Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Dobby asks. “Checking my coffee.” Writer Lady looks up at the cat standing on the table with the computer. “For stray grounds.” “You're drinking that coffee? I thought it was full of grounds.” “I poured it through another filter, very carefully.” Dobby sniffs at the cup. “It doesn't smell very good.” “I think all of the grounds got caught in the filter when I poured it. Besides,” Writer Lady takes a sip, “I've had worse. It's not like it's molded or anything.” “I think in 2014 we should work on raising your standards a little bit Mom.” “Why? It's not like I've gotten sick or anything.” “Mom people die from food poisoning. Don't forget. I'm really important. I don't like anyone else enough to let them feed me.” Dobby says. “You're right kitty. I shouldn't be so selfish. Pie?” Writer Lady asks. Dobby sniffs at the plate. “What kin

“OW!” Mom yells. “You can relax Mom the feline mind meld is over.” Dobby says. “Why didn't you tell me how much it was going to hurt?” “If you had relaxed like I told you it wouldn't have hurt?” Dobby responds. “So if your body is relaxed, you don't hurt nearly as much when a Brahma bull comes charging through your cerebral cortex?” “I don't recall it happening that way.” Dobby says. “And John Wilkes Booth thought Lincoln had challenged him to a dual. I'm lucky I can talk.” Mom lifts her hands to touch her ears. “My ears feel funny. Tingly.” She feels something odd. “What the hell did you do to my ears?” “A feline mind meld can only take place if you ears are pointy too Mom. (See The Quest For Dobby's Destiny Part 1) They should go back to the right shape soon.” “I have pointy ears? Oh no! Are they bigger too?” “No bigger than mine.” Dobby answers. “Oh no! Not that

The queen nods to her Master of Ceremonies as she leaves the stage. He plays a favorite song the crowd loves dancing to. It's a good way to keep the attention away from the fact that the queen is missing and Writer Lady is on the main stage, dancing...badly. Writer Lady tries to pretend no one is looking until Warrior With Intense Blue Eyes runs up to the stage holding his phone up. “Smile.” He teases. Writer Lady grimaces and gives him the bird. “Nice. This is going all over the Internet.” Warrior With Intense Blue Eyes walks away laughing. “Relax. You're doing fine. No one is looking at you.” Writer Lady turns around to see find the Master of Ceremonies dancing next to her. “Thanks.” Writer Lady continues dancing, attempts to pull out some fancy moves, nearly falls off the stage, goes back to the simple stuff. The song ends and the Queen returns, “The Gem of the Con can see you now.” “That was fast.” “I told her what she wanted to hear, Ti

“Okay we're in. Go talk to the Queen. Let's finish this already.” Warrior With Intense Blue Eyes yells to Writer Lady over the music. “It's not that simple. She is a Queen after all.” Writer Lady says gesturing to the stage. “It's not that hard either. This is not exactly a formal setting.” Warrior counters. “See!” he says gesturing to the stage where a large man dressed like Hagrid approached the Queen, danced with her long enough to have a brief conversation and left the stage. She did not call for guards, he was not shot with a laser gun, did not dissolve into the atmosphere while onlookers laughed viciously. “That was probably a guard or something checking in.” Writer Lady said just as Hagrid walks by looking very intimidating to Writer Lady. Warrior with Intense Blue Eyes reaches out to the man. “Hey man. How's it going?” “Good.” Hagrid answers with hesitation.

“What time is it?” Writer Lady asks the Warrior with Intense Blue Eyes. “Thirty seconds later than when you asked the last time.” “This is supposed to be the short line. What's taking so long?” Writer Lady asks. “This isn't the short line. This is the line of people waiting for an audience with the Queen.” The Lady with the Long Golden Hair answers. “Don't worry, my sister, we will see you inside soon enough.” “Do you remember back in the hotel room when I mentioned how tiny this dress was?” Writer Lady asks the Lady with the Long Golden Hair. The Lady nods. “Well now not only am I in a tiny dress but now I'm standing out on the sidewalk after dark.” “Remember to act like a lady and you will always been seen as one.” “How can I act like a lady when I feel so...naked?” “All will be well, my sister, patience.” “Why is it everyone keeps saying that? You try standing on a dark corner in a tiny dress and see how patient you feel. If anyon

                            Or  Aren't We Done Yet?   “Come on! Let's go!” Warrior With Intense Blue Eyes yells. “If this were a battle you two would be dead already.” “Patience my son.” The Lady With The Long Golden Hair calls from the bathroom, “She's almost ready.” “I don't understand why this has to take so long, she lost half her body weight in leg hair.” The Lady With The Long Golden Hair comes out of the bathroom and meets her son in the center of the hotel room. “She doesn't like having to do this. Please be nice.” She reminds him. “Can't we just hurry this up already?” Warrior With Intense Blue Eyes asks. “It will be over soon my son.” “No laughing.” Writer Lady calls from the bathroom. “If there's laughing I'll have Merlin put you in this thing. I'm sure we'll still get lots of attention.” “Did she get all the hair off of her legs?” War