Once Upon A Christmas Wish: House Guests and Messengers

 

“No!” I screamed. “You can’t do this to me! I’ve won two RITAs and a RoNA. Writers don’t nosedive like this. A writer has to have some horribly bad books under their belts before they shrivel up to die.” After which I took a break.

I took several breaks as needed each time coming back to my novel with more determination than before yet failing with each new attempt. After a long tiring day and a brief cry I went to bed hoping my house guests could find a way to help me as I was attempting to help them.

I woke on Saturday morning feeling tired and stiff. I put off getting out of bed as long as I possibly could. I showered and brushed my teeth hating myself, switching to words of praise and encouragement for following through with a good stretch work out. I tidied the house up after breakfast, going to work in the kitchen immediately after eating.

 I went through the cabinets first, verifying plenty of drinks and snacks were available. I put a batch of loaded baked potato soup into the slow cooker, made a fresh batch of cookies and set up the coffee pot. Checking Lisa and Phoebe’s rooms one last time I locked up and went for a walk hoping to pass the time until they arrived.

I heard the sound of tires crunching into snow as I was unlocking the door to the mudroom. Removing the key from the lock, I decided to take a detour. I walked around to the front of the house just in time to watch Phoebe climb the front steps and knock on the door.

“Little pig. Little pig. Let me come in.” I called.

Phoebe responded. “Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin,” as she spun around looking for me. “Aunt Jess!” She exclaimed when she spotted me. She ran down the steps and across the yard for a hug.

“Did you have a nice flight?”

“We sure did.”

“What did you see?” I asked.

“Lots of people all trying to get to different places. There were lights, music, and people speaking different languages. Santa Clause flew the plane!”

“Santa flew you here! He must know how special you are to take time off from Christmas preparations just to fly your plane.”

“It was just the pilot, Auntie. He was dressed up as Santa.”

I nodded.

“Everyone smiled when Santa boarded. The little kids were really excited.” Phoebe whispered. “They totally bought it.”

“Clearly you are too sophisticated for that. Let’s go help your mom with the luggage.”

I had just settled into bed when Lisa knocked on the door jamb. “Come in.” I said, turning my attention to her. “Did I forget something? Is your room comfortable?”

“The rooms are lovely. I was wondering if I could have a minute.”

“Yes. You must be exhausted.”

“We both are.” Lisa said as she sat down. “I think Phoebe fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.”

“The poor thing. How are you doing?”

“I'm sad but fully functioning.” Lisa responded. “How are you?”

I didn’t know how to answer her question. I thought about the problems I’d been having with the new book and the incidents leading up to those problems. I’d worked with Lisa for a long time. I made a decision and hoped it was the right one.

“Not very well. I was wondering, do you believe in things like magic? The power of Christmas?”

A confused expression appeared on Lisa’s face.

“Do you believe in Christmas wishes?” I asked.

She looked out the window at a bright winter moon for a brief period before turning to me and responding, “I do.”

Her answer was all I needed. I let everything that was happening spill out. All of it including the incident with the driver and the two incidents at The Naked Ankle. I could tell she was listening, compiling a list of logical explanations for everything. Then I showed her all four attempts to start the next Book Boyfriends Holiday Romance.

“This last one is really good. When did you stop working on it?”

“Yesterday morning.”

“You can’t get back into it?” She asked.

I shook my head. “The two main characters are too good together. There’s no conflict. How can they break up and reconcile if there’s no potential for conflict?”

“You have a point.” She agreed. “You shouldn’t give up on the fourth attempt yet.” Lisa continued flipping through the stack of pages. “You always run out of gas early on?”

“365. Three hundred sixty-five words in or some other combination of those numbers.” I confirmed. I looked at Lisa. “I’m not ready to retire. I can’t stop writing without producing at least one more holiday romance. The fans are waiting for it and I’m still under contract.”

“There are options. Let's talk about them. You can keep starting novels and hope you push through the block. Clearly you are blocked whether it’s psychological, emotional, or as suggested something beyond your control." She paused for a moment. "What if?”

“What if.” I repeated prompting Lisa to continue.

“What if you did what the stock boy said you needed to do in order to get your wish?”

I must have made a face because Lisa started to grin before she continued.

“Do it. Write about yourself and your life. Sit down and write hard and clear about what’s hurt you. Get it all out. The past and the present. If you fast draft it you can get out whatever is weighing you down and then you can move on. The stock boy didn’t say you had to publish it, he only said you needed to write it. If this is just an emotional block you’ll be able to move past it. If the stock boy was telling the truth then you’ll finally get your Christmas wish as well.”

“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” I repeated.

“It worked for Hemingway.” She studied my face. “Now you just look sad.”

I took a deep breath before answering. “I made that Christmas wish every year for several years. I believed in it. I waited for that wish. After years of doing everything I could to make it come true I accepted the truth. A Christmas Wish is not magic it's just a myth. There are some things we will never get no matter how hard we work or how badly we want them. I didn't get my wish because I made the one mistake you can’t make when it comes to wishes. I wished for something I'm not meant to have."

Tears welled in Lisa’s eyes.

I reached out for her hand. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Acceptance sets you free. With freedom comes joy and eventually hope.” I looked at her. “I’ll think about what you said. It may be time to do the hard thing. As for the wish, I gave up on that a long time ago.”

I did think about it. At five am the next morning when I could no longer sleep I picked up my laptop, opened a new document and began telling my story. It wasn’t very difficult, talking about the early years when it was just me and my mother. Remembering those days was easy. I was little and cute. The world was so big. The tiniest discoveries are amazing during a child's early years. In all of time we spent together my mother and I only had two really bad moments. I had gotten through writing about my eighth Christmas by the time Lisa and Phoebe were up and ready for brunch. I continued forward, finishing for the day just before I began writing about the months leading up to my mother’s death.  I had written more in one morning than I had in years. The next day’s writing would be difficult, draining even. I closed my laptop, reminding myself that tomorrow was hours away. I was determined to make the best of the afternoon in front of me. The three of us left the cabin on a mission to explore town.

Things were already bustling by the time we passed the “Santa Crossing” sign at the entrance to Lodgepole Falls. The snowy streets, colorful decorations, and festive music were inviting, promising a good time for all. Phoebe stopped every few feet to play in the snow as we wandered in and out of shops. Lisa found a coffee house just as the temperature started dropping. We ducked inside as new snowflakes began to fall.

I claimed an open table, providing watch over gloves, hats and shopping bags while Lisa and Phoebe returned with the drinks. I looked around the room at the other patrons all in various states of excitement and good spirit until my eyes stopped at the back of the room. Mr. McKinley was in line with Lisa and Phoebe. All seemed to be enjoying their conversation immensely. I turned away pretending not to notice while I quietly seethed.

“Hi.” A voice said.

I looked to my right and found a boy of about 11 looking at me. “Hello.”

“Are you that lady on TV?” He asked.

“Which lady?”

“The one that writes the books my mom reads?”

“I don’t know. Do they usually say something about book boyfriends on the cover?” I asked.

He nodded, blushing a little.

“I am that lady.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You can.”

“Did you always know you wanted to write romance novels?”

It seemed to be a deep question for a boy of his age but some adults are shy and sometimes they send a messenger. I’d run into it before. “I did not. Initially writing was something I did to sort out my thoughts and feelings. One day I decided I wanted to find out if I could write a book. The rest, as they say, is history.”

“Is that a yes or a no?” He asked.

The answer was a bit long winded, I had to admit. I tried again. “The answer is no.”

“Thank you.” He said and moved on.

Something pushed against my chair from the other side. It was Phoebe.

“Back already?” I asked accepting my coffee from her.

“I just met a mountain man.” She announced.

“Where?”

“There.” Phoebe said, pointing to McKinley.

Lisa lowered her daughter’s hand as she sat down. “It’s not polite to point.” She corrected.

“How else will Aunt Jess know who I’m talking about?”

I held back a smile. “She does have a point.” I said.

“I didn’t know when I agreed to this trip that there would be two of you.”

Phoebe looked at her mother. “Sur-pr-i-se.” The eight year old sang.

I looked at Phoebe. “Quick, before you get us both into trouble, tell me about your new friend.”

“He’s tall and has a pretty smile. His name is Mac. He’s a mountain man.”

“What is it about Mac that makes him a mountain man?”

Something tugged at my sleeve. I turned to find a girl standing next to my chair. She didn’t say anything. Another messenger perhaps? “Do you have a question?” I asked.

“Do you pattern your book boyfriends after men you might want to date?”

Lisa nearly spit out her coffee. I placed a hand on her arm reassuring her that I had the situation handled.

“No. Not necessarily.”

“Thank you.” The child said and left.

“What was that?” Lisa asked.

“I’m not sure. She’s not the first visitor who’s stopped by with a question.” I turned back to Phoebe. “How do you know your new friend Mac is a mountain man?”

“He’s tall. He lives here on the mountain. He works on the mountain. He can lift heavy things and he has the right boots.”

I nod and pretend to think about this for a bit. “Okay. If he looks like a mountain man, dresses like a mountain man and does work that a mountain man does then he must be a mountain man.”

A small boy ran over to our table and stood next to Lisa. I was hoping she would be the recipient of the next question. No luck. He was staring right at me.

“Do you have a question?” I asked.

He nodded. “Do you have a type?”

“That’s very sweet but I think I might be too old for you.”

The child shook his head.

“Are you looking for a yes or a no?”

He nods.

“No I don’t have a type.”

“Let’s see where he goes.” I said the moment the boy was out of earshot.

We watched as he ran right over to the counter and got a cookie from Mr. McKinley. Looking around the coffee house I found my first visitor. I got the boy’s attention and discreetly called him over. “Did you ask me the question you asked because the man in the back said you could have a cookie if you asked it?”

He nodded.

“How would you like to make twelve cookies?” I took a small notebook and a pen out of my purse. “I will buy or bake you twelve cookies if the next time he asks you to ask me a question you give him this note.” I looked at the boy. “Will you do that for me?”

He smiled and took the note from my hand.

Lisa waited until the three of us were alone to ask, “What did you do?”

“Nothing. I did write a note pointing out that if a gentleman wants to know something about a lady in order to get a full and complete answer it is always best for him to address her directly himself rather than recruiting messengers.”

“She has a point.” Phoebe agrees.

Once Upon A Christmas Wish: Have You Met The Mountain Man?

“Get in. Get in. Get in!” A deep voice demanded.

I screamed as I was being pulled inside, fighting whoever this stranger was determined I was not going anywhere with him. I clobbered him across the jaw with the mug in my hand. It did little to help. The man growled and yanked me through the door, slamming it closed behind him. I lost my footing and landed on my butt.

As soon as I got my bearings I began sliding away from the stranger. He was tall. Above average in height and well built. I could tell I wouldn't be able to get the upper hand without a weapon.

The man stood with his hands pressed on the back of a dining chair, he was breathing heavily. “There was a bear.” He pointed in the general direction of the trash cans, “A bear. Outside. Bears can be dangerous. It’s okay now. We’re in here. It’s out there.”

“We are.” I said. Standing, I took several steps back. I reached into the pockets of my coat. My right hand found my cell phone. I pulled the phone out of my pocket and held it up. “I know who I am. Who are you?”

“The name’s McKinley.”

“What are you doing in my house?”

“Your house?”

“I rented it for the month. I came here with my things. I am staying here. For the next month this house is mine.” I continued. “Who are you? What are you doing inside this house without my knowledge or permission?”

“I just saved you from a bear.”

“I was slowly backing up to the door to let myself in. If you hadn’t of panicked you would have seen that.”

He looked at me sternly, hazel eyes brightening with anger. “I own this house. If you had read the paperwork I left, you wouldn’t have gone out on to the porch to begin with. The first mistake was yours.” He said as he wiped coffee off his face and neck with one of his many layers of clothing. McKinley, my new landlord, reached out for the stack of papers sitting on the dining table between us. “My note states that a couple of bears usually come through the area just before trash pick-up looking for food. Monday morning is pick-up day. The bears usually move on by Monday afternoon.” He pointed to the page as he read from it, “ ‘It’s best to refrain from outdoor activities from late Sunday afternoon to Monday afternoon.’ Here’s an article from last week’s newspaper reminding residents to be watchful of bears scavenging for food. There is rarely a problem.” He said, raising his eyes from the paperwork and looking squarely at me, “Because we keep an eye out for one another.” It felt like he was looking through me, “You didn’t read any of this did you?” he asked.

“No. Not yet. Now that I'm aware of the problem I will be more careful of bears and keep an eye out for others who might find themselves in an encounter with one.”

“Wolves. You need to watch out for wolves too.”

“Of course.”

“Do you know what to do if you lose power?”

“Bring more wood in from the stack on the porch?”

“There’s a generator in the shed off the mud room.”

A generator? Yikes. “You’re the owner, can’t I just call you to get the generator going?”

“What if there’s a blizzard and I can’t get here right away?” McKinley ran his fingers across his forehead in frustration. “I knew renting this place out was a bad idea. City people have no idea how to survive out here.” He looked at me. “Have you even been camping once in your life?”

“No.”

“Fishing? Hiking?”

“I’ve been known to take really long walks from time to time.”

A low growl rumbled from the back of his throat.

“My life doesn’t call for lots of wilderness survival skills but I can repair a high heel in five minutes or less.”

He looked at me without responding.

“I’m a novelist. My life is writing books, doing public appearances to promote the books as well as attending the occasional black tie event.”

McKinley relaxed a bit. “A novelist huh? I guess that doesn’t leave much time for camping. Have you written anything I might have read?”

“Not unless you’re looking for the man of your dreams. I’m a romance novelist. I write the Book Boyfriends Holiday Romance series? Jess Windstrom.” I said offering a hand.

“Oh. You’re one of those.” He said making a face.

“One of those?”

“One of those writers who give women unrealistic expectations of what a relationship looks like.”

There it was. One of my least favorite statements. I reacted instead of responding. Regrettable but he did barge in and piss all over a perfectly nice morning. “Which is what men who aren’t willing to do the work that is needed to build and maintain a healthy relationship have a habit of saying.”

“Tropical island getaways? Private jets to exotic locations for dinner?”

“Have you read any of my books?”

“I just said I haven't.”

“Have you ever discussed the content of any of my books with anyone who reads them in depth?”

“I’ve never heard of you before today, of course not.”

I continued my retort without listening to McKinley’s response. “If you knew anything about my novels you would know that I don’t write those kinds of stories. There is not a single billionaire, alpha male, or BDSM master in my books. My book boyfriends are regular men with regular jobs. Some are a bit more successful in societal terms, some are in better physical shape, most are a little more handsome, all of them are more willing to go the extra mile for love but that’s it.” I grabbed the papers from his hand. “If you don’t mind I need to read this paperwork.” I said as I flipped through the pages. “I see there's a number to call for more information listed at the top of each page. In some cases several numbers. Instructions for starting and running the generator are here as well. I will call you if I have any questions. Thank you for saving me from the bear who had no interest in me whatsoever. Have a nice day!” I said. I looked at the paperwork and commenced reading ignoring the mountain man entirely. I waited for his brown hair and close trimmed bearded jaw to disappear from my line of sight and breathed a sigh of relief when I heard the front door open and close.

After spending an hour or two thumping around the house, I silently cursed McKinley as I scribbled and typed out a (Just In Case Of Epic Film Worthy Winter Storm) Survival Plan. I taped it in several places around the house and verified I could find all flashlights, candles, and matches easily. I located the generator. Using the paperwork provided as my guide I took a few minutes to learn where everything was practicing the steps I would need to take in order to start the generator before returning to book boyfriend eleven.

When I sat down this time I tried putting the first two book boyfriend elevens together. I got a much loved jr. high school principal who also worked as an interim sheriff. He spent time helping at risk kids when he wasn’t working his day jobs. By the time I got done with him the guy was spread too thin to be anyone’s boyfriend. I had a heroine who was losing patience and questioning her ability to find true love. Let's face it a romance where the main character has self-esteem issues and a love interest who is never around will rarely lead to a happy ending.

I found myself in the silence of a mountainous winter wonderland left alone with my thoughts. They weren’t good ones.

When a prolific writer with a mental block runs into a doozy of a brick wall is it really a block or has she just run out of gas?  A lunch featuring my favorite comfort foods and exercise didn’t help. In the true spirit of writerly procrastination I decided to make a phone call.

 

Lisa didn't sound like her usual self when she answered and happily surrendered the phone to Phoebe right away so I could thank her.

“I knew it was the place for you when I saw pictures of the kitchen Aunt Jess.”

“You chose very well. Are you having fun with your mom?” I asked.

“It’s okay but I still have school for another week or so.”

“Of course. I know you’re a big girl but please make plenty of time for your mom, she misses you so when she’s working.”

“I do.”

“What did you do yesterday?” I asked teasing.

“First Sunday in December.” Phoebe sighed.

“And?”

“Lunch and ice skating at Rockefeller center? It’s our tradition? We’ve been doing it forever.”

I could almost hear her roll her eyes.

“Did Brent fall on the ice again this year?” I asked.

There was a silence.

“Phoebe? Phoebe is everything okay?” The child did not respond. I decided to take another approach. “Can I talk to your mom for a minute before I hang up?”

“Mom, Aunt Jess needs you.”

As soon as Lisa returned to the phone I asked, “What’s going on?”

“What?”

“You don’t sound right and neither does Phoebe. What’s happened?”

“Brent left me. He told me he wanted to end things a few weeks ago but reassured me he wanted to stay through the holidays. He didn’t want to ruin Christmas for Phoebe.”

“Then he changed his mind, that shit.”

“I was hoping he would change his mind about the relationship. He came home last night and said it wasn’t right to keep pretending that we’re happy when we aren’t. He cared for Phoebe and I deeply but he wasn’t in love with me anymore and it was time for him to go. He even suggested since it was still early in the month Phoebe might be okay with the change by the time Christmas arrived. Then he packed his things and left. When Phoebe got home I tried to pretend it was good news and we would have a much better holiday without Brent but Phoebe saw right through me. We’ve been doing the usual things. We’re baking cookies now and watching one of Phoebe’s favorite holiday movies. I took her to lunch and ice skating at Rockefeller Center yesterday but…”

“...it’s really difficult to keep a brave face when your heart is breaking.” I said finishing her sentence.

Lisa’s voice grew distant for a moment. I heard her say, “Go ahead and start your homework, I’ll finishing cleaning up.”

Returning to me she agreed. “It is.”

“I was thinking, there's a small town a short walk from here that looks like a charming place with lots of holiday events, there’s also skiing other fun things to do, why don’t you and Phoebe come up here?”

“For how long?”

“For the holidays. It shouldn't be too difficult to get the two of you here if we work on it together. I can arrange for the plane tickets and transportation. You get your Christmas shopping done, get it boxed up and dropped off for shipping, Phoebe's gifts will probably get here before you and Phoebe do. We can all have a nice holiday."

She paused for a moment. “So much has happened. I want to run it by Phoebe. I don’t want Christmas to be any more difficult for her than it already is.”

“Okay. Call me in the morning and let me know what you two would like to do.”

“I will. Thank you, for looking out for us.”

“You do it for me every day Lisa.” I responded. “You do it for me every day.”

The next morning Lisa confirmed that she and Phoebe would be coming to spend the holidays with me. She said they would like to fly up on the following Saturday if that could be arranged. I spent the morning sitting in the dining room with my coffee making flight reservations. I was excited at the prospect of not spending the holidays alone. I reserved two first class seats for them on a mid-morning flight. I wanted this holiday to be something they would always remember. I found myself feeling hopeful that a new deadline, getting the first three chapters of the next book written by the time they arrived would wake my muse and get book eleven on a slow but steady trek to the next Book Boyfriends Holiday Romance.

Over the next several days I arranged for a rental car much like my own and found better driving directions from the airport to the house for Lisa. While I waited for Lisa’s shipment to arrive I decided to give my current book boyfriend one more try.

This time I took my two book boyfriends and flipped the script. New boyfriend eleven was a small town sheriff who coached at risk kids at the local jr high school in his spare time. He was handsome, quick witted and funny also physically fit and tough enough that the kids he worked with only attempted to try his authority occasionally. Book boyfriend eleven made time for everyone. As so it goes in everyday life, something has to fall through the cracks and for our sheriff it was mealtime. Which is where our heroine comes in. She owns the local diner. One that always seems to be open to him. She has a knack for steering her regular customers to a more varied diet and better nutrition in general keeping high salt and deep fried menu options to a minimum. The two characters’ need to care for others and their love for rich desserts was their common ground.

After a week of planning, shopping, hiking (okay taking long walks), making lists of things to show Lisa and Phoebe and writing, glorious writing, it happened again.

On Friday morning at 10:30 am at location 3-6-5 my beautiful new holiday romance came to a sudden and screeching halt.

 

 

Once Upon A Christmas Wish: Desperately Seeking Book Boyfriend 11

 

Once the book tour was over, I went home and fell into bed sleeping for what felt like an eternity. On the third day I woke up determined to let go of the unusual events that had taken place during my visit to The Naked Ankle.

I always experience a period of readjustment after a book tour. Days seem to stretch out in front of me with few demands on my time when the week before time spent taking a shower or waiting for a car to arrive felt like a vacation. I usually spend the days leading up to Christmas shopping, resting, and enjoying the holiday activities going on around me. I also use that time to begin mapping out my new characters and the basic plot line for the next Book Boyfriend Holiday Romance. It’s not only a great way to get back to a gentler routine, it also gives me a place to start from in January when drafting the next book takes center stage.

All writers have their own way of working, their own rituals or traditions. For me, starting a new project begins with cooking a meal on December 1st. The brunch that results serves two purposes, I do it to thank Lisa for all of her help throughout the year; it's also a "We Survived Another Book Tour" celebration. After the meal has been eaten and we're sitting back with our festive holiday coffees, I retrieve the box. A 10 x 8 wooden work of art with my initials engraved into the top in an elegant script. It has a tiny lock and is varnished in a warm nutmeg finish. The box felt like a bit of an indulgence when I first bought it but considering what is stored inside, the piece has proven to be a worthwhile investment.

You see, ten years ago I wrote down the names, occupations, strengths, and weaknesses of 365 book boyfriends. Discovering the identity of the next book boyfriend is how every new novel begins.

I hand the box to Lisa who shakes it thoroughly and sets it down in the center of the table. I then retrieve my key, unlock the box, and pull out a small folded square of paper. Lisa reads the description of the next book boyfriend out loud. We finish our coffee as I rattle off ideas focusing primarily on the main character and the freshly chosen beau.  I sort out how and where the characters might meet for the first time while Lisa keeps track of where I’m going with the story.

I write the first three chapters of the novel along with any random notes that might be useful down the road. I have always finished this step by December 20th. After I put those initial chapters away I am officially on holiday break. I will not return to the project until Christmas and New Year's festivities are over and Phoebe has returned to school.

I dived in without hesitation this year determined not to let the stock boy at The Naked Ankle’s prediction become a reality. Once I was left alone in my office with Book Boyfriend 11 and my thoughts, things began going downhill quickly.

The deeply loved jr. high school principal didn’t make it further than the prologue. 365 words.

For the first time in a decade, I had to find another candidate. The sheriff with the heart of gold who fostered at-risk kids didn’t do much more for me than give me a tension headache. I pushed through, working on his story throughout the morning and once again crapped out at 365. Chapter 3- paragraph 6 – word 5 to be exact.

I didn't want to panic but clearly something was wrong. This was a new kind of problem for me. New kinds of problems need new solutions. I wasn’t about to give permission to the memory of what happened in that bookstore to live in my head and pitch a tent. A stranger’s prediction was not going to control my future. I called Lisa into my office and asked her to make some last minute changes to my plans for the coming month.

Twenty-four hours later I found myself driving very slowly through freshly fallen snow as a trail of cars followed close behind.

“Turn right...” The automated voice instructed.

I flipped my turn signal and looked to the right, finding nothing but a ditch. “That can’t be right.” I turned the signal off and continued forward.

“...in 2.2 miles.”

“Now you tell me.” I looked at the odometer attempting to anticipate what 2.2 miles down the road might look like as a long string of cars, trucks, and all terrain vehicles passed me. Many rolled their windows down screaming insults, profanities, or to quietly flip me the bird as they passed by. Although I couldn’t make out their exact words, the content of their messages was clear. I quietly wished them a nice day and wobbly table legs for the remainder of their holiday season.

“Turn right here.” My GPS instructed.

“Finally.” I said turning down a narrow road.

“Continue West for 2.6 miles.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

I continued driving until I ran out of road. Sitting before me was a beautiful two story log home.

“You have reached your destination.”

“Nice.”

The drive and entry were well lit. I parked in front of the steps and pulled up the information Lisa had sent to my phone.

Mr. McKinley will be meeting you at three pm.

I looked at the remnants of the setting sun and quickly darkening sky. It was definitely after 3, I didn't see any other cars on the property.

It’s after 4:30 and I’ve only just arrived. No one else is here. I texted back before looking around until I spotted something taped to the front door.

I may have found something, just a sec. I climbed out of my all wheel drive rental and retrieved the note.

I waited as long as I could, had to get back home. The key is under the mat. There’s information on the dining table. Read It. Follow All Instructions. I’ll stop by in the morning to see how things are going and answer your questions. If you have an emergency dial 9-1-1 they’ll patch you through. -- B. McKinley

“Patch me through to who?”

My phone beeped at me. Jess?

I’m okay Lisa. The owner left a note. I found the key.

I went inside and stood in one spot while my insides adjusted. The entrance led to a great room with a beautifully decorated tree. The central feature of the room, a large stone fireplace, stood on the far wall next to the stairs. A long couch, perfect for relaxing, sat across from the hearth. Large windows took up most of a wall directly opposite of the Christmas tree. Despite the success of the books, I still had a habit of living below my means. Wow. This was something. Morning coffee at home would never be the same after this. I turned on lights, continuing my exploration.

There was a large rustic table between the great room and the kitchen. The kitchen was large and roomy. I could tell it had been designed with someone who loved cooking in mind. I found myself anticipating freshly cooked breakfasts and dinners. Some homemade bread. Perhaps even a batch or two of Christmas cookies.

I found a small bathroom located between the kitchen and a mud room with a door leading to a deck that ran parallel to the wall of windows in the great room. I dropped my bag on my way back through the great room, running upstairs like a child on Christmas morning.

There was a den at the top of the stairs with a low ceiling and a large screen something on the wall that felt dark and crowded. I closed the door on my way out and continued exploring. There were two bedrooms with a shared bathroom between them. They were inviting but not what I was looking for. I continued exploring until I found the master bedroom.

It was a suite. The large bed sat opposite a smaller, more intimate looking stone fireplace. The private bath included both a shower and a soaking tub. There was a comfortable chair near the bed for reading. An antique writing desk with a matching chair had been placed next to a large window that I suspected would display another amazing view. I spinned around the room throwing myself on to the bed, wondering why I always insisted on spending the holidays at home.

“If I had a coffee maker in here and some snacks I wouldn’t have to leave this room at all.”

I checked my pockets looking for my phone and called Lisa. “I’m calling about the house.”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for setting this trip up. It’s perfect.”

“Don’t thank me. All those book boyfriends you keep writing about are the ones who made it possible.”

“You found the house and took care of the details.”

There was a pause before Lisa answered. “I was kind of nervous about it actually. Phoebe insisted it was the house you needed.”

“She was right. Is she home?”

“No, she’s sleeping over at her friend Amy’s.”

“Sleep overs. I didn’t realize Phoebe was old enough for those.”

“They grow up so fast.” Lisa said.

“I hope you’re enjoying some time to yourself.”

“Brent will be home in a few minutes.”

“Have a nice evening. Thank Phoebe for me.”

“I will.”

Morning came early. I was ready for it. The sky was just beginning to show signs of the coming dawn when I began my morning stretch. I got my exercise routine over with quickly. By the time the coffee maker was releasing its final drops of goodness I was standing in the kitchen with my coat thrown over my workout clothes, snow boots covering my bare feet, holding a waiting mug in hand.

After pouring the coffee, I grabbed the house key (just in case), took my coffee out to the porch, and proceeded to drink in all the mountainous beauty while I savored my first morning cup.

I noticed something moving in my peripheral vision. A bear had wandered up the slope and was sitting a few feet from the porch. I watched him for a few moments. He looked up and saw me. The bear took a step closer to the porch. I quietly took two steps closer to the door. I waited several seconds and took two more steps in the direction of the door. It was not long before the bear took an interest in a pair of trash cans next to the garage and began to wander off. I decided it was best to go back inside while the bear was otherwise occupied. Before I could turn for the door a pair of hands grabbed me from behind and started pulling.

Once Upon A Christmas Wish : The Message

Our arrival at the food pantry and the book fair could not have been more perfect. Many children had already chosen their books. They were finding mischief and distracting their parents as the adults made their own selections from the tables in the section marked: Grown-ups. Taking inventory of the situation, I noticed game and coloring tables were still being set up as well as the cookie decorating stations. Handing my bags to Lisa, I stepped on to the circular rug in the center of the room with my elephant friend in hand.

“Good afternoon. Welcome to the Night Before Christmas book fair. How is everyone today?” I asked.

Some of the adults in the back smiled as they recognized me. Most of the children stared at me with a blank expression. I focused on the kids. “It’s a lovely autumn day, school is out for Thanksgiving, and there’s lots for everyone to do here. You can do better than that.” I smiled at them. “Who has a book today?”

A young girl, smallish, who Jess guessed was about six years old, raised her hand.

“Hello. Would you please hold up your book for me?”

The child complied.

“That’s a lovely book. Who else has a book?” I asked as my eyes searched the room. Slowly more and more children shared what they had found, I complimented them on their choices. “My name is Jess. I also have a book with me. “It’s called, “Stand Back!” Said The Elephant. “I’m Going To Sneeze!” It was written by Patricia Thomas, and Illustrated by Wallace Tripp. I would love to share it with you all, would that be alright?”

The small sea of heads nodded. Thank goodness. It was a chance to feel more comfortable if only for a few minutes, I loved it.

“I’m going to sit down here on this rug. If you all would come and join me we’ll have a story.”

When I finished reading one of the ladies working the book fair took my place announcing the game and coloring tables along with the cookie decorating stations were all ready and available for use. I thanked her for allowing me to interrupt. I thanked all the volunteers for their help. Wishing them a happy holiday I returned to Lisa and reached out for my bags.

“Feel better?” She asked.

“You know I do.” I said. “Thanks for not making a fuss. Time?”

“To go. You need to be at The Naked Ankle in ten.”

We made it to The Naked Ankle with moments to spare. Once I felt settled, I sent Lisa to the restaurant she mentioned earlier to make my apologies and have a break herself. These tours could be fun at times but they took a lot out of me. I didn’t have a daughter at home, missing me and bursting to talk. Lisa did. She was a single mother with an energetic eight year old at home named Phoebe. The lunch break would give them time to talk. I had done enough of these appearances to know I can handle the first hour or so on my own. Lisa knew how long I could meet with readers and sign books before I started looking for a bottle of water or anything of that nature.

I was thirty minutes into the signing before I noticed him. A man stood in the back of the store, he appeared to be in his early to mid twenties. His hair was dark blonde and cropped close like someone in the military. He was dressed in jeans and a Rolling Stones t-shirt. There was nothing remarkable about him. The cut of his clothing appeared slightly off leaving the impression it was out of date. He was not in line for a signature nor did he appear to be shopping. He seemed content to stand against the back wall and stare. I felt like I was not only being monitored or watched but studied. Actions were being noted, details being put to memory. The man never moved from the spot until I found him standing in the aisle blocking my route to the center of the store on my return from the Ladies’ Room a couple of hours later.

“Nice place.” He said.

“It is. They had a good turn out considering they planned their grand opening so close to Thanksgiving.” I agreed.

“I think it’s you. You really draw a crowd. It’s something I noticed about you, you know how to draw a crowd.”

“It’s the excitement of the new book really.” I responded, taking a step around him.

He shifted his stance blocking my exit. “No.” He said. “I think it’s you. Jess Windstrom. Beautiful, talented, a woman who cares for others, who likes kids and does great interviews." He looked in my eyes and said, "You never tell them everything do you?”

I did not answer.

“Do you?”

I did not move.

“If you only knew how much it hurts your mother.”

I looked at the stranger squarely. “I think you must have me confused with someone else, my mother’s dead. She’s been gone for a long time.”

“Is everything all right here?” Lisa asked as she rounded the corner.

“Yes. Edward Miller.” The young man said offering his hand. “I know, knew Jess’ mother.”

I looked at Mr. Miller and raised a brow, clearly he had a secret or two himself.

“I don’t know Jess very well.” He said, he studied me for a moment before turning back to Lisa. “She probably doesn’t even remember me. I saw her name on the posters in the window the other day and I wanted to stop by and say Hello.” Mr. Miller looked at me. “It was nice talkin’ to ya. Have a good day now.”

Lisa and I watched him leave the store.

“Who was that?” She asked.

“I don’t know, apparently he knew my mother.”

“You don’t look good.” Lisa took my hand and guided me to a chair in one of the store’s many reading areas. “Come sit down.”

“I’ve been sitting for hours.”

“A few more minutes won’t be that difficult then will it? I’ll come back for you when I have things wrapped up here.”

I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes enjoying the solitude.

“It’s time.”

The voice was coming from somewhere behind my right shoulder. “The only way out is through.”

I turned my head to find an employee squatting next to me, he continued speaking as he restocked the shelves he was facing with books.

“It’s time Jess. It’s your turn to get your Christmas wish. There's only one way to your happy ending. You have to go through.”

“Through what?”

“You have to write through your pain. You have to tell everyone, the truth.”

“I have no Christmas wish.”

“You did. It still sits in the box where you left it.”

“That was a long time ago.” I countered.

“An interesting thing about Christmas wishes, when a Christmas wish doesn’t come true it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it or you aren’t worthy or even that you aren’t ready. Sometimes we don’t get our wishes simply because it isn’t time yet.”

Good lord. I had to be hallucinating. Lisa was right, I should have eaten a full meal when I had the chance. How do I make it go away? If I let it say what it needs to it should leave. “What would I need to do in order to get my wish?”

“You're a talented writer. A real storyteller. The next story you write, the next time you take pen in hand you must write your story. The story of a love lost, grief, loneliness, a Christmas wish made and of the hope that could not be found. That and everything that comes after it. All the way to the day you are living when you get to what you think is the end of the story. When all has been lost that is when your wish will be found.”

“Tell my story…”

“Yes the truth. All of it. No cheating allowed.”

“If I don’t tell my story I don’t get my wish. I understand. Thanks for the info.”

He leaned over and whispered, “If you don’t tell your story you'll never finish writing another book.”

“Sorry?”

“You may start as many books as you like but you will never get past the numbers 3-6-5.”

365 pages. A little shorter than my usual book length but I can write a slightly shorter book. I thought. Then I thought about my life. What was working in it and what wasn’t. The people I care about and enjoy spending time with. A new question emerged. “What if I decide I don’t want my Christmas wish? What if too much time has passed? What if it’s just too late for those things?”

“You do have the option to forfeit your wish. There is something you're forgetting. Something older than the Christmas wish itself. A promise you made to someone you loved. If you choose to forfeit the wish you're also breaking a promise. Breaking promises isn’t your style kiddo.”

There was a roll deep within the pit of my stomach. I turned away from the stranger hoping I had not paled at his words, that nothing had reflected my uneasiness.

“All done.” Lisa announced as she approached.

Thank goodness.

“Ready to go?” She asked.

“I believe I am.” I looked at the man stocking shelves before turning back to Lisa. “I think it’s time we met the next book boyfriend.”