In The Dark With The Bear

The room is completely dark.  Writer Lady can hear random chatter around her. 

 Pixies calling, “What's happened?”  “Someone's turned out the the lights.” “Magic is so much more reliable.”  

Tinkletoes' footfalls (okay...thumps) can be heard leaving the area.

Monitor Man's arms are still around her holding her upright.  “The lights will be on again soon.”  He says reassuringly.

It's dark, no one can see anything.  I can do this...I can do this.  Echoes through Writer Lady's head.  She raises her head to face Monitor Man.  The top of her head meets the bottom of his chin.

“Ouch.”  He says just loud enough to let her know that something solid is in her immediate vicinity.

“Sorry.”  Writer Lady whispers.  I can't do this....I can't do this.   She closes her eyes.   Is that Monitor Man?   He smells so good.  Writer Lady leans in to get a better whiff and their lips meet.  I'm kissing him.   I can't believe I'm doing this. She thinks as she puts a little bit more enthusiasm into the kiss.

“Open your mouth, Silly Woman.”  Carp's voice can be heard ringing through her mind.

Go away Carp!

Seconds later Monitor Man's lips part.

Oh my goodness.  Oh yeah.  Writer Lady leans into Monitor Man because...something solid...because...difficult to stand up.

The kiss ends seconds before the lights come up.  Writer Lady and Monitor Man take turns turning away from the crowd in order to rearrange themselves.

Tinkletoes returns to the kitchen.   “Everything's all right.  A fuse went out but I have things situated.”

Writer Lady looks at Dobby as the ginger tabby follows Tinkletoes back into the kitchen.

“It's okay Mom.   We fixed it.”

“He's right. We fixed it.  I just replaced the burnt out breaker with a working one.”

Writer Lady nods, slowing her breathing as she realizes that no one knows what just happened.  Except for Monitor Man because he was there.  And Carp...because Carp somehow has the ability to muck around in people's minds again.  She looks around the room slowly, looking for signs that someone witnessed their kiss in the dark.   Tinkletoes reaches out and touches her on the arm, Writer Lady jumps.

“I fixed the lights but don't try to use the washer or dryer.  There's no power to them right now.   I'll fix it later.”

Writer Lady nods.

“You look real pretty.”  He continues.   “Would you mind skedaddling?  We're doing important political guy stuff right now.”

Get out now and come tell me everything.  Carp's demand rings through Writer Lady's head.

Writer Lady mentally rolls her eyes, nods and quietly retreats from behind the podium.

“Before you go, could you put some food out?”  Tinkletoes asks.

Writer Lady quietly waves good-bye and leaves the room.  Monitor Man waves back as Tinkletoes is checking his own appearance.

Tinkletoes leans in and whispers to Monitor Man, “You might want to check your hair.  You have a cowlick.  Unless you like playing with your hair or something.  Do you...?”

“Do I what?”  Monitor Man whispers back.

“Play with your hair a lot?  I hear you actor types do that stuff.”  Tinkletoes studies Monitor Man's spot of mussed hair.  “I bet I know what it is.  You got mobbed at the airport didn't you?  Some woman's been runnin' her fingers through your hair.”

Monitor Man adjusts his hair quickly.  “Yeah.  That must have been it.  There were so many women...”

“You probably can't keep track of all of them.”   Tinkletoes agrees and looks at Monitor Man more closely.   “Don't look now but I think one grabbed your butt too.”

Carp corners Writer Lady the moment she returns to her bedroom to change.

“You are so bad.”  Carp says.   “You never told me what a wild woman you could be.”

“What are you talking about?”  Writer Lady asks, pulling off her shoes and pulling her jeans back on under the skirt of the British flag dress.  “I just kissed him.  By accident.   He was the one who...”

Carp shakes his head.

Writer Lady looks at Carp.  “What?”

“Don't play innocent.  I was in your head.   I know where your hands were missy.”

Writer Lady blushes.

“Are you going to tell me that was an accident too?”  Carp asks.

“I never know what to do with my hands?”

“I'll forget that I know anything on one condition.”  Carp says.  “Details.  Spill.”

“Who has the next question?”   Tinkletoes asks.

Several pixies raise their hands.

Tinkletoes picks one in the third row.  “Okay you.”

“I have a question for Monitor Man.  How long have you and Writer Lady been seeing each other?”

“That's easy.”  Tinkletoes says.  “They haven't.”

Tinkletoes looks at Monitor Man.   “You haven't been seeing Writer Lady.  I would know.”

“You're right.  We have not been seeing each other.”

“Next question.”  Tinkletoes calls, choosing another pixie.

“How long have you two been texting?”

Monitor Man answers, “We haven't.”

“That's enough with the personal questions.  We are running for office.  Who has a political question?”   Tinkletoes asks.

A pixie in the back row raises her hand.  “I have a comment.”   She squeaks. “That was one heck of a kiss for two people who aren't seeing each other.  Maybe you should ask her out.”

A pixie in the front row giggles and the kitchen fills with the chatter of pixies agreeing and adding comments of their own.

“I don't know what you're talking about.”  Monitor Man says.

“You don't remember being kissed like that?  It was dark but I thought humans had better senses than that.”  The pixie in the back comments.   “We saw everything.”

“Are you sure no one knows what happened?”  Writer Lady asks.

Carp shakes his head.   “No one saw a thing.”

“Pixies are magical creatures.”

“They only see movement.”  Carp reassures her.

“But can they see in the dark?”  Writer Lady asks.

“Our eyes are far superior to yours.  Of course we can see in the dark.”   A pixie answers Monitor Man's question.

“So how well can you see?  It's just shapes...outlines.”  Monitor Man says prompting the pixie to agree.

TP pops in between Monitor Man and Tinkletoes' heads.  The two candidates are standing side by side.  Best buds.  Political brothers in arms.  “They see in the dark like a human does with night vision goggles.”

“That's pretty good.”  Monitor Man says.

“You can't hide anything from a pixie.  Silly human.”  TP says.

Pursuing The Bear

Writer Lady looks at what she is wearing.   “What's wrong with my clothes?”   She asks.

“Jeans and a t-shirt.”  Carp says making a face.

“It's 25 degrees outside.  You're lucky I'm not wearing a parka.”

“The kind with a hood?  Because I hate to tell you sweetie but your hair looks awful.   How do you feel about hats?”

“I don't like them.”

“I always say that hats are like books if you don't like them then you haven't found the right one.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp.

“Where are your shopping hormones?  Do you have them in sleep mode?  Repeat after me, 'Looking pretty is fun'.”  Carp says.

“Your mama dresses you funny.”   Writer Lady responds.

“At least I'm out of my bathrobe between the hours of 10 and 9.”

Writer Lady rolls her eyes.  She turns and looks at the door.  “Is that Monitor Man walking by?”   She asks.

Carp sharply turns to face the entry door and peeks out.  High pitched giggling commences, Carp looks down to find two pixies hovering near the base of the door.

“Cookies?”  A pixie asks.  “Every other dollar helps fund the Tinkletoes/Monitor Man Presidential campaign.

“No thank you.”   Carp says closing the door.  “Pixies.”  He mutters.  “Tinkletoes is still running for President with Monitor Man.  We need some red, white, and blue.”   Carp looks at Writer Lady.  His gaze wanders the length of High Command's walls stopping at a picture taken of Writer Lady with The Lady with the Long Golden Hair during their trip to the Land of the Rising Bird.  “I can get you out of here in two shakes to see Monitor Man and we don't have to go shopping.”

“What's the catch?”  Writer Lady asks.

“No catch.”  He says.   “Not yet anyway.   Do you have a push up bra?”

“I might.”  Writer Lady answers.

A few minutes and a lot of arguing later...

“I don't like this.  This is a bad idea.”  Writer Lady says.  She is standing in front of a full length mirror in her British flag dress.

“You look fantastic.”  Carp says putting the finishing touches on her hair.

“It's freezing outside.  I'm freezing.”

“I know your skin is a little bumpy but it's doing wonders for your cleavage.  You're wearing red, white and blue perfect for a political campaign.”

“It's a British flag dress!”  Writer Lady points out.

“It is an inspiration.  It reminds Monitor Man of what can be overcome with focus and a little bit of hard work.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp and growls.

“Okay a lot of hard work.”

Writer Lady shakes her head.  “This is ridiculous.  Monitor Man cannot possibly be here for me and what about Tinkletoes?”

“What about Tinkletoes?”  Carp asks.

“We have a date to go out on a date.”

“As my grandmother used to say, 'You snooze you lose'.”

“That's not very nice.”  Writer Lady says.

“Neither are the tumble weeds rolling through the desert trail that is your love life.”

Writer Lady begins to protest.

Carp reaches out and takes both of her hands in his, he looks into her eyes and says, “Sometimes things aren't just about you.  This is about Monitor Man.   This is about all of those women out there that have loved their own Monitor Man. You have a chance that all of us...them would give anything for.  To take the delicious man of their dreams in their arms, put their lips to his, open their mouths and kiss him so deeply, so fully he feels like...well he is very satis...happy when the kiss is over.   You have a chance to claim that unreachable man and if you don't you are condemning us all to empty lives and unfulfilled dreams.  Forever.”

“You aren't expecting much are you?”   Writer Lady asks.   “I'm not sure I can do this.”

“It's easy, just make sure that when you're done it's hard for him to stand up.” Carp says.

Writer Lady begins her long walk into the kitchen feeling naked in more ways than one.  She turns towards the bedroom only to be stopped by Carp.

“Nah uh uh.  Where are you going?”  He asks.

“Sweater.”

Carp turns her back towards the living room.   They continue their journey.

“Not even a sweater.”  Writer Lady grumbles.

“You're on a mission sweetie, soldier on.”  Carp says pushing her into the kitchen and directly for Monitor Man.

She stumbles over her feet trying to avoid all of the pixies.  Writer Lady shifts her weight from one foot to the next as she avoids creating pixie destruction/carnage with every step.

“Oh my gosh.”  Writer Lady says as she stops at the refrigerator.   “Did I step on something?  I feel like I stepped on something.”   She says looking around the floor.

“It's okay Mom.”  Dobby says.  “You didn't step on anything.  Wait a minute...” The ginger tabby slides something along the floor.   “You killed a food dish.”

“Is that all?   Thank goodness for that.”   She says looking where Dobby is pointing.  “I have to be careful I don't want to spill any water.  Ooops...” Writer Lady slips.

Monitor Man reaches out and catches her, holding her steady.   “Whoa...it's okay I've got you.”  He says smiling.

Writer Lady's eyes grow large, she looks across the room at Carp who grins and gives her the 'Okay'.

Tinkletoes' growl starts low and gradually grows louder.  The growling noise keeps growing as do Carp's gestures.  It starts with pronounced puckering and quickly grows to waving arms, Carp holding a couch cushion to his face and kissing it passionately.

A pixie's voice can be heard over the crowd.  “Writer Lady and Monitor Man are a couple.”   Flashes start going off throughout the room.

Another voice calls “We need a picture.  How about a kiss?”
(Yep it was Carp)

Several pixies squeal and others continue encouraging.

Tinkletoes' growling continues his face growing red.  He begins to lean in closer to Monitor Man and Writer Lady.

   There is a cracking noise and everything goes dark.