Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

“This storm is nothing. Says the man who just shot a lawn mower to bits.” Carp says. “It wasn't a very dependable model.” Tinkletoes says. “I did that woman a favor.” A thunderous crash sounds directly overhead. “Holy Crap.” Tinkletoes says. “Someone disagrees.” TP says giggling. “Writer Lady's right.” Carp says. “It's safer in the house.” “We're fine here. It's just a little storm.” There is a louder crash and the flash outside brightens everything within the shed. “Whoa.” Tinkletoes exclaims. The unmistakable sound of hail beating on the roof of the shed begins. It's coming down hard and fast. “I'm going to the house.” Carp says. “Too late now. It's hailing.” Tinkletoes says. Carp opens the shed door. “It's only pea size right now.” Carp looks at the sky still dark and heavy. “In another ten minutes, those clouds are going let loose and this time

Tinkletoes takes a step back and holds up his hands. “I'm putting alarms all over this thing. So don't even think about taking this back after I go to bed.” Writer Lady says as she takes the ammo bag into the house. “She always makes me leave before she goes to bed. What does she think, I'm going to pick the lock or something?” Tinkletoes mutters to himself. Turning to Carp he says, “I told you that woman has a mean streak.” “You shot up her shed and her lawn mower. What did you think she was going to do console you with sweet words and fresh cookies?” Carp answers. “Sweet words. From her?” Tinkletoes says. “Some warm cookies would have been nice though.” A window opens, “A working lawn mower would be nice too. But I don't have that. Do I?” Writer Lady yells and slams the window back down. “Fix the shed. I personally would replace both the shed and the lawn mower. Then she'll give you your stuff back.” Carp says. “It

“Has your grandma always been like that?” Carp asks. “My whole life.” Tinkletoes says. “Sorry Man. But that explains a lot. No wonder you have such messed up ideas about women.” “That's Grandma. She's not a woman.” Tinkletoes says shaking his head he walks across the yard to inspect the damaged shed more closely. Carp follows Tinkletoes into the shed. “What do you think we should do to fix this?” Tinkletoes asks sticking his finger through one of the shed's numerous holes. “Of course she's a woman. If she's not a man, she has to be a woman.” Carp responds. Tinkletoes rolls his eyes and holds up one hand, counting off non-male categories. “Moms, Grandmas, Sisters, Teacher-Aunts and Women.” “Teacher-Aunts?” Carp asks. “Teachers and Aunts?” Tinkletoes says. “I figured this stuff out when I was four. Get with the program buddy.” He says patting Carp on the back. “Not all teachers are women.” Carp says. “Besides, shouldn&#

Tinkletoes and Carp slowly raise their heads listening for any unusual sounds, sniffing the air for smoke, looking for flickers of flame. There was nothing. They rise, helping Mr. Donut get up after they do. “It's okay. The rest of you can get up now.” Tinkletoes calls to the elderly men at the south end of the yard. They rise, slowly. Helping each other as needed. “That's a lot of bullet holes.” Mr. Morely says. “Sure is.” One of his companions agrees. “A shame.” Comments continue to sprinkle through the yard. “That was a damn fine shed too.” “What a waste .” “I hope there wasn't any gasoline in there.” Carp says. “She stores that in the other shed.” Tinkletoes says. Looking at Mr. Donut he says, “Well Sweets that was your first time with an Uzi. Let's see what you caught.” Carp makes his way over to the shed's remains. Walking up the ramp he opens the door and disappears inside. He emerges pushing Writer Lady's la