Where There Are Bubbles...

Getting no response Monitor Man continues, “Monitor Man, it's so wonderful to see you! Pie?” He asks, mimicking Writer Lady. He looks down at an imaginary pie that he is holding. “That looks amazing. I don't mind if I do.” He says. He lowers his head to eat only to have it redirected by Writer Lady as she gives him privy to her view.

“What the...” He says as a pair of giant bubbles zooms by their heads. “What are those things?”

“Bubbles.” Writer Lady says. “Flying bubbles.”

“Something is inside.”

“I think that it might be...” Writer Lady pauses as they watch the bubbles that had just flown past their heads lower to the ground. “...some form of transportation.”

“In this mess?” Monitor Man asks.

“Yes.”

Monitor Man studies Writer Lady looking for more information.

“Haven't you noticed that the rain is not as heavy now?” Writer Lady points skyward. “The vegetation is so thick that we aren't getting drenched like we were when we were out in the open?”

Something disturbs the tree tops behind them. Monitor Man pushes Writer Lady to the ground seconds before bubbles shoot past where their heads used to be.

Writer Lady looks up nearly butting heads with Monitor Man, “See? The bubbles are flying low. They're protected by the trees.”

“If they are a method of transportation...are you thinking what I'm thinking?” Monitor Man asks, standing up.

Writer Lady nods. “We need to find out if they really are a method of transportation and if anyone can use them.”

“If they are then we can get out of here.” He says, offering Writer Lady a hand as she rises from the jungle floor.

Writer Lady looks at Monitor Man and smiles. “Or...” She says raising an eyebrow.

Monitor Man picks up her thought and raises a brow in return. “We can circle back around and turn the tables on our pursuers.”

“This is going to be so much fun.” Carp says.

“What?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Catching a bubble. We can search a lot more quickly with one of those things.”

Tinkletoes thinks for a bit and smiles. “I have to say I like the idea of watching you try to catch one of those things.”

“I am a retired writer. I have an imagination. I am open to other possibilities. I've got this.” Carp says. “It will be more fun watching you try to catch one. Big, thundering, no imagination. Those bubbles are never going to open up to you my friend.”

“That isn't part of the plan.” Tinkletoes says. “My plan is...”

“You aren't coming?” Carp asks.

“My plan is...”

“It won't be the same.”

Tinkletoes glares at Carp. “The plan is: you search by air. I'm staying on the ground. That's where the real searching gets done.”

“She's not in the bonus room.” Paige says, entering the living room.

“Not in the kitchen.” Peter calls, returning with Dylan following close behind.

“She's not in High Command.” Ray says, sniffing at a brightly colored cat toy he returns from High Command with.

“What are you sniffing at?” Paige asks.

“Catnip.” Ray says. He leans in close and inhales deeply. “Good stuff.” He sniffs again. “Not domestic.”

Diomedes looks at Ray, “Imported?” He asks.

“Duuude...somewhere good too. Madagascar? No way man. That can't be right.” Ray sniffs again.

“Why are you sniffing catnip?” Dylan asks thoughtfully.

“I'm the cat.” Ray says, looking down at the tow headed boy.

“Well, Mr. Cat, did Writer Lady leave a note?” Paige asks.

Ray continues sniffing. “What?”

“You were in High Command? With the desk? Paper? Pens? A dry erase board? Did she leave a note saying where she went?”

Ray turns around looking in the direction of High Command, he turns back facing the others. “Um...no?”

Paige looks down studying the clipboard that she's holding. “What is the status of the bedroom?” She asks without looking up.

“All clear.” Mural Man calls, entering the room, and stopping next to House.

“We've checked the kitchen, the bonus room, the laundry room, Writer Lady's bedroom and High Command. That leaves...the bathroom. Who wants to look in there?” Paige asks, looking up and searching the room for a volunteer. “Anyone?”

There is silence.

“Ray?”

Ray takes a step back.

“What's wrong? You're the cat. Writer Lady loves cats. Doesn't she love you?”

“Du—ude yeah. But not in the bathroom. You should never go into the bathroom when a female is doing her...thing.”

“Diomedes?” She asks.

The dragon answers almost immediately, “I do not invade ladies' commodes.”

“The bathroom was the room we found you in.”

“I did not know that it was a lady's commode.” Diomedes counters. “If I had I never would have entered.”

Everyone looks at Dylan who takes a step back stopping next to his big brother.

“Don't tell me that you're scared of that woman.” House says.

“And you're not?” Ray asks. “Dude.”

“The bathroom is part of me, as I am part of it.”

“Then you check.” Paige says.

“No. I don't care where she is. The longer she's gone the easier my life is. When she's gone I can do things with this place.” House says wistfully.

“Aunt Purdy says that doing things behind someone's back is bad.”

“So.” House says.

“I agree.” Paige announces.

“I don't. I don't care what you think either. Who put little Miss Overachiever here in charge?” House asks.

A strange noise is heard coming from the bathroom. Everyone turns to look at the bathroom door.

“What was that?” Peter asks.

The noise grows louder.

“Dude...that bathroom is haunted man.”

The noise repeats louder accompanied by the sound of glass breaking.

“It sounds like someone is going to have to go in there.” Paige says, looking at the group.

More glass breaks as the floor shakes beneath them. House cries out in pain.

“That's it.” Mural Man says. “I'm going in.”

“No way man. You'll get wet and dissolve.”

Ray looks at the cat toy he is holding, he takes one last inhalation. “It's okay man. I've got this.” Ray places the toy on an end table and makes his way into the hall stopping at the bathroom door. The door opens, a bright light radiates through the hallway and into the living room. “Duuude....”

Faerie Lands and Good Friends

Carp reaches out and touches the antelope's offered hoof.  Hey it's a hoof.  The closest you can get to a hand shake is a fist bump.  You think that I make this stuff up as I go along?  So, Carp reaches out and touches the antelope's offered hoof.  “Carp.”  He says introducing himself.

“The writer with the bows and arrows.”

“With terrible aim.”  Tinkletoes says, bumping his fist against Black Buck's hoof. “Tinkletoes.”  He says introducing himself.

“The Great Ninja-Zombie Slayer.”

“And the next President of the United States.”   The self-proclaimed mercenary adds.

“Yes of course.”  Black Buck agrees.

“How is your campaign going sir?”

“Well...um..things have been better.   My VP disappeared on me.”

“Monitor Man?  That's not good.”

Carp watches Tinkletoes and Black Buck as they talk.   “How did you know about us?”   Carp asks looking at the antelope.

Black shifts his gaze to Carp and smiles.  “TP visits quite frequently to share the details of his adventures among all of the silly humans.  He is popular here.   So popular that the other faeries refer to his stories as 'The Silly Human Chronicles.'  You should have seen the group of listeners during his last visit.”

“TP's always with us.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Remember, time moves differently here.  TP can come and stay for many hours but in your world only a snippet of time has passed.”

Tinkletoes nods.

“All of the stories that I've read describe it as working in the opposite manner.” Carp says.

“It is actually quite different.  Did you know that faeries can work together to not only control time but things like details of their geographical setting and the weather?”

“The weather?”

“We all have our favorite settings...our optimal climates for survival.   They just decide what they want and run with it.”

“Like one minute we are in a sunny, meadow and the next we could be in...”

“A desert.”   Black Buck says, finishing Carp's thought.

“That doesn't sound like a good idea.”

“Not for us Earth creatures it isn't.”  The antelope continues.  “One time I was visiting, it was a sunny day.  A climate much like this one.  Two faeries showed up.  They each wanted a different climate and could not agree on one.  One of them wanted a tropical climate, the other an icy tundra.”

Carp takes out a pad and pen.   He starts scribbling.

Black continues, “They threw spells around for hours until two spells converged and hit the atmosphere as one.  I found myself in an Amazonian rain forest during a hurricane.   The two faeries got out their raincoats, hats, and galoshes. The played in the storm for what seemed like an eternity.  I nearly drowned.”

“What happened when the faeries got tired of playing in the rain?”  Carp asks.

“They left.”

“What happened to the rain forest?”

“Once an environment is changed by magic it remains until another faerie or magical being comes along and changes it.   So I waited for the next transport and left.”

“Transport?”  The assassin-in-training asks.

Black Buck looks between the pair of interested faces and smiles.  “Yes.   The transports are being size bubbles that float.”

“How much?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“This is Faerie.  Money doesn't exist here.  They are free for anyone to use.  You two would have to catch yours first, place the palm of your hand on to the bubble and hold it there until your heat signature is absorbed and added to the data base.”

“Heat signatures aren't unique.”  Tinkletoes points out.

Black Buck looks at Carp and asks, “Has he been listening?”

“Everything is a little bit different in Faerie.”  Carp repeats.

Tinkletoes nods.  “Then what?”

“The bubbles are permeable.  After the bubble has accepted you then you step inside.”

“No thanks.  I'll walk.”

“You don't have ride inside.”  Black Buck offers.  “You could just hop on.”

“Hop on?”   Tinkletoes asks, jaw clenching.

“Sit on top.”   The antelope explains.

Carp shakes his head,  “Tinkletoes doesn't ride around inside giant bubbles or on top of them.”

“Real Men Don't.”   Tinkletoes announces.

Black Buck looks at Carp and finishes sharing the details.   “Transports come through based on the number of souls counted.  They come through this meadow twice a day.  Remember, they never use the same route.”

“How do these transports know where to go?”  Carp asks, pen poised and ready for more.

“They can hear lost souls calling out to them.”

“Help!”

Tinkletoes turns his head listening for the calls origin.   “What the...”

“HELP!”

The group looks to the west and finds a family of platypuses calling out and waving. “HELP!”

“See.”  Black Buck says, nodding towards the horizon.

Four bubbles, one for each puss, comes floating over meadow grasses and stops. The group watches as each platypus takes their place in or on his or her personal bubble.

“Look Mom.  I'm riding on top.”  A smaller platypus calls out.

“Not today.  Your father is in a hurry.  Get inside.”

“Mo-om.”

“Don't argue with your mother.”  The largest platypus calls out.

“O-kay.”   The young platypus slides down the outside of his bubble and climbs inside.

The largest platypus calls out, “Pixie River.  Step on it!”

The bubbles take off, whizzing over the men's heads and the antelope's horns as they pass.

“Did you find anything?”  Monitor Man asks, stopping behind Writer Lady.

“Shhh.”

“Have you noticed how much you have been shushing me lately?”  He asks.

“Shhh.”

“No.  I didn't think so.  Do you remember that time that I came to visit and you hung my every word, laughed, smiled, and offered me pie?  I miss those days.”

“You also left, shacked up with Incredibly Hot Woman, then returned only to drag me into a war with Ninja-Zombies since then.”

“It was a slight disagreement.”

Writer Lady turns and looks at Monitor Man.

“An inter-dimensional incident?”

She doesn't falter.

“You didn't have to come and get me out.”

“Leave you and forever be known as the woman that let Monitor Man become a zombie?”

“A Ninja-Zombie.”

“The end result would have been...”  Writer Lady rolls her eyes upward, holds out both arms, and starts groaning.  “No.  I would have been killed by your adoring fans within the week.”   She lowers her voice.  “Besides, you're too cute for that.  It would have been such a waste.”

“I'm cute?   Am I sexy too?”  Monitor Man asks.

“Shhh!”

“And we're back to square one.”