Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

“Do you know what I need Dobby? I need some candy.” Writer Lady says. It is early evening, dinner is over and the kitchen has been put back in order. Writer Lady has retired to the living room with a large mug of coffee. She sits on the floor in front of the Christmas tree at eye level with Dobby who lays on the couch dozing. The ginger tabby gazes at her adoringly and listens closely. “You know candy. Supper is over. I have a hot cup of coffee. Candy goes with coffee.” “I don't know Mom, you've had a lot of sugar today.” “What makes you say that kitty?” “I don't know, maybe the way you hogged all of Dylan's toys this morning.” Dobby says. “Those toys are way cooler than anything I ever had as a kid. Besides I had to make sure they were safe. We don't want the lil' guy to get hurt, do we?” “You also finger painted until there wasn't any paper left in the house.” “I'm exploring my creative side.”

In a small town in the Midwest, on a darkened street, in the wee hours of Christmas Eve morning a single light glows from a single bedroom. A reading lamp is on with a writer sitting under it. Writer Lady is propped up in bed still wearing her warm jammies, blankets are covering her and keeping her toasty. A clipboard with a writing pad attached is resting across her lap. Pen in hand she looks up thoughtfully and then begins writing in her own flowing script. Dear Santa She crosses it out. My Dearest Santa Claus She crosses the new salutation out. She writes, Santa Baby... then mutters No, no I can't call him that. Too informal, besides he's married. You don't call a married man baby. Not having much luck with her letter she looks at the clock again. 6 am--finally! Writer Lady's face brightens, she looks over at Dobby who is curled up and sleeping soundly on the empty side of the bed.  Technically, it's

“Hey!”  Tinkletoes yells from the street, “Are you gonna turn on the music or what?” Dobby stops whittling and looks up taking in his surroundings.  Everyone is looking at him expectantly.  “Looks like someone's got a hankerin' to see some blood,” he says.  Slowly Dobby puts his knife and branch away because he's a cat.  They take their own sweet time.   He pulls Writer Lady's cell phone out of the other pocket.  Setting the volume as high as he can Dobby looks up at Shredded TP.  The faerie gives him a nod.  The ginger tabby taps the phone's screen several times and... I just met you and this is cra-zy but here's my number so call me maybe, pours through the deserted town and along the street. Everyone looks at Dobby.  Dobby taps the screen quickly hoping there is a five second rule for embarrassing music faux pas among other guys. Hold me now.   It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. “Oooops.”  Dobby says tapping at the scree

“Gentlemen.” TP says from the podium. The faerie looks at an area above and behind Tinkletoes as if the room is brimming over with military personnel. “You are excellent soldiers. Thoroughly trained and full dedicated to defending your country. Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there is an area of your training that has been overlooked. Your ability to interact positively with the fairer sex.” Carp rises from his chair and steps to the podium, placing a hand over the the microphone he says, “TP you can't say that.” “I am General Tampon Sir, please address me as such.” General Tampon A.K.A. TP says. “I'm sorry. General Tampon but you can't say that.” “It's General Tampon...Sir!” The faerie corrects smiling. Carp tries again. “General Tampon Sir, you cannot put it that way.” “You need to pause between the Tampon and Sir. If you picture ellipses in your mind it helps.” General Tampon instructs with a smile. Carp rubs

The chorus of angels can be heard echoing throughout the house. Laaaaaa....a.....a..laaaaaaaaaaaaa... Carp looks at Writer Lady. “What did I tell you? Angels Singing.” The angels sing out. He's Beautiful.......................... Tinkletoes looks out the kitchen window at his fence which sits undisturbed. “What's going on? How did he?” Tinkletoes demands. Writer Lady walks over to Mural Man.  “Mural Man is that you?”   She whispers. “Yeah. It's still me.”  Mural Man says. Writer Lady keeps staring.  Circling around Mural Man.  Carp waits for her at the end of her orbit. “Amazing isn't it?”  Carp asks. “Uncanny.”  Writer Lady says as she absentmindedly fusses with her hair.  “Are you hungry Mural Man?  Can I get you anything?” “No. I'm still essentially a really big piece of paper so I can't eat or drink anything.” Reminded that this is in fact Mural Man,  “Oh. Of course,” Writer Lady says ta

“How did that happen?” Writer Lady mutters. “Huh?” Dylan asks. “Nothing sweetie. I'm just talking to myself. Grown-ups do that sometimes.” “Who is it?” Dylan asks pressing on. “I'm not sure.” Writer Lady answers. “Let's go find out. Just a sec.” Writer Lady turns back to the stove and turns it off. The man in the chair sees them the moment they enter the room. “Hi.” Writer Lady says smiling. “Hello.” He says returning his attention back to tug of war. “Hi.” Dylan says. “Who are you?” “I am Mural Man.” “I'm Dylan.” “Hi Dylan. Is this your dragon?” Mural Man asks as he continues to play with Furnatche. The small silver white dragon snarls as he pulls on the rope with his teeth. Dylan nods. “What do you call him?” “Furnatche.” Dylan answers. “I don't think that I've ever heard that name before, but then I've never seen a dragon like this lil' guy either. Would you

“What?” Writer Lady asks. TP pops back in. “Monitor Man is single and on the prowl. Grrrr...” The faerie snaps his fingers making a reel to reel recorder appear. With another snap, the faerie turns it on. “ So Monitor Man what kind of woman has caught your eye?  She must be something to draw your attention from Incredibly Hot Woman. Which rising starlet is it?  Give us a hint.”  The interviewer says. “ I won't give you any names.  I want to respect her privacy.   Besides, I don't even know if she would like a guy like me.” Monitor Man grins. “I will tell you this she's bright, funny and independent.  Oh and kind of spunky.” “You hear that and you immediately assume it's me.” Writer Lady says looking at Tinkletoes. Tinkletoes looks at the ground. “I am so tired of having to say these things. Have you seen the women he goes out with? He's not looking at someone like me. Besides there are basics to this crap. With a man like him find

“Secure the perimeter?” Mural Man asks. “That sounds like a lot of work. Later man.” Ray says hanging up. “Did he hang up?” Mural Man asks. “Of course, I mentioned work.” Tinkletoes says. “He wasn't going to help. Besides this is my woman. My perimeter to secure.” “He has to piss on every tree and poop in every corner.” TP pops in giggling and pops back out. “That's a vivid picture.” Mural Man says. “You aren't really going to piss on every tree and poop in every corner are you?” Mural Man asks looking around the room and counting corners. “No, that's just an expression and it only pertains to outside.” Tinkletoes says as he walks around the room looking out the windows and at the doors making plans. “ All that popping in and out is getting annoying. I'm going to have to talk with TP about that.” “Talk with TP about what?” Writer Lady asks standing the the entryway. “All that popping in and out of the room.” “He does tha