Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

Writer Lady calls to Dobby from her Big Writing Chair. "So what is it we're doing tonight?" "You're writing Mom haven't you caught on to this yet?" Dobby asks in return. "I know that. But what about?" Writer Lady asks. Dobby sighs and rolls his eyes from his comfy spot on the couch, “I guess I have to do everything don't I?” he asks. Dobby enters High Command, "Just pick something. Anything." He looks up at Writer Lady from his spot on the floor. "Oh, just a minute kitty. You got stuff in your eye." Writer Lady says in an annoyingly high pitched voice. She reaches down to remove the offending goo. "When I said 'Just pick something' I didn't mean that." Dobby says. Writer Lady cleans her finger off with a tissue and disposes of it. "I know kitty but, there was stuff in your eye. You know I can't let icky stuff sit there like that." “How do you explain the

Tinkletoes is down. From his position, on his back in the middle of the living room floor, the odor stifling. Tinkletoes tries breathing through his mouth but that just makes it worse. Dobby takes this opportunity to make himself scarce. “Breathe Dragon pee stink through your nose...down you go. Breathe Dragon pee stink through your mouth you're gonna pass out. ” TP giggles. “ Dylan, get that pee outside, Quick!” Peter instructs. “Don't spill . Furnatche stay with me.” Furnatche whimpers looking up at Peter, the dragon takes a seat by his side. Both look down at Tinkletoes. “Things seem to be a little better.” Peter says after sniffing at the air, lightly.    Dylan comes back in the house. “Did you spill?” Peter asks. The four year old shakes his head. “Go wash your hands.” Peter instructs. “Now what do we do about this?” “Give him mouth to mouth.” TP giggles. Peter glares at the faerie, then hears a loud slurping noise coming from t

Dylan's face grows red. Peter moves in between Tinkletoes and Dylan. “What my brother was trying to say is let's each of us come up with a solution. Put them in a hat pull them out and decide what will work the best.” Peter says. “No. No. That takes too long. Let's say what we think. Try it or decide not to. If it doesn't work go on to the next one.” Tinkletoes counters. “Besides. I brought my bag. I'm sure we can fix this in no time.” “With a flamethrower?” Peter asks. “Not the flamethrower, that would just burn the whole tree down. I don't have just the flamethrower in here. We'll find something else.” Tinkletoes reaches into the bag and pulls out a grenade. Holding it up he says, “How about this?” No one answers. “Okay no grenades.” Tinkletoes says, rifling through his bag. “Sir?   Do you have anything that's um...not combustible?” Peter asks. “Flare guns don't count, do they?” Peter shakes his h

                                                   “Oh dear me. Whatever is wrong with this tree?” Writer Lady exclaims looking at the Christmas Tree. “You've been playing with the picture books again Mom, haven't you?” Dobby asks as he enters the living room. Writer Lady is standing across the room from her work scrutinizing. “Well sweet kitty, Dylan needed to hear a story. There was nothing else for it.” She answers. Dobby looks over at the young boy and the baby dragon sitting on the couch. There is a large stack of picture books piled up where Writer Lady had been sitting. “They did help with the decorations. Where's your Christmas spirit?” Writer Lady looks at the ginger tabby smiling. “For it and spirit? The effects are wearing off, at least. Where did I put that?” Dobby asks, pretending to look around. He pulls an empty box out of his pocket and opens it. “Sorry Mom, all gone, the box is completely empty. No Christmas Sp

“Meow. Me-ow!” Dobby calls. “Yes Dobby. What is it Kitty?” Writer Lady asks. “Time for bed.” Dobby says. “No it's not.” “Yes it is.” “No. It's not.” Writer Lady argues. “ Yes it is! Yeow! Now! Let's go.” Dobby orders. “ I'm the human, I'm the grown-up, I'm the mama and you can't make me.” Writer Lady says sticking her tongue out. “ Yes I can.” Dobby says. “ No you can't. I haven't written the new post for the blog yet.” “ Okay fine.” Dobby says pacing across the floor in High Command. “Just get your work done it's time to sleep.” “ It's writing kitty. Creative writing . I can't just crank it out. This isn't fast food.   I need to be in a comfortable space. There needs to be positive energy. You are not being positive. I can smell your breath from here. Go use some mouthwash. Please .” Dobby leaves the room. He waits twenty minutes and peeks into the room to see what's g

It's early morning and Writer Lady stands over Dobby in the kitchen in her nightgown, pouring fresh kibble in his food dish and giving him fresh water. Dobby looks at the bowl without eating. “There you go sweet pea.” Writer Lady bends over to pet Dobby. “Forget something?” Dobby asks. “Do you want a belly rub this morning?” Dobby glares. “I didn't forget anything. Sorry kitty. It's breakfast.” Writer Lady answers standing up to full height and proceeding to walk away. “It's Thanksgiving!” Dobby call after her. Stopping in her tracks, Writer Lady rubs her hands over her eyes to wake up more. Turning around she says “Of course, Dobby. What was I thinking? Happy Thanksgiving.” Writer Lady says and leaves the kitchen. Dobby finds her in bedroom putting on her exercise clothes. “It's Thanks giving . I'm your kitty, your sweet pea, your baby. Where's the gravy?”

Dobby enters High Command finding Writer Lady in the Big Writing Chair. But not writing. “Mom? Mooom?” Dobby says rubbing his head against Writer Lady's arm. “What's wrong? You aren't writing anything.” “I know kitty.” “Are you sad?” “No.” Writer Lady says. “Then what's wrong?” Dobby asks. “Nothing. I have nothing on my mind.” “You aren't thinking about anything?” Dobby asks. “Not a thing.” “There isn't a passing thought?” He continues. “Nope.” Writer Lady answers. “Are you sure?” Dobby asks. “You can check if you like.” Writer Lady says. Snapping his fingers Dobby produces a magical brain opener. A wee bit of a can opener if you will. As the opener makes a line around the circumference of Writer Lady's head, a sparkling line appears twinkling and glittering around her. Dobby puts away the brain opener. “I hope no one tries this at home.” Writer Lady mak

“Mom. Mooom!” Dobby calls out walking in to the kitchen. “Yes kitty.” Writer Lady answers, she is standing in front of the island studying the two bright green and yellow gourds she bought in October for Fall decoration. “What are you doing?” “I'm trying to figure out what to do with these gourds now that Halloween is over.  I picked these up because they looked so alien to me.  Like something was going spring forth without warning and destroy us all.” Writer Lady says picking one of the gourds up and displaying it in her hand. Bending over she held it close to Dobby so he could get a better look. “See it almost appears to have strange claw like tendrils. There are these wart like growths on it too.” Dobby sniffs at it for a minute. A strange pulsating is coming off of the gourd. “That's interesting. Maybe you should put that down now.” Writer Lady returns the gourd to the top of the kitchen island. Dobby rubs his head against her ankle i

“ Once upon a time...Okay Dobby now what?” Writer Lady asks. “Now what, what?” “What comes next?” “I don't know. I thought you knew.” “If I knew a story I wanted to tell I wouldn't have asked you to tell me a story.” Writer Lady answers. “You are the Writer Lady. It's your job to have a story.” "Not every day." "Yeah! It kind of is." Dobby answers. "Okay so refresh my memory. I do this, why?" Dobby lets out a sigh and wanders over to big dark closet in the far corner of High Command. Rustling sounds can be heard and fairly soon objects come flying out of the closet, many of them bouncing off of Writer Lady's head. Throw pillows, linens, empty mesh hampers, winter socks. Papers, oh the papers. Dobby comes out of the closet holding a beat up Memo book. Writer Lady scribbles in those, just so you know...she has one all of the time so if you have a conversation and then she scrambles away to scribble...u may become part of a character

“Dobby! Dobby kitty come here!” Writer Lady calls. The ginger tabby opens one eye, raises his head, slowly standing and stretching out his entire body. After a couple of licks to his body Dobby jumps off the bed and makes his way into High Command. “Whaaaaat?” Dobby yowls entering the room. “Guess what?” “What?” Dobby asks. “This is so exciting. You'll never guess. I know you'll never guess.” “WHAT?” Dobby asks again. “Our blog has 80 posts! We started this a little over a year ago and we are almost to 100. Isn't that great?” Writer Lady asks. “Sure Mom. Great.” Dobby answers returning to his bath. “You don't sound very happy.” Writer Lady says. “Of course I'm happy.” slurp “You don't look very happy.” Writer Lady says. “ I'm totally happy Mom.” sluuuurp “ We kick blogging ass. It's just...” “ It&#

                                               “Mom?” “In the living room kitty.” Writer Lady is in her exercise clothes sitting cross legged on a yoga mat, arms to her sides, hands resting on her thighs. Faint instructions can be heard coming from the television. Writer Lady lays down on her back with her knees bent. She raises her torso keeping her head on the floor. Dobby walks over to where Writer Lady's head is and climbs up on to her chest with his back to her. “Dobby...move please.” Writer Lady says. Dobby turns around slowly to face her. “What?” “Get down kitty. You're on my chest. Can't breathe.” “Mom, I love you so much.” Dobby says, rubbing his head against hers. “I said, Move your ass.” Writer Lady reaches up and pushes the cat off of her boobs. “Well. That was rude.” Dobby comments as Writer Lady collapses panting. “Sorry kitty. But that was also painful. All twenty pounds of you was on my chest. I couldn

“Mom what are you doing?” Dobby asks walking to High Command and stopping at a tall white boot. “I'm working on the blog kitty. What else?” Writer Lady answers. “Why are you dressed like that?” Dobby asks. “Dressed like what?” Writer Lady looks at her clothes. “Oh that. Thursday is Halloween. It is going to be too cold to wear this while I'm handing out candy. I'm wearing it now. It's inspiring.” “A British flag dress is inspiring?” “It inspires me to keep having fun. Also, I have been trying really hard to stay this size all summer. Just for Halloween. I'm wearing it a second time.” “What if someone finds out?” “Who's going to find out?” “What if someone comes to the door and sees you like that?” “Who's going to come to the door?” Writer Lady asks. “Are you expecting anyone?” Dobby shakes his head. “I'm not expecting anyone either. So it's fine. You know what I need kitty. I need lipstick.” Writer Lad