Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

“Do you know what I need Dobby? I need some candy.” Writer Lady says. It is early evening, dinner is over and the kitchen has been put back in order. Writer Lady has retired to the living room with a large mug of coffee. She sits on the floor in front of the Christmas tree at eye level with Dobby who lays on the couch dozing. The ginger tabby gazes at her adoringly and listens closely. “You know candy. Supper is over. I have a hot cup of coffee. Candy goes with coffee.” “I don't know Mom, you've had a lot of sugar today.” “What makes you say that kitty?” “I don't know, maybe the way you hogged all of Dylan's toys this morning.” Dobby says. “Those toys are way cooler than anything I ever had as a kid. Besides I had to make sure they were safe. We don't want the lil' guy to get hurt, do we?” “You also finger painted until there wasn't any paper left in the house.” “I'm exploring my creative side.”

In a small town in the Midwest, on a darkened street, in the wee hours of Christmas Eve morning a single light glows from a single bedroom. A reading lamp is on with a writer sitting under it. Writer Lady is propped up in bed still wearing her warm jammies, blankets are covering her and keeping her toasty. A clipboard with a writing pad attached is resting across her lap. Pen in hand she looks up thoughtfully and then begins writing in her own flowing script. Dear Santa She crosses it out. My Dearest Santa Claus She crosses the new salutation out. She writes, Santa Baby... then mutters No, no I can't call him that. Too informal, besides he's married. You don't call a married man baby. Not having much luck with her letter she looks at the clock again. 6 am--finally! Writer Lady's face brightens, she looks over at Dobby who is curled up and sleeping soundly on the empty side of the bed.  Technically, it's

“Hey!”  Tinkletoes yells from the street, “Are you gonna turn on the music or what?” Dobby stops whittling and looks up taking in his surroundings.  Everyone is looking at him expectantly.  “Looks like someone's got a hankerin' to see some blood,” he says.  Slowly Dobby puts his knife and branch away because he's a cat.  They take their own sweet time.   He pulls Writer Lady's cell phone out of the other pocket.  Setting the volume as high as he can Dobby looks up at Shredded TP.  The faerie gives him a nod.  The ginger tabby taps the phone's screen several times and... I just met you and this is cra-zy but here's my number so call me maybe, pours through the deserted town and along the street. Everyone looks at Dobby.  Dobby taps the screen quickly hoping there is a five second rule for embarrassing music faux pas among other guys. Hold me now.   It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. “Oooops.”  Dobby says tapping at the scree

“Gentlemen.” TP says from the podium. The faerie looks at an area above and behind Tinkletoes as if the room is brimming over with military personnel. “You are excellent soldiers. Thoroughly trained and full dedicated to defending your country. Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there is an area of your training that has been overlooked. Your ability to interact positively with the fairer sex.” Carp rises from his chair and steps to the podium, placing a hand over the the microphone he says, “TP you can't say that.” “I am General Tampon Sir, please address me as such.” General Tampon A.K.A. TP says. “I'm sorry. General Tampon but you can't say that.” “It's General Tampon...Sir!” The faerie corrects smiling. Carp tries again. “General Tampon Sir, you cannot put it that way.” “You need to pause between the Tampon and Sir. If you picture ellipses in your mind it helps.” General Tampon instructs with a smile. Carp rubs