Late Night Conversations

Writer Lady looks at Monitor Man, her eyes growing wide.   She presses her lips together indicating that it wasn't her who pointed this detail out.   Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady holding her gaze for several seconds.

“I thought that it would be a nice way to spend more time with Writer Lady.”  He turns facing TP, House, and Mural Man again.  “I only did what Tinkletoes told me to do because it gave me the opportunity that I was looking...”  Monitor Man holds up one hand and modifies his words, “I was hoping for.”

“Tinkletoes opened the door.”  Mural Man says.

“I just chose to walk through it.”   Monitor Man says.

“That's your argument,” House says.  “In other words, it's okay to do something that other people want you to do as long as there is some sort of pay off for you?”   She asks.

“Care—ful.”   TP sings.  “It's a set up.”  The faerie warns giggling.

Monitor Man takes his time answering.  “No.  It is about making a conscious decision whether you want to do something or not.  Not blindly following along. In this case, I followed orders because I knew...”  Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady and says,  “what I wanted.”

Writer Lady smiles gently and looks away.

“Yeah.  Yeah.”   House says sarcastically rolling her eyes.  She looks at Mural Man and says, “I'm done here.”

“It looks like it's time to go.”   Mural Man announces.  “It was nice meeting you.” He says looking at Monitor Man.

“It was nice meeting you too.”   Monitor Man says.  “Don't forget that we're getting together soon.”

House glares at Mural Man.

“I'm not sure that's going to be possible.”  Mural Man says.

“Make your own choice.”  Monitor Man says.

Mural Man, House, and TP make their way towards the door.

“She's got to sleep some time.”   Monitor Man whispers to Mural Man as he slides past Monitor Man's side of the bed.

“I heard that!”   House exclaims.

“Good.”   Monitor Man counters.  “That woman?  She's terrible.”  He says looking at Writer Lady when they are alone again.  “Is she always like that?”

“She's not the nicest but she also isn't a woman.   Not really.”

“She um...”

“No.  House is the house.”

Monitor Man raises an eyebrow.

“House is this house.  It's kind of a long story.”

“I'm not tired.”  Monitor Man says, positioning his pillow against the headboard and leaning back.   “Give me the highlights.”

“You remember the Ninja Zombie War?”  Writer Lady asks.

Monitor Man nods.

“House made her presence known the same day I went to see you.  She took all of Dobby's toys and wouldn't give them back because he wasn't picking them up like she told him to.  Over the previous weeks, I had spent a lot of time complaining that I couldn't keep up with everything and kept saying, 'This house doesn't clean itself.'   TP changed that.  He made the house a living breathing entity that could hear, see, have thoughts, emotions...”

“and clean itself.”  Monitor Man says finishing her sentence.

“Yes.   Skipping forward, during the Ninja Zombie War, Carp developed a man crush on you, he decided that you and I were supposed to be together.  How a man crush becomes the object of their affection's dating service, I don't know but somehow he did.  When I didn't return home from the war hand in hand with you, Carp was crushed.”

“How did you feel?”   Monitor Man asks.

“TP put a mural of you up on my bedroom wall to make Carp feel a little better and to pick on me a little bit too.  According to Carp I ruined everything.”

Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady and listens closely.

“House took one look at Mural Man and fell in love.  He seemed to like her too so TP created a mural of her choosing, that way they could interact on some level.”

“You didn't answer my question.”  Monitor Man says.

“To answer your question, House hasn't always been polite to the rest of us but she adores Mural Man.  Lately she has gotten a little bit cranky with him too.  I think that there might be too many of us.”

“What does a house feel like when it's too full?”  He asks.

“I don't know...bloated?  House knows that Carp had plans and Mural Man looks just like you.  You are a reminder that Mural Man was not created for her.  She feels threatened pretty easily.”

“Mural Man was for you?”  He asks.

“For Carp.  To get to enjoy his fantasy that his vision for us came true.”

“You never tried to take him away from House?”

“A picture of a man?  He's made out of paper.  What am I going to do with a man made out paper?”

“Stand next to him and take lots of pictures?”  Monitor Man asks.

“I prefer a real man.”

Monitor Man starts to open his mouth.  Writer Lady puts a finger to his lips to stop him.  “A human one.”  She says lowering her hand.

“You're kind of limiting yourself aren't you?”

Writer Lady looks at Monitor Man.

“What about super hereos, humanoid space aliens, time travelers?”

“A human.”  Writer Lady says smiling.

“A Jedi?”

Writer Lady looks at him sternly.

“You still haven't answered my question.”  Monitor Man says.  “How did you feel about not returning home with me?”

“We had to travel nearly two hours in a cab spending the whole time weaving this elaborate story about being in a local movie to try to convince the driver that the putrid smell in his car was fake blood and not ninja zombie blood.”

“Still not answering my question.”

“He kept asking us if this actor was in it or that actor was in it.  One time Tinkletoes wasn't listening and said that he met John Wayne.  John Wayne?  In a zombie movie?  The cabby almost radioed for the state police.  We convinced him that Tinkletoes was trying to be funny and he put down the hand set.”

Monitor Man waits.

“I don't know how he didn't see the eyeball that was threaded through the heel of my boot.   Did you know that there was a zombie eyeball on the heel of my boot?”

Monitor Man leans in and whispers.   “You're not going to talk about your feelings are you?”

When The Bear Meets Himself

TP reaches out with the feather, gently stroking Monitor Man's toe.  The sound returns. House, TP and Mural Man look at each other smiling and laughing quietly.  TP flutters forward getting closer to his prey.  Using the feather the faerie makes one long stroke along the most ticklish portion of the foot.  A full laugh emerges from Monitor Man that ends with a snort.  Writer Lady raises her head and opens her eyes to find Monitor Man looking at her.

“Did you just snort?”   She asks.

“Who me?   Of course not.”

“What was that sound?”

House and TP stifle their laughter from the shadows.

“Maybe it was one of the cats.”   Monitor Man suggests.

Writer Lady looks around, “There aren't any cats in the room.”

“The little dragon?”

“He's not in here either.”

“The big dragon?”  Monitor Man asks.

Writer Lady starts to answer and then stops, thinking for a moment.   “You've never seen Diomedes.   How do you know there's a big dragon?”  She asks.

Monitor Man cups a hand to one ear as if cuing fate to offer up an answer quickly.  “I heard about him?   When a big dragon appears suddenly word gets around.”

“Diomedes doesn't sleep in this part of the house and besides, he's a gentleman.  He never snorts.   If you two had met then you would know that.”

“I don't snort.   If I did...I would hear it.   Besides I'm an actor.  I'm not allowed to snort.  Well, only if it's in the script.”

Writer Lady looks at him assessing his honesty.  “I'm sorry I accused you then.”

“Actors are good liars too.”  TP says giggling.

“Is that you TP?”   Writer Lady asks.

There is more giggling.

“TP!”

“It's not just me,” the faerie answers giggling.

Writer Lady rolls over and reaches for a light switch, after several seconds of waiting for their vision to adjust...the pair find out who exactly is in the room and Monitor Man gets his first glimpse of...well...himself.  Writer Lady uses some inappropriate language.  She looks at Monitor Man.  “It seems that we have an audience.”

“An audience?  An audience to what?”   Monitor Man asks.

“That's a good question.”   Writer Lady says.

“I'm glad that you liked my question because I have a few more.  Who are these people?  Why are they watching us?  Why does that guy look just like me?”

There is a marked silence.

“Well?” Monitor Man asks.

“I'm thinking.”   Writer Lady answers.  “I guess that the first thing to do here is to make some introductions.  You know TP.”

Monitor Man gives TP a nod.

“The willowy brunette on the wall next to him is House.”

Monitor Man says “Hello.”

“Hello back sexy.”  House responds in her most sultry voice.

“The...man closest to you is Mural Man.”

“Hello.”  Monitor Man and Mural Man say, greeting each other in unison.

“He's your twin.”   TP giggles.   “I made him so that Carp could see you and Writer Lady together.”

“But they aren't together.”  House says pointedly.   “He's with me.  Mural Man is my husband.”

Mural Man makes his way along the wall back to House.  “Your husband.”  He says. “I thought that you had commitment issues.”

“I do. I have issues with you being with anyone else. Now you're my husband.”

“I'm not sure that's the best reason for committing yourself to another person.” Mural Man says.

“It's what you want. Does it really matter how we get there?” House asks.

“No?”   Mural Man asks.

“Then shut up and smile.”

“Shutting up and smiling.” Mural Man says.

“House is not very nice, is she?”  Monitor Man asks looking at Writer Lady.

“She is a diamond in the rough.”  Mural Man says, answering Monitor Man's question.“We're working on it.”

“I can see what's missing from Mural Man's limited dimensions.”  Monitor Man whispers.

“His nuts.” TP says giggling.

“If any important aspects of my character are missing it's only because you are missing those characteristics as well.”Mural Man counters.

Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady.

“Mural Man..what happened?  You're always so kind.”  Writer Lady says.

“I am.  I have to apologize to you Writer Lady but House is special to me. Monitor Man...”  Mural Man says, motioning with his head, “is saying not very nice things about her.”

“I'm sure that Monitor Man didn't mean it that way.”

“She's right.”Monitor Man agrees.“But being understanding of others does not mean that you should let them treat you the way that House is treating you.”

Mural Man's face begins to turn red.

“I think...” Writer Lady says, changing the subject, “that it is nice that you two are getting the chance to meet. Aren't you curious about the person you were created in the image of? Won't it be nice to get to know what Monitor Man is actually like and learn some new things.”

“I can teach Monitor Man a few things.” House purrs.

“You already have a husband.” Mural Man says.

“I can have two. You have to sleep sometime.”

Monitor Man shakes his head. “Writer Lady is right Mural Man. We should spend some time together. I think that I can...”

Writer Lady slides her hand across the bed. She reaches out and pinches Monitor Man.

“I think that we...” Monitor Man says correcting himself, “could learn a lot from each other.”

“Maybe Monitor Man can help you grow a pair.” TP says.

Monitor Man unsuccessfully hides his smile. “You really shouldn't let people tell you what to do all of the time.” He says.

House leans in and whispers something to Mural Man.

“You're right.”Mural Man admits.

“Tell us Monitor Man, you yummy thing you, how much of your life is spent doing what other people tell you to do, even when you aren't working.  How exactly did you end up in this bed with Writer Lady?   Didn't you just follow Tinkletoes' orders?”

When The Bear Meets His Fate

“But...” Pixie Three says, “We were having such a lovely conversation.”

“I was just getting started.” Pixie One says.

Tinkletoes swiftly raises his hand, scooping the pixies into an empty jelly jar. “Now  it's over.”  He says, covering the jar and locking them in.  “Carp.” Tinkletoes says. “If you don't mind.”

“Mind?   You just made my night.” Carp says taking the jar and leaving the room.

Tinkletoes points to Writer Lady.  “You.  Stay here.”

“You'd better hurry with that.  Tinkletoes will be back any second and he's pissed.”  Carp says to Monitor Man as he walks past the front door.

Monitor Man continues smiling and politely saying “good night” to large groups of pixies as they leave the house.   “Thank you for coming.”   Monitor Man smiles and waves.   “Things will go much more smoothly next time.”  He says.

“I should hope so.”  A pixie exclaims as she leaves the house.

The pixies slowly rise up into the night, blending in with the stars and eventually disappearing into the darkened sky.

Carp comes back into the living room.   “Where's TP?”  He asks.

“I don't know.  He disappeared when Tinkletoes declared the party over.”

“I need to do something with these.”  Carp says holding up the jelly jar.   Three pixies are in the jar.   One is flying near the lid.  The second is sitting quietly at the bottom.   The third is fluttering in the middle making a rude gesture with her hand.

“That isn't very feminine.”  Carp says to the third pixie.

The pixie taps against the glass so that Carp can get a better look at her disdain.

“It's okay.”  Monitor Man says, reaching out to take the jar from Carp's hand.   “I know these ladies.  I think that I can smooth things over.”  He takes the jelly jar of pixies outside, closing the door behind him.

“That was easy.”  Carp says.

“Where's Monitor Man?”  Tinkletoes calls from the bedroom.  “Get him in here. Now.”

“Clearly it was a bit too easy.”

“Go to bed.”   Tinkletoes orders as he closes the door behind him.   “We have a long day tomorrow.”

“This is awkward.”  Writer Lady says looking at Monitor Man.

Both are in pajamas, their are teeth brushed and each are standing on opposite sides of Writer Lady's bed.

“Yes.  It is.”   Monitor Man agrees.  “But in the morning it won't be.”

Writer Lady ponders his words. “No. It won't be.”  She agrees.  “On three?”  She asks.

“On three.” Monitor Man agrees.

“One...two...”

“three.”  Monitor Man says finishing the countdown.

Writer Lady pulls back the covers and climbs in.  She lays down on her side of the bed, doing it without looking at Monitor Man.  She suspects that he has done the same because she can feel his weight on the opposite side of the bed.  Writer Lady closes her eyes.  Sleep does not come.  She turns over on to her back. Sleep still doesn't come.  Monitor Man is not moving much.  His eyes are closed. Writer Lady turns with her back to Monitor Man again and tries to sleep...nothing.

“Can't sleep?”   Monitor Man asks.

“I woke you.   I'm sorry.”

“You didn't.  I'm having trouble sleeping too.”

“This is awkward, right?”  She asks.

“Yes.  A little.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?”  Writer Lady asks.

“No.  How about you?”   Monitor Man asks.

Writer Lady's gaze wanders to Monitor Man's shoulder.   In a moment of boldness she asks, “Can I borrow your shoulder for a little while?”

“You can.”

Within seconds she has scooted over and tucked herself in next to Monitor Man.

“Thank you.”   She whispers.  “It's been a while since I've had this.”  She says drifting off to sleep.

A faint whisper might have come from Monitor Man's lips but sleep came too quickly for her to be sure.  Writer Lady did not hear anything not the sounds of the children, animals or even the cooing coming from the wall behind her.

“Awe...”

Writer Lady hears House's release of sound but the fact that it is more than a breeze whistling through its eaves does not register.   Then the whispering starts.

“They look so cute together.  I wonder if we look that cute together.”   Mural Man says.

“She finally got one.”  House says.  “A hot one too.”

“I think that guy kind of looks like me.  Don't you think that he looks like me?” Mural Man asks as he slides along the wall edging closer to the bed.

“He does.  Two of you in one place.”   House says.  “I thought life couldn't get any better.”  She starts singing... “It's Raining Men,” by The Weather Girls.

“What's going on?”  TP asks as he pops into the bedroom.

“Writer Lady and some really hot guy are canoodling.”  House says.

“They aren't canoodling.   They're cuddling.”  Mural Man says.

“They will be canoodling.  Any second now.  Trust me.”  House says.

“I think that guy kind of looks like me TP.  What do you think?”  Mural Man asks.

“That's Monitor Man.   You are a picture of him.  Of course you look like each other Silly.” TP giggles looking at Mural Man.   “I wonder if he's ticklish.” TP says spying one of Monitor Man's toes peeking out from under the covers.

“Stay here.”  House says.   “Don't spoil our fun.”

TP waves a hand and a very long feather appears.  “TP's not going anywhere. TP can still play.”   TP manuevers the feather to the base of Monitor Man's toe and strokes.  “Tick-le, tick-le, tick-le...”   He says.

A strange sound comes out of Monitor Man.

“Did he just...giggle?”  Mural Man asks.

TP nods, the faerie's face is red with unreleased laughter.

“Quick.  Do it again.  Do it again.”  House whispers.

TP moves in with the feather to get a better angle.