A brief smile escapes Francesca’s deep red lips, “You have no idea.”
Carp smiles back.
Writer Lady coughs.
He looks at the computer monitor then back to Francesca, “You have an interesting story for a ‘beautiful but deadly bad ass.’ What’s the problem?”
“Well…” Writer Lady begins.
“She doesn’t know where to put me.”
“I would go with a dark world. Something with a noir feel to it.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to do. My noir falls a little flat.”
Francesca looks at Carp. “She keeps rejecting her own dark world because she feels that I belong in John Wick’s.”
Carp looks at Writer Lady. She nods, her head still facing the monitor.
“Great. Reach out to some people, ask them to call other people and see what the big boys say.”
“There’s a problem. It’s kind of a big one.” Writer Lady says. She points to an open file folder on the table in front of her.
Carp studies Writer Lady’s notes. “That’s her…”
“...last name.” Writer Lady finishes the sentence.
He shakes his head. “There’s no room for that kind of humor in John Wick.”
“I know.”
“No one would take her seriously. It would completely diminish her story line turning it into one big joke.”
“I know.” Writer Lady agrees.
“Change it.” Carp says.
“No.” Francesca responds. “It is the name that I was born with. It is the one that I will die with.”
“Wigglebottom? You’re attached to a name like Wigglebottom?”
“It was my father’s name. He was a good man.”
A look of confusion crosses Carp’s face. He flips through Writer Lady’s notes. “The same father that you were compelled to run away from repeatedly, finally getting out for good only to be picked up by sex traffickers at the age of sixteen?”
“That was my stepfather. When I left home and he realized that I was never going to return he made a phone call, told the sex traffickers where I was, and invited them to pick me up.”
Writer Lady looks at Carp and nods. “That was her stepfather. Her father, Francis Wigglebottom, died when she was eight.”
“But still,” Carp looks at Writer Lady. “Wigglebottom?”
“It is my name. I will kill any who try to take it from me.” Francesca says.
Carp turns to Francesca, “You aren’t really getting this whole ‘fictional characters have no say in how anything works out’ thing are you?” The assassin-in-training turns back to Writer Lady.
Writer Lady nods in Francesca’s direction. “Bad ass assassin. I know what she’s capable of.” She shakes her head. “I’m not messing with her.”
“Hell-o.” Tinkletoes’ voice can be heard from the entry. The self-proclaimed mercenary a.k.a. space alien and other supernatural being assassin is grinning from ear to ear. There is a light in his eyes that no other living being has seen since the Ninja-Zombie War. “Who might you be?” Tinkletoes asks.
“I don’t think…” Writer Lady begins.
“Tink, have you seen the new controllers in Dobby’s gaming den?”
Tinkletoes looks in Carp’s direction then back at Francesca who is in a discussion with Writer Lady. Blades are important business.
“They’re still shiny and clean.” Carp continues.
“Really?”
“Never been touched.”
“Virgin controllers...hot woman who likes sharp objects…” Tinkletoes says, weighing his dilemma.
“Dobby’s been waiting to open them up. He wanted you to be there.” Carp explains.
The pair listen as Francesca’s points become more pointed. “The density of the new one-stroke dagger means that less pressure is required per centimeter of penetration. It’s a cleaner and faster kill.”
“My kinda woman.” Tinkletoes looks at Carp. “A woman that is willing to talk infiltration comes along once in a lifetime.” He steps towards the fantasy of any self-proclaimed mercenary come to life.
“Aaaand...we’ve lost him.” Carp says.
Tinkletoes stops to stand behind Francesca Wigglebottom. “Hi.”
Francesca turns and looks at Tinkletoes for a moment. “You already said that.” She returns her attention to the monitor and her task.
“You really seem to know your weapons, you know, for a girl.”
“I do know my weapons. An assassin always knows her weapons.” She replies.
“I’ve always hoped that women like you existed. I never thought I’d get to meet one.” Tinkletoes continues.
Writer Lady turns and looks at Tinkletoes. He is standing as close to Francesca as he can get. In her personal space. Few survive getting into Francesca’s personal space. Okay, no one that Writer Lady has ever written about has survived getting into Francesca’s personal space.
“I can show you how to get more out of a blade. Once you’ve learned from me it won’t matter at all that you’re a girl and naturally weaker or anything.” He offers.
“That’s not necessary. I’m very good with my blades.”
“I could help you be better.”
Francesca looks at Writer Lady then turns back to Tinkletoes. “I have another idea. Why don’t I show you a cutting technique that I recently used on one Vincent Donati. You can let me know what you think.” She leans in, close. “Open your mouth, stick out your tongue…” The assassin raises a hand to Tinkletoes’ face, knife at the ready.
Carp moves swiftly, “How about if you don’t give a live demonstration.”
Francesca looks at Writer Lady. “It will only take a minute.”
“It would also make one hell of a mess.” Writer Lady counters.
“How about if we solve Writer Lady’s problem instead?” Carp asks.
“Another one?” Tinkletoes asks.
“Tinkletoes, this is Francesca. She is a bad ass assassin and Writer’s Lady’s latest creation.” Carp announces.
“Always nice to meet another professional.” He says grinning at Francesca. “She looks okay to me. What’s the problem?”
“An ideal setting for a bad ass like Francesca has already been created.” Carp explains. “By someone else.”
“Commandeer it.” Tinkletoes says. He looks at Francesca. “Writer Lady’s great but she always makes problems way bigger than they need to be.”
“That would be wrong.” Writer Lady says.
“Borrowing something long enough to make it better than it already was is wrong?” The self-proclaimed mercenary asks.
“Ye-ah.” She counters.
“What is so wrong with going in, doing the job, and getting out?”
Carp thinks for a minute. He puts a hand to Writer Lady’s lips before she can continue the argument.
“That might work.”
Writer Lady backs her head away from Carp’s hand, “What might work?”
“Taking a brief skip around the playground and seeing how things play out. Lots of people do it. It’s called fan fiction.”
“Great.” Tinkletoes says. He looks at Francesca. “You ever play a game called Halo?”
“No.”
“I’d be happy to teach you.”
Carp and Writer Lady whisper back and forth to each other. Carp reaches out and stops Tinkletoes as he tries to leave High Command.
“We need you here.”
“I thought y’all were going to play fan fiction.”
“We are.” Carp says, “We’ll be able to tell right away if this story is going to work if you stay here and act some of it out.”
“What???”
“It is a pleasure to see you, Mr. Wick.”