Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

  I sat down on the window seat with a fresh mug of tea in hand, watching as my new community mingled on the street below. The week had flown by. This was the first time since I found Lester that I felt relaxed. At ease. I missed my best guy terribly but Cassandra was right, there was something about this apartment that felt like it fit. Like it was meant for me. For a few brief minutes it was good to be here. If this was one of the romance novels I usually enjoy on a night like tonight this would probably be time for the grand gesture. The moment the love interest realized what he was about to lose, quit acting like a douche and showed up late in the third act or the moment for the meet cute with the exact man the lonely yet lovable protagonist was hoping her lost crush was going to be (whereas the crush turns out to be lacking in the very qualities the main character needs in a partner). I looked at the clock. Six pm on New Year’s Eve. “It’s n

  When the world comes crashing down around you everything looks very dark. You aren't sure where to turn and thoughts that run through your mind are things like “I don't know what to do” and “Where do I go from here?” That's what happened to me. I found myself awake in the middle of the night steeped in them. If I'm not directing, if I'm not telling stories, then who am I ? Am I still a storyteller when nobody sees the product of my labor? Eventually I realized that question was too much like if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear did it actually fall? When we create something, when we open up our minds, our hearts and show others pieces of our souls and no one stops to look at the result does it have any value at all? Once upon a time I wouldn’t have thought twice before saying “yes,” for several days last week I wasn’t so sure. This morning I was sitting at my favorite table in the very back of the Starbucks down the street

  Somehow it all fell apart. As I mentioned earlier, my previous movie is not getting put out into the world. I plunged ahead and finished my current screenplay in a way nobody liked including me. Between the finished screen play and the news that my previous project was shelved I lost the backing on my current project propelling me into my own dark night of the soul. It's funny how a really bad day can send everyone running to the hills. Nothing sends friends, loved ones, and acquaintances packing like an emotional crisis. There’s content all over the Internet telling people to reach out when they are struggling, unaware that when a person is struggling reaching out for help feels a lot like moving a huge boulder. Which is probably why so many people don’t get the help they need. When a person does get someone who listens to them they generally turn away or find ways to be less available in the future. Where was I, oh yes the dark night of the soul. A dark ni

  Just when you think life can't get much worse your world comes crashing down. Marley Why is it so hard to let go of things that are bad for us? Why is it so difficult to let go of the parts of our lives that make us feel terrible? Do humans hate themselves so much that we feel like we deserve it or do we just hate the idea of hurting other people? Brent hasn’t been here in real life. Correction. He hasn’t been in my life any more than he’s been in Melanie’s or Ted’s or Cassandra’s. Even Andy’s. Andy is the member of our group that Brent’s always been the closest to. Much to Cassandra’s displeasure. It must be difficult when one of your best friends marries your archnemesis. If Brent has an archnemesis Cassandra is definitely it. Confession: Cassandra is the best human friend I’ve got but the one who’s been there for me throughout most of my life, day in and day out is not human.  The bestie of my soul, the one who always shows up for me no matt

  Today was a difficult day. One of the worst I've had in a while. I ran into a problem. Who am I kidding? Problems with my next film. Problems finishing the screenplay which has led to delays with other aspects of development which is making my financial backers nervous. At this rate this project may never make it to preproduction. After a long day of that drama I got a phone call from the studio who bought my first major project (name dropping is a No No). They wanted to notify me that they were exercising their option not to market and distribute. Sigh. It took years to finish the script for my last film. I worked painstakingly on the details of every aspect of the production of that movie. All that work to have it sit in a vault somewhere over the next few decades. Why do I do this? It's hard to not take so many things going wrong in one day personally. I can't let myself do what I used to do anymore. I used to cry in the shower, put on a robe, a