Saturday Night Silliness -- Random Musings of a Writer Lady and Her Cat.

Dobby: Okay Mom. I'm here. (Dobby struts into the den).  Oh my gosh! Dobby, what is that? Dobby: I'm getting so popular now, I decided to wear a little something I can strut my stuff in. You know for the ladies... (Dobby turns around, modeling his copy of the well known white Elvis jumpsuit complete with jewels and high collar. Thank goodness he couldn't do the hair.) Really? The white jumpsuit. You had to do the white jumpsuit thing? Dobby: Yeah. It's classic! Look at what the costume place threw in! (Dobby struts over to a box almost as tall as he is and opens it.) See? What? Dobby: A minute please...Big moments like this take time. (Dobby reaches his head in and pulls out a white scarf with his teeth). See? The scarf too? Dobby: Yep, this whole box is full of them! That way when I see a pretty girl at my window I can rub my face on the scarf and throw it out to her. She'll catc

He is gone again. Every day that cat disappears. I always find him in the basement. Usually he comes slinking back up the basement stairs into the kitchen, belly to the floor looking guilty. (Dobby enters the den) It's about time you showed up. Where have you been? Dobby: Ummm... downstairs. You have been spending a lot of time downstairs lately. Dobby: And... Why are you spending all of that time in the basement? You killed most of the crickets already. There are no mice or anything. What are you doing? Dobby: Oh, you know just hanging out. (Mom looks at Dobby with suspicion.) You hang out up here all of the time why do you need to go down there? Dobby: Privacy? Privacy? You have under the bed, two closets and various other “private” nooks and crannies to hide in. Why down there? Dobby: Sometimes a guy needs some space. (Dobby leaves the den.) Space? I go to work five days a week. Several hours a da

I cried out but all that did was make the strange people and animals look at me more. A big black dog kept trying to sniff at me. His person kept pulling him back to her. Mom came back and sat down next to me, I think we were on a bench like the one I sit on in the den at home. Mom started talking to the other people in the room with us. The big black dog and her owner settled down across the room from us. This made it harder for the big black dog to sniff at me. I was grateful. Hearing Mom's voice made things a little better. Seeing other animals in the room just as worried as I was helped too. I would not be alone, whatever my fate. I cried out periodically to remind Mom who she came to this strange place with, she was awfully friendly with the dogs. Things were going well. Everyone was even talking about me, the best looking guy in the room. I turned my head forward so the strangers could admire me better, when the man with the little dog ex

Dobby are you ready? Dobby: Ready. You have to put down what I tell you to no matter what. Are you sure you can do that Mom? Yes. I can. Dobby: Because Dad always said you could never repeat what someone tells you word for word. Your Dad said lots of things. Let's not go there. Besides word for word is only important if you are a translator for a diplomat or someone who has publicists. Dobby: That's definitely not you Mom. That's what I told him. Did he listen? No... Dobby: This is supposed to be about me. My day today and my adventure not whether you were a good wife or not. I know. The past is in the past. Go ahead sweetie. Dobby: Today started out early. Which was strange because it is a Saturday. Mom went to sleep late and got up early and she was...perky. Very perky. She didn't exercise, make coffee or shower. Just got dressed. She petted me a lot and was perky. Without the coffee. Perky.

--> Okay Dobby! What else is on the list for potential songs to play when the Opportunity sensor gets tripped. Dobby: Just leave it where it's at. That song is too sexual. I don't want the Faeries to think I'm some kind of a slut. Dobby: Mom. They are Faeries, as in magical creatures, who cares? Nice women don't talk about sex. Dobby: Mom. (puts paw on Mom's arm) You talk about sex all the time since Dad died. That ship has sailed. Really? (Mom sits down) I'm a slut? Dobby: You are just verbally um ...loose. Yeah. That's it. Loose. Mom...are you okay? Um...yes Dobby I'm fine. Just adjusting my view of myself a little bit. I'm still normal? Dobby: You're talking to a cat Mom. How normal do you expect to be? I guess you're right. I just have to learn to accept being so verbally loose. I'm not a tease then? Dobby: You are so shy you hardly look at men. To be a tease you would ha

Dobby: Mom. What are you doing? Writing. What does it look like I'm doing? Dobby: Watching the new door. How long do I have to wait until something happens? Dobby: As long as it takes. (Puts paw up to face—I love using her own expressions against her. I don't even know what I just said. It's driving Mom crazy.) (Mom hops up and down on chair) I don't want to wait. Opportunity is taking too long. Make it do something! (whines) I'm not getting any younger! Dobby: You're not maturing very quickly either. It's a Magic Door! I've never had a magic door before. I'm excited!! Dobby: (Pulls out human adoption paperwork to check the fine print-- “I don't remember anything about childish behavior when magic is involved in this Disclaimer. I see seasonal depression, pre-menstrual syndrome, post menstrual syndrome, other hormonal changes in normal human females that we have no clue wh

Well Dobby,  it looks like Fall is coming for a visit.  The gray clouds have been drifting in and out all day.  I think they are staying for a while now.    Dobby:  Why isn't anything written?  Inspiration has to strike.    Dobby:  I'll bite you if you think it will help.  No thanks.    Dobby:  You want to wait? I'll ask you to bite me if I get desperate, okay?    Dobby: (Muffled "okay")  Just sharpening my teeth a little, you know just in case.  Mom I have been thinking about the blog.  You started this blog with me and included a really bad romance.  Wouldn't more people read "our" stuff if we made the whole romantic story available? They might Dobby.  That was what I was thinking about too.  I am trying to figure out how to post them in a way that can show up sequentially.    Dobby:  We definitely need to start people from the beginning.  But how? I'm trying to figure it out.  I'm reading the help section.  No luck so far.  I thi

You know Dobby,  I've been thinking about the shoot-out the other day.  Technically, you didn't draw anything.     Dobby:  (enters den with academic glasses on)  You are right I did not draw a picture.  I "withdrew" a "picture" from the pocket of my way cool brown leather duster. A brown coat.  I don't remember seeing you in a brown coat.     Dobby:  No Mom.  Not a brown coat.  A "duster"  like this.  With a graceful flourish of his front leg and paw a brown duster appears out of thin air. (Mom glances from side to side suspiciously)  No hidden cameras.   How are you doing that?      Dobby:  Mom.  Please.  One question at a time.  (with another flourish of his cat like reflexes the duster disappears into a cloud of...dust, what else?).  (Walking back and forth across the room like a brilliant professor thinking out loud).   What was I saying?  I "withdrew" a "picture" as opposed to your more literal pencil drawing.  Sin

(Dobby comes into the den)   Dobby:  Mom, I want you to know I love you very much.  I tried really hard.  This food bites and I'm not eating it. (Ptchoo--a piece of kibble gets shot on to the floor). Yes.  You are.    Dobby: No, I'm not.  (Ptchoo--another kibble bounces off the top of Mom's foot). Yes.  You are.    Dobby: (Ptchoo, ptchoo, ptchoo the cat shoots kibble out of his mouth and it ricochets off of Mom's shin. Ouch!   Dobby:  Sorry Mom but we're doing this my way now. Really?    (There is a strange whistling in the air--) (Mom looks out from under her cowboy hat) You don't have what it takes to run this house FE-LINE.   Dobby:  (John Wayne impression)  Maybe not little lady, but I do have nine lives.   Do you?   Tom Petty- I Won't Back Down Dobby:  I have a theme song too.   Did I mention the theme song? Crap.  The shooter with the kick-ass theme song always wins.  :( Draw pussy! (Mom takes out paper and pencil and dra

I feel so much better this morning.  I'm so glad I waited to post this.  I'm getting coffee.   **Musical Interlude**  "Reach Up For The Sunrise"  Duran Duran. So Dobby, are you ready?   Dobby: Ready. (rubbing mom's leg) (Dobby sniffing at the coffee cup)  Dobby!  Nose!   Dobby: (backs away)  Sorry Mom.  I forgot.  I'm really glad we are spending time together like this.  I have been wanting to talk to you about something. (leaves the room) (returns; spits something onto the floor at her feet) What is this supposed to be? (Mom bends over to get a better look)  That's your food.  The same stuff you always get.    Dobby:  No it's not.  Where are the funny shaped ones?  The pretty colors? The pet books and documentaries say those were created by the pet food industry to make owners feel good about the food they are giving their pets. You aren't supposed to see the difference.   Dobby:  They taste better.  When something actually tastes g

So Dobby here we are.  We are officially a blogging team.  How do you feel about it?     Dobby: (Closes his eyes in contentment)  It was inevitable.  We can reach more people this way and I will spend less time at the computer.     Dobby:  That's why I told you to do it.  Sorry sweetie but I made the decision to do this.  I was playing with the idea and some really wonderful people encouraged me.  Here we are!  Wow.  Amazing.  Did you ever think when we started this we would end up expanding to a blog?     Dobby:  I was hoping you would have gotten to the point by now. (Rolls eyes).  We are having fun.  There doesn't have to be a point.  :)     Dobby:  I am witty with a biting sense of humor.   You really couldn't do this without me.  Not as well as we have been doing together.     Dobby:  I am the driving force behind our success.  What?  What success?      Dobby: The success that is coming.  Whatever.  Let's just have some fun.      Dobby:  I think since

--> It's time for tweeting yeah. (points to Dobby) There u r. Hi watcha doing? What's up Buttercup! (Dobby leaves room) Was it something I said? Crap :( What do I do now? (Dobby returns) Oh boy. Oh boy. :) I'm thinking maybe I should have not have had that cup of coffee earlier this evening. Dobby: Ya think? I'm excited. Dobby: Gassy too. (making face) The coffee didn't sit well. I got excited today. My sister is house shopping. She found an especially good one. Well, probably. Houses in really good shape for a reasonable price are hard to find. Why do u think I rent? Dobby: Because you don't like work. Anything that looks like work, smells like it has been near work... I'm kick a** with a paint brush. Don't start. I kick a** too. :) but only with a paint brush. Dobby. Kitty, kitty. I don't feel funny tonight. Dobby: (reaches up and touches Mom's arm) I hate to tell u this Mom but u do