree’s roots as he turns and surveys what is happening within the camp. His camp. His army of wild ogres. The first wave. The second wave of ninja-zombie soldiers further back in the forest await orders. Badman’s dressed for battle from his combat boots and camo pants all the way up to his sparkling white “There's no denyin’ I'm a bad man” t-shirt. “Never could have done this at home," he says surveying the scene in front of him. Badman watches as Captain Ugh! moves through the camp stepping on campfires and pushing over soldiers on the way. Wild ogres seem to have no manners, which is probably part of what makes them wild.

“Attack now!” Captain Ugh! says.

“Lady Gray has grown weaker but Captain Ozar’s still with her. We need to get him out of the way.”

“The sword!” The wild ogre counters.

“Even if Excalibur appears when she is alone, how can she wield it? We're sticking to my plan. Strike when Lady Gray is alone.”

Captain Ugh! grunts and leaves.

Richard Badman sighs as he watches Captain Ugh! throw a soldier into a wagon. The wild ogre bounces off the wagon’s side and falls into a nearby campfire. The ogre attacks his fellow soldiers as they pull him out of the flames. Badman turns and looks at the forest surrounding him. “Come on.” He lowers his voice, “Show yourself. That weapon's in here somewhere. I'm gonna find it.”

A soldier is thrown against the outside of a wagon, Tinkletoes watches as the wild ogre falls into the campfire and the fighting that ensues as a result.

“Are they always like this?” He asks.

“They are wild ogres. It's part of what defines them as wild.” The ogre Captain Ozar sent to assist Tinkletoes while he's working with Lady Gray's forces comments.

“Sergeant Memen reporting for duty Sir.”

“I only need a few questions answered.” Tinkletoes says. “How big is your army?” He asks without looking at the newcomer.

“There are 700 within the walls of Castle Gris, another 1200 are spread throughout the grounds. We have an additional 200,000 that can be called back if needed.”

Tinkletoes looks at Sergeant Memen. “Why so few on site?”

Lady Gray is one of the most powerful beings in Faerie. She’s never been in a situation where she could not take care of herself. Her ladyship has always been more concerned with the safety of those who live within The Graylands’ borders than her own.”

Tinkletoes looks at the enemy camp, “There are about 1500 wild ogres out there," he says. “If the 1200 you mentioned get called back in time it’ll be okay. If there's a second wave we’ll be screwed. And nobody with half a brain would try this without a second wave. Have any of the surrounding countries mobilized troops recently?”

“All is quiet.”

“Which means the second wave probably consists of mercenaries and other soldiers of fortune. You know of any?”

“No.”

“It's time to start looking. I'll need another report at 0800.”

“When?”

“8:00 a.m.”

Memen stares.

“In 3 hours?”

Nothing.

“Look at the sun.” Tinkletoes says pointing skyward. “I'll need an updated report when the sun is somewhere around there," he says pointing further up from the horizon.

“Of course.” The ogre says walking away.

“Good work.” Tinkletoes calls out. “Dismissed.”

“What do you think?” Dobby Cat asks approaching the self-proclaimed mercenary as Sergeant Memen disappears into the distance.

“We're okay for now. There's going to be a second wave. One Captain Ozar’s not ready for. Unless we think of something this war is going to be lost during the second half.” Tinkletoes looks at the ginger tabby. “I think I've got a plan.”

“He’s a capable fighter.” Writer Lady says attempting to step over something that scurries across her foot in the darkness. Startled, the heel of her boot gets caught in the hem of her gown, nearly tripping her over her own feet in the darkness. “The problem is this is a war against people who probably have plans. Good ones and Tinkletoes isn’t really much of a planner. Not that I've seen anyway.”

“I watched as you emptied your pack. He thought of everything, you were well supplied.” Captain Ozar says.

“For survival and weapons but there was no change of clothes. Which is my exact point. Tinkletoes does well with most things but there are gaps in his execution. Anything we can do to help win this will be to our advantage. What is this place?” She asks.

“These passageways were built not long after the time of the elves had ended.” Captain Ozar says.

Writer Lady listens as they walk past dusty stone walls and continue their exploration passing through cobweb covered archways.

 “A small group of budding scholars studied these passageways for years, their theory was they would lead to an entry to the elves’ abandoned shrine.”

“That’s not entirely correct.” Lady Gray says picking up where Captain Ozar left off. “These passageways appeared not long after the time of the elves had ended. No one knows who or what built them. Some, that group of budding scholars included, theorized Faerie herself created them. Early records say the elves left the shrine and instructions for protecting The Graylands behind for us to find. Scholars came to the conclusion the elves' time ended before a passageway to it could be completed.

“Faerie finished it herself?” Writer Lady asks.

“Faerie finished it herself," Lady Gray repeats.

“If Faerie finished the elves' project, why hasn't the shrine been located?” Writer Lady asks wiping away dust with her cloak before holding her torch up to study intricate carvings on the wall in front of them.

“Because her work was interrupted.”

Just Call Me Lou

 

“Cupid always says love is what we live for, love is what keeps everything going. I know it's what keeps me going, even after death. Yeah it's true, I died a long time ago. But you could tell just by looking at me couldn’t you? It's the suit. This suit's a dead giveaway.

I can change clothes. It's not like I'm stuck with the thing, I've looked around. They don't make clothes like this anymore. So here I am still wearing it.” I said admiring the cut of my coat sleeve. “Not too tight in the shoulder but a perfect fit along the sleeve. Not too tight and not too loose. This suit’s a classic just like me.” Finding a bucket nearby I turn it over and take a seat. “Dead? Yeah I'm dead.” I look around. “Yeah. This is home when I'm not on a job. You want to know something that no one ever tells you? It's one of the truest things I know. You never remember where you were on the day you were born but you never forget what's going on around you when you die. Unless you have a strong tie to some other place...a family home, a city you love, a person you can't imagine being without…see, what's left of you will get tethered to something...and unless you already have a place in mind what you're tethered to is going to be where you died. That special bond can also tether you to where you were murdered, it's where you took your exit. Like it or not, I made my exit here. Not here, here. But in this alley. Behind us, over in the corner, the one with the lamp post and the broken light? My killer shot the bulb out on that lamp in 1938. You know what? It never comes back on, no matter how many times they change the bulb. Yeah, I was a mobster. A real bad guy. Young, quick, smart, and most importantly an orphan. Unattached. No wife, no kids, no siblings, or parents to look for me. No one to care. It made me the first person hired for the most dangerous jobs because if something went wrong and I died no one would miss me.

At least no one they knew about.

The only thing was I did have someone. They just didn't know about her. Marion, a showgirl with beautiful eyes, legs that went on forever, and a sharp tongue. She was a girl who could take care of herself and I loved her for it. I watched her for quite a while after I bought it,” I look at the newcomer, “then one day in 1965 she disappeared. I couldn't find her anywhere, which is the day Cupid made me an offer I couldn't refuse. He gave me a promotion to Fairy Godfather and now I help people. It's nice to meet you." I said offering my hand. "Do me a favor? Don't call me Fairy Godfather or even Godfather just call me Lou. Like I was saying I help people fall in love. A guy like me. I know, right? I really wondered what Cupid was thinkin’ at first. I've always had a knack for sizing people up. It doesn't usually take me long. It turns out my talent works on non-mortals too. So here's what I've learned. As you probably know Cupid is a big deal. He has been for a long time. Bringing couples together and helping them fall in love kind of does that for a guy. What I figured out is at this point he only wants to work the easy cases. The ones that give him lots of good press. If I’d been doing this as long as he's been, I might go about it the same way. The more challenging cases, women stuck in towers, women closely guarded by fathers or uncles or dragons etc... he gives them to the Fairy Godmothers. Then there are the tough cases. Okay, the really tough ones. The cynics. The people who are so fed up and frustrated by not finding love they stubbornly refuse to look anymore. The truly heartbroken people. The deeply lonely ones. Those are the cases I get. Cupid told me when he offered me this job that if I took it he'd help me find Marion. He'd help me find my girl. I think I might have already told you that. To be honest, for something I always thought this was for wimps, this is really satisfying work. There are some really stubborn, lonely people out there. We're about to meet two of ‘em.”

Chester The Court Jester

 

“If the records were kept by elves, how were you able to read them?” Writer Lady asks.

“The scrolls my scholars discovered were written in our language. A rudimentary dialect but our language nonetheless.” Lady Gray explains.

“We have no proof this place of magical learning ever existed here much less if any remains can be entered. There's no information regarding the language that was used there. Keeping that in mind, it's not necessarily correct to assume no one can read what may or may not be found within its walls.”

One corner of Captain Ozar's mouth turns up in a grin.

“We may or we may not be able to read it.” Lady Gray admits.

Writer Lady continues to recap everything she's been told as she considers the next step, “The Graylands are under attack, weakening you as a result, and Excalibur is missing. We may have the means to defeat the attacker but if what is needed does exist it probably requires an interpreter. The one thing we know for certain is that the only thing between the bad guys and us in addition to your current defenses is a self-proclaimed mercenary who works for baked goods and his trusty pile of hand grenades.”

“How far out are we?” Tinkletoes asks.

Daemon holds up his arms and spreads them apart halfway.

“We're about two miles away, that's what I thought.” Tinkletoes agrees. “The enemy is to the west. Castle Gris is to the west of them. They’re lookin’ the other way. The enemy’ll never see us comin’.” He looks at the woods surrounding them. They are a deep green. Branches of various color and size lay on the ground. The self-proclaimed mercenary spots something purple next to his bag. It's a tiny flower. He watches as a light dusting of magic sprinkles the ground beneath the bloom making it momentarily radiate a brighter shade of purple. Tinkletoes looks at Dobby. “You sure about the door we came in through? It doesn't look much like the Graylands here.”

Dobby Cat turns from his position watching campfires burn in the distance and approaches Tinkletoes. “We’re in the right place, let me show you something.” The self-proclaimed mercenary follows the ginger tabby northwest into an area of the woods partially devoid of color. The trees and ground are in the grayscale Tinkletoes finds more familiar. Strips of gray hang down in some places revealing the vibrant woods he was squatting in moments earlier reminding him of partially unrolled wallpaper in the process of being hung.

“Lady Gray’s powers are weakening revealing the Graylands’ true enchantment and beauty.” Dobby Cat says.

“She dyin’ or something?” Tinkletoes asks.

“No. According to her soldiers, she’s not. When Excalibur is here it uses its own magic to help power her glamour. The sword is not here. It hasn’t been for a while now. Lady Gray has been trying to hold up the glamour by herself for too long. She's exhausting her power.”

“She's growing weaker?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Yep.”

“It's about time we gave her some help then isn't it?” The self-proclaimed mercenary says with a grin.

“Help! Help!” The creature calls out as he runs along the passageway.

“There's No Escape Pilgrim.” TP calls as the faerie closes in.

“We've got you now.” Aunt Purdy calls. She’s standing at the other end of the corridor. Peter and Paige flanking her on either side.

The pointy-eared creature stops before reaching the end of the line. Raising one hand, it sends a burst of magic to the wall directly to its left. A multi-colored, sparkling rectangle appears on the wall creating a door, it bursts through the opening to find Dylan and Furnatche standing on the other side.

“Gotcha.” Dylan says.

Furnatche yips in agreement.

The creature puts its hands up in surrender as it walks towards the boy and the baby dragon. It steps past the pair and stops behind them.

“TP's coming. Wait here.” Dylan instructs.

The creature nods. The moment Dylan and Furnatche turn their backs it raises a hand and wiggles a finger at a spot on the wall a short distance away, as a door appears the creature begins running. Bars appear over the door blocking the creature’s exit.

“Not so fast.” Peter calls.

TP appears fluttering in the air next to the creature.

“It's a He.” The faerie announces. “He's not going anywhere.” Sparkling rope encircles the creature's hands and feet. “Not now.”

“It's about time,” House says. “All that rearranging was making my floors crawl.”

Dylan thinks for a minute, “When you changed your interiors did that make your floors crawl too?” He asks.

“No Sweetie. It's different when a building controls her own changes.”

The boy shrugs and turns his attention back to the action.

“What is it?” Paige asks, looking at TP.

“He's a hobgoblin. His name is Chester.” TP pulls a Jester hat out of the air and puts it on the prisoner's head. “He's the jester from Lady Gray's court.”

“I thought only queens had courts.” Paige says.

“In Faerie we do things however we like otherwise it's bor-ing.”

“Let me go.” Chester says.

“No,” TP giggles. “This is too much fun.”

“Tell us who you are and why you're here.” The nine-year-old girl instructs.

“But we know.” TP comments.

“I want to know more.” Paige says.

“We don't need to know more,” the faerie counters.

Paige gives TP her determined look.

Never, nevermind.” TP says looking at the floor.

"My name is Chester and I'm Lady Gray's court jester. I'm a hobgoblin,” the short creature says.

“Why are you a jester?”

“What?” Chester asks.

“Aren't hobgoblins mean, mischievous creatures that wreak havoc wherever they go?” Paige asks.

“Not all of us.”

“Your kind does. Diomedes has been telling us about all the different creatures he's seen in Faerie. You match his description of the bad ones.” She says.

Chester's reddish brown color fades a bit as he looks at the floor. “I wasn't good at doing hobgoblin-y things. My fam...I was banished. I wandered Faerie for quite some time when Captain Ozar stopped me on the road to Castle Gris. After we had spoken for a bit I was taken to Lady Gray. She took me in, giving me food, shelter, and a safe place to live. I did the only thing I knew how to do to thank her. I told her stories. Her ladyship found them entertaining. With a bit of practice I discovered I could make her laugh. One day, she offered me a permanent place in the castle as her court jester. Now she needs help. Help! Help!” Chester calls.

“We know silly.” TP giggles. “Writer Lady and the others are already in Faerie.”

The hobgoblin stops yelling and thinks about what TP has said. “Are they brave?” He asks.

Peter looks at the others before answering. “Yeah.”

“Are they strong?” Chester asks.

“Most of them.”

“Are they smart?”

“Some of them?”

“It’s going to be okay.” Aunt Purdy says. “You can go home now.”

The hobgoblin shakes his head. “More magic. Lady Gray needs more magic. We have to find Excalibur NOW!” Chester cries.

Entering Castle Gris Wearing Fuzzy Bear Slippers

“Welcome Ma'am,” a voice says.

Writer Lady turns to find Lady Gray’s guard standing behind her. Several ogres in full armor stand at attention behind him. Writer Lady looks down at her jammies, robe, and fuzzy bear paw slippers suddenly embarrassed she hadn't changed before leaving home.

“It seems you left home without having been properly outfitted.” The guard observes.

“Unfortunately yes. I left home right after I read her ladyship's message.” Realizing there was something heavy in one hand, Writer Lady looks down at the pack Tinkletoes handed her before they left. Squatting down, she opens the bag looking for what’s so desperately needed, something to wear that isn't pajamas. Writer Lady finds smoke bombs, grenades, a large knife, a small hatchet, sunscreen (In The Graylands? Seriously?), a lightweight semi-automatic, lots of bullets, rations, and a small first aid kit. Not one single item of clothing. “He's a man, of course he wouldn't think to pack clothes.” Writer Lady looks at the guard. “Sorry about this, no one seemed to notice that I'm not wearing day clothes, including me.” Which is when she realizes she's missing a few people. Okay, everyone she left home with. “Where are the others?” She asks.

“The warrior known as Tinkletoes as well as your other escorts are in the field. Where they're most needed.”

“Then why am I here?” She asks.

“This is where you are needed.” A familiar voice says. Writer Lady turns in the direction of the voice. “Your Highness,” she says, she watches as the young cat, little more than a kitten, crosses the room. The gray cat moves slowly, not as a hunter would, as a much older cat would. One who's every step causes her some level of pain.

Lady Gray slowly and carefully ventures a little too close to the stone wall nearly crashing into it. The cat stops and sits for a bit. Her guard, Captain Ozar, lifts her back to her feet and sets her down in front of Writer Lady. The ruler of The Graylands looks up at him with admiration and love.

“Thank you.” Lady Gray says.

“Of course Mi’lady.”

The long-haired cat turns her attention to Writer Lady. “Welcome. Thank you so much for coming to the aid of myself and all who reside within The Graylands. As you can see I'm not myself these days. I'm not myself and neither is my magic. It's one of the reasons I reached out for help.”

“The other reason you contacted us?”

“My enemy is not of this world. I suspect he may be of yours.”

“Why?”

“During the first attack one of the invaders dropped this.”

Lady Gray’s guard held out a laminated card to Writer Lady. Accepting the card, she reads it. She looks at Lady Gray and her guard. “This is a driver's license for a Richard R. Badman? You're right, your enemy is from my world. And it appears his last known address is only a few blocks from my house. What's he doing here?” She asks. The guard makes a face. Writer Lady looks at him. “I know. It's pretty obvious what he's doing here. But why? What does this Richard think he's going to do with The Graylands if he could manage to defeat her ladyship, which he can't, rule?”

“Isn't that what happens in your world? How many rulers has your homeland had before Tinkletoes?” Lady Gray asks.

“None. And Tinkletoes does not rule my world.”

Lady Gray and her guard exchange glances.

“Things are done a bit differently where I come from.” Writer Lady explains. “It's more of a group effort.”

“Faerie has rulers. I have ruled these lands for thousands of years. Although, many do not remember what The Graylands were like before I arrived.”

“What were they like?”

“The day I arrived was quite interesting, everything was running wild.”

“Plants, animals, magical beings.” The captain adds. “A lot of fighting. We hadn’t said a word, we stood there watching, taking it all in.”

Lady Gray continues, “You see The Graylands are located in the center of Faerie. All of the ecosystems of this world share its borders.”

“So The Graylands have a little bit of everything.” Writer Lady says. “The forests, meadows, the lands with flying bubbles. The jungles. All of the creatures of Faerie live in The Graylands as well?” She asks.

Lady Gray nods. “All of the animals. Faeries, pixies, dragons, demons, unicorns... If the being is native to Faerie at least one of them lives here. When I arrived, everyone was fighting over control of The Graylands. The Lady of the Lake contacted me, notifying me of the problems here and asking me to see what I could do to bring some semblance of order to the place. After we arrived, my soldiers and I found the castle, took control of it, put an end to the fighting, and started rebuilding. Excalibur arrived a short time later and has been integral to keeping order.”

“The sword represents power.” Writer Lady says.

“Yes it demonstrates that Lady Gray has the ability to take down any invaders.” Captain Ozar replies. 

 "An ability I do not have at the moment." The cat looks at Writer Lady. "I keep The Graylands protected with my glamour. I have turned everything gray making it feel sad and dismal. Food looks unappetizing and water appears unsafe to drink. It has kept invaders away. This army knows that if it keeps attacking until I weaken enough that it will be possible to slowly begin peeling away the layers of the glamour revealing the beauty and magic that resides here. Once that beauty is revealed..."

 "....we will be surrounded on every side." Captain Ozar says.

 "Without Excalibur to fortify my defenses," Lady Gray continues, "all could be lost." 

"How long has Excalibur been gone?"

"Several months. It has been known to disappear at times, it's a sword, it needs an adventure every now and then. When Excalibur is no longer needed, the sword returns."

Writer Lady nods, “Who ruled here before you arrived?” She asks.

“All of the other civilizations of Faerie have held The Graylands at some time. It is very valuable. Because The Graylands are where Faerie began. Sit down.” Lady Gray says gesturing to a comfortable looking chair on the far side of the room. The cat follows Writer Lady, jumping on to her lap and settling down. “I just need to rest for a moment. Would you mind rubbing a bit while I talk?”

 Writer Lady complies.

“Much better. Thank you. Let’s continue. No one knows why or how Faerie began.” Lady Gray says, “The elves were the first to appear. Unicorns arrived a short time later. They discovered one another while wandering in what would someday become The Graylands. They got to know each other a bit, then shortly thereafter began working together, finding and harvesting food, building shelter, and eventually discovering the magic of Faerie and how to wield it. Elves and unicorns thrived and flourished, building villages, towns, and eventually, a kingdom. As other beings arrived, the elves learned about them recording the history of every being. They shared what they had learned about these lands with their new friends, helping them establish villages and farms throughout. They established the first records of what lay beyond these lands and drew the first maps of Faerie. Ultimately, the elves and unicorns sat down with the others to write the first laws, protecting our way of life.”

“So The Graylands are the heart of your civilization.” Writer Lady observes.

“They are.”

“Why don't we just ask the elves for help?”

“My dear Writer Lady the elves are long gone.”

“What about the history they left, the records they kept?”

“I have spent many years studying all that has been interpreted with my best scholars, it's quite interesting. There is lots of information about how to run things and fascinating history but nothing regarding how to defend the lands.”

“That is not entirely true your highness.” Captain Ozar says correcting her.

The deep gray feline jumps down from Writer Lady's lap and crosses the room turning her back on Writer Lady and her security detail. “After all this time you still believe.”

Writer Lady looks at the captain, “There's a story about the elves. At one time they had a central building where magic was studied. They established that Faerie is not only a place but a living entity. They taught themselves how to communicate with Faerie herself, how to speak to her and learn from her. The elves knew some day their time would come to an end but before that time came Faerie gave them the information they needed to create a means for keeping The Graylands well fortified regardless of what or who was attacking her. The problem is we can't seem to locate it.”

“And...” Lady Gray says prompting her guard to continue.

“Even if we did find it we can't read their writing.”

Writer Lady Takes Command

 

The room grows dim as the light fixtures glow with a deep gray light.

“Attack on Castle Gris to commence in 10 minutes 59 seconds,” echoes throughout the room as a countdown begins.

“There's no time left to find the little monster.” Tinkletoes says.

“We should probably get going.” Dobby Cat agrees.

“Orders M’lady?” Diomedes asks again.

“Spots! Smudge!” Writer Lady calls. The litter mates appear at her side in a matter of seconds in their usual Stephen King-ish horror story way.

“Yes?” Smudge asks.

“Mommy/Food Lady.” Spots says.

“Come on.” Writer Lady orders. Turning her attention to Diomedes as she returns to the back wall she begins, “What I need the three of you to do is to guard this wall. If anything from Faerie tries to enter the house send them back. Nothing is to enter unless I'm with them.” All three nod. “What's your job?” She asks.

“To not let anything in.” Smudge says.

“No matter what.” Spots replies.

Diomedes nods.

The phrase, When there is war there is sure to be those seeking shelter from it, pops into her head. Crap. “If anyone approaches who says I sent them only trust them if you see…”

“...her magic on them.” T.P. says as he apparates next to her.

Writer Lady looks at the faerie and says, “You’re forgetting, no one can see my magic.”

“T.P. fix.” The faerie says. Reaching out he places a hand on Writer Lady’s upper arm. Her faerie tattoo becomes visible, the “WL” in stylized script glows with faerie dust.

“There.” He says.

Writer Lady looks at his work. “What does amping up the energy on a magical tattoo do to help this situation?” She asks.

“As long as your tattoo can be seen all who look upon it will see the power of a queen.”

“How about if she just looks like a badass warrior that I don't have to come save all the time?” Tinkletoes asks as he tosses a large gear bag onto the floor next to Writer Lady's feet.

“What about the rest of us?” Aunt Purdy asks.

Writer Lady turns her attention to Aunt Purdy. “Would you and T.P. please lead a search for Lady Gray’s messenger? When you find him or her tell them we know what's happening in The Graylands and that we're on our way?”

Writer Lady looks at T.P. “I need you to return to Faerie with the messenger once you find them.”

“Carp, Daemon, Dobby Cat, Tinkletoes and I are headed for Castle Gris.” Writer Lady looks at Aunt Purdy and Ray. “Keep yourselves and the kids safe. I may have to send Lady Gray here before this is over. She’s never been to our world. She’ll need help acclimating to it.” Writer Lady looks at T.P., “If the enemy doesn’t capture Lady Gray The Graylands can’t be conquered right?”

T.P. nods. “No leader in your hands means no taking over their lands. It’s the rule.”

The self-proclaimed mercenary looks up at Writer Lady. “How did you know that?” He asks. 

“Because that's the way Writer Lady would have written the rules if she was in charge.” Carp says.

 Writer Lady's eyes search the room, “Is everyone clear on what they need to do?” There are nods all around. Writer Lady accepts the pack Tinkletoes is holding out to her as she reaches out for the glowing knob on the bright gray door that has appeared before her.

“Aren't you forgetting something?” Carp asks.

Writer Lady looks at the line of soldiers behind her. Tinkletoes, Dobby Cat, Daemon...she looks at Carp who’s bringing up the rear, “No.”

“We are facing ninja-zombies and we’re missing a key player.” He sings. Carp holds up a picture of Monitor Man. It's a photo from his most recent movie. The actor is smoldering in front of a camera as a city is going up in flames behind him. The picture is framed. Carp is holding it next to his cheek like a prized possession.

Writer Lady looks from Carp to Tinkletoes.

“Let's go.” The self-proclaimed mercenary says.

“Smoldering expressions aren't going to save The Graylands.” Writer Lady points out.

“They won't.” Carp agrees. “Monitor Man fought beside you when you were alone.”

“A fight I wouldn't have been in if he hadn't been so full of himself to begin with.”

“He did rise to the occasion when it really counted.” Carp replies.

“6 minutes 15 seconds.”

“There's no time.” Writer Lady says as she grasps the knob and turns. It's the last thing she remembers before her world turns to gray.