When A Cat Reads...

“Mom, what are you doing?” Dobby asks after entering the den.

“Listening to music. I am thinking.”

“What is that crap anyway?” Dobby asks.

“Excuse me?”

“This is country music.”

Dobby sits quietly and listens for a moment. “Sorry Mom. I'm just not feeling it.”

“I didn't turn on the music for your benefit.”

Dobby looks at Mom. Correction, Dobby glares at Mom. Clears his throat. “I thought we established years ago that you do everything for my benefit. I am, after all, the CAT.”

Mom looks at Dobby, raising an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

Dobby blinks. “Seriously,” he says, stating the most basic of universal truths.

“Dobby, sweetie...I do a lot for you because I love you not because the world revolves around you.”

“Your world revolves around me.”

“No it doesn't”

“Yes. It does.”

“Nope. Sorry it doesn't.”

Dobby jumps up on Mom's lap. Looks into her eyes. “I know you are waaay older than I am. You're alone. It's only natural that you live to take care of me.” Dobby puts a paw on Mom's back to pat her when she starts to cry in admission that everything Dobby said is true. She's not crying...Dobby waits...still no crying.. “Mom? Don't you need to cry or something?”

Mom looks at Dobby. “No. I don't need to cry. Do you need me to cry?” Mom asks.

“No.”

“That's good. I think we need to have a talk.”

“Did you find trouble again? Did you at least try to negotiate for community service?”

“No.”

“Mom, you are never going to learn to behave yourself if you keep paying a fine every time you disturb the peace, expose something indecently. You just don't miss the money like other people do.”

“Dobby. Just let me talk, okay?”

Dobby jumps down on to the floor and waits for Mom.

“You can read can't you?” Mom asks.

Holy crap! When did she find that out? I can't lie to Mom, I just gave her a speech about lying the other day. Dobby looks down at the floor, looking up at Mom he says. “Yes. I can read.”

“When did this happen? How long have you been reading? How did you learn?” Mom asks, smiling.

I can't tell her. I can't look at her and say, “Mom I traded all the characters you created including your dragon so I could learn to read.” There is no way this can end well. What would Secret Agent Cat do? I'm waaay smarter than Mom is, it just might work.

“It's a 'special project' I have been working on. So I can't really share the details. It's classified.”

“It's classified? Uh huh.” Mom says in her 'it's hard for me not to get mad now' tone.

Why did she have to ask? I can't tell her what really happened. EVER.

** High pitched giggling is heard coming from behind the Magic Door**

Mom looks at the Magic Door then at Dobby. “Dobby, what did you do?”

Dobby looks away before Mom catches his eye.