Saturday, August 24, 2019

Hunting For Pheasant


Scotch looked at Pen. “You’re dressed.”
“Dressing is one what one typically does when one’s had an intruder.”
“So much for Plan A.” He looked around the kitchen. Scotch reached out and lifted the bag from Pen’s kitchen can. “We’ll go with Plan B. Do you have your keys?”
Pen tapped at her left leg pocket and felt her keys. “Yes.”
“Lock the door behind you. It’s time to rustle a few bushes and see how many pheasant come flying out. How do we get out?”
The pair step out into the empty hallway. Pen pointed to a darkened stairwell at the far end.
“The agency cleared this?” Scotch asked as they made their way down the stairs.
“The light bulbs need replacing.” She said as they exited the building. “It’s going to be fixed on Monday.”
“How long has it been that way?”
“Three weeks.”
“Three weeks?” Scotch repeated and shook his head. “Why didn’t the agency move your approval to move in date back until after the repair had been made? It’s standard protocol. Anyone could have been hiding in here, monitoring your comings and goings this entire time. If he or she timed it right no one would have known that they were here.”
“They could exit the building undetected.” Pen added.
Scotch nodded.
“Like we just did.” She pointed out. “Sometimes dark stairwells are a good thing. Considering my reputation as a scientist, perhaps the agency trusts me to show enough common sense to stay out of darkened stairwells.”
Scotch pointed to a row of garbage bins lined up like palace guards. Pen nodded. Scotch quickly disposed of his prop. A dark blue car rolled by and parked at the opposite end of the block. He watched as the door did not open, there was no movement indicating that the driver would be exiting the vehicle during the next few minutes.
“Have you seen that car before?” He asked.
“Yes or one like it. Nearly every day.”
“At this time of night?”
“It varies. There are several people in this neighborhood with similar cars. It seemed highly plausible that whomever it is reside somewhere nearby. I’ve had no reason to question...”
“The hallmark of a good spy is that they blend in to the point that no one has a reason to question their presence. No one has reason to suspect that they do not belong in their surroundings. No one would ever suspect that they are, in fact, a spy. This is what I believe your law enforcement people like to call ‘something that does not look right’. That car parking at the far end of the block in the middle of the night, making no indication that they are exiting the car right after there has been a household trespass a few doors down does not look right.” Scotch’s teeth gleam pearly white in the darkness. “We have located Pheasant Number One my dear Pen.”
“What do you want to do?” Pen asked.
“I’m thinking.” Scotch took Pen by the hand as they crossed the street in front of the parked car. “When I say ‘Now’ look at the license plate.” Scotch instructed. “Now.”
Pen quickly looked at the plate on the car then raised her eyes to smile at the person sitting behind the wheel. She looked at Scotch, they smiled at each other.
Scotch guided Pen into an alley down the next block. “Using the note app on the phone type in the plate number for the car.” He said as he typed something into Pen’s phone.
“That’s strange.” She said. “The phone is asking if I want to ‘send.’”
“Choose ‘Save for later’ and then ‘Send in ten minutes’ under the drop down menu.” He said as he finished his own note. Scotch guided Pen back out of the alley.
“Do we continue walking?”
“Yes. For about twenty minutes.”
“Then what?”
“I’m taking you home with me.”
Pen stopped walking. “What? Why?”
“I have a plan. It will all go smoothly if you come back to my place with me.”
“Why do I feel like I’ve heard this line before?”
“You probably have but not in this context.” He attempted to continue Pen on their way.
She refused to budge.
“Still not moving, eh?”
“Do you have a problem with the word ‘No’?”
“Not usually. Although I do have to admit that it is not a word I hear often. When was the last time that a woman said ‘No’ to me, 2005? 2001? 1997?”
“This isn’t a game Scotch.”
“1994? Yes. It was 1994. I was new to the agency and still learning my way about.”
Pen shook her head. “Where are you going with this?” She demanded.
“Not to the bedroom, obviously.” He said. “Keep walking with me. If we stop moving anyone who’s watching will notice that something is wrong and we’ll lose any chance that we have at gaining an edge.”
“You’re trying to sell a hook-up story right?”
“That is the idea darling.” He answered with a grin.
Pen reached up and slapped Scotch. “We stopped walking because we are having a lover’s quarrel. Problem solved.” She looked around the empty street and she continued on her own.
“What did you do that for?” Scotch asked catching up with her.
“You said that you were worried about the fact that we were standing still driving off potential followers, slapping you indicates that we are probably arguing, which we are, thereby quickly alleviating any concerns your fellow spies might have.”
Both Scotch and Pen watched as a black SUV passed them traveling in the opposite direction and heard tires screech as it made a u-turn. The pair quickened their pace. Scotch walked ahead of Pen, turned to face her, then stopped, blocking her path.
“This is me.” He said. Scotch gestured to the building they stood in front of with a nod of his head. “The fake fight was a good idea, you forgot one thing. Now that we’ve had a fight we need to make up.”
Pen raised a brow.
“It’s the only way to justify you entering the building with me.” He grinned.

Saturday, August 10, 2019

Fan Letter


The moment that Scotch exited the living room Pen went in the other direction. She returned to her bedroom and with a flip of the light switch she began counting.
“One.” Pen shut the door.
“Two.” She retrieved clean panties from a stack of clothes that had been neatly laid out on a chair and put them on.
“Three.” Bra was secured into place.
“Four.” Blouse pulled overhead and smoothed out.
“Five.” Pants put on.
“Six.” Pen snatched a stun gun and her keys off of the top of her dresser and opened the door, heading back through the living room and into the kitchen. She found Scotch standing next to her stove. He was looking at an apple that had been placed in on its center between the burners. The apple had been impaled with one of Pen’s cooking knives. A piece of paper was attached.
“What is it?” Pen asked.
“It’s for you. A fan letter.”
Pen looked a Scotch questioningly. He looked around the small kitchenette, spotting her dish washing gloves, he put them on and gently slid the apple to Pen so she could inspect it.
The note attached to the apple read: The Agency is not what you think it is. BEWARE.--U.
“Who is ‘U’?”
“Is that how you Americans speak? It’s no wonder your country is looking the way that it is these days.” Scotch teased. After a silence he gave a real answer. “Ursula. She was with The Agency once upon a time.” One side of his mouth turned up for a brief moment.
“You are fond of her?”
“I was...until I wasn’t.”
Scotch looked away. Pen watched as his eyes panned the room—across the stove, along the floor, to the refrigerator. They traveled along the counter and past the window. His gaze stopped at the door leading out of the flat. “It was Duff,” he announced.
“Duff?”
“Ursula sent Duff to deliver her message. He has a bit of a glandular problem and can be quite fragrant. Duff, being self-conscious, has tried using various colognes in an effort to mask his scent. The cologne only makes things worse.”
“You smelled him in here?”
“I had to work a stake-out with Ursula once, she brought Duff along. Our hiding spot was cramped and there was not much of an opportunity to get fresh air. Duff’s scent is a bit like cannabis, once you’ve smelled it up close and personal it’s an odor that you never forget.” He took off the gloves and tossed them into the sink.
“Doesn’t that make him a terrible choice for this type of work?”
“Ursula and Duff go back all the way to primary school. He does odd jobs for Ursula here and there. As I already said he is self-conscious about his glandular problem. He prefers to be non-confrontational.”
“You smelled him.” Pen said. “You smelled him and said something to bring attention to the fact that you knew someone was in the apartment with us encouraging him to make a quick get away. Brilliant.”
“I always have been. You’ve seen my profile at the agency.”
Pen raised an eyebrow.
“It’s actually an old trick. It works on great on school buddies who sneak into your dorm room to pull a prank.”
Pen went into the living room and returned with her phone. She began typing a text message.
“What are you doing?”
“Contacting Corporate. There are strict directives in place regarding residential break-ins of agents regardless of the circumstances.”
Scotch removed the phone from Pen’s hand and deleted her message. He took her phone, handing her his own. “Stay here.” He said and proceeded to leave. Scotch stopped moving when he felt her hand on his arm.
“I need my phone.”
“No you don’t, you have my phone.”
“All of my important numbers are in there.”
“All of your contacts with Corporate are in there too. The last thing that we need is for you to contact Corporate at the moment.”
“Corporate directives were crafted and put into place to keep all agents safe from harm.” Pen quoted.
“They were also put into place to ensure that said agents were under the agency’s control at all times.” Scotch thought for a moment and made a difficult decision. “You were right when you said that finding our targets already neutralized was a sign that something is wrong. I am right about there being something unusual going on at the agency, McKinney confirmed that for me tonight.”
“What’s going on?” Pen asked.
“He won’t share any specifics.” Scotch looked at the stove, gesturing towards the impaled apple and the note with a nod of his head. “Now Ursula has jumped into the mix.”
“That makes it even more imperative to check in with Corporate.” Pen countered.
Scotch shook his head. “Something is amiss. We cannot identify who the enemy is until we know who all of the players are.”
“Are you suggesting that it would be best to know where the parties involved are going with these deaths before contacting Corporate?”
“And who the responsible parties are.” Scotch said.
“It sounds like we have a bit of a mystery to solve.”
“The Spies Who Solved A Mystery. It sounds a bit like the title of a B movie.”
“Spy stories are actually a sub-genre of mysteries and thrillers.” Pen pointed out as Scotch opened the kitchen door leading to a back hallway.
“Then come along Dr. Watson, the game is afoot!” Scotch grinned as he ventured out into the empty hallway.

 *This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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