Tinkletoes Takes Command

“So Dobby what should we talk about tonight?” Mom asks.

Silence.

“Dobby, kitty?”

“No blog tonight Mom.” Dobby says entering the computer room.

“What? What do you mean 'No Blog'? We have been writing these posts for almost a year now.”

“Not tonight.” Dobby says.

Mom looks at Dobby in confusion.

“Oh kitty...are you sick? Does Mama's baby have a hairball?”

Dobby turns his head to talk to Tinkletoes. The cat looks up. Way up. “She doesn't understand. She is already in writer's mode. We have to wake her up. Pull her back into reality.”

“I've got this.” Tinkletoes enters the room dropping a large bag on the floor and stands next to Dobby. He is completely decked out in fatigues and is wearing more weapons than a zombie hunter. Bending at the waist, Tinkletoes puts each hand on an armrest of Mom's Big Writing Chair turning it away from the monitor and facing him. Tinkletoes leans in and says, “Now ma'am, I need to you to focus on me. Stay calm and listen to what I am saying to you closely.”

Mom looks back Tinkletoes.

“THE PERIMETER HAS BEEN BREACHED! LISTEN TO ME OR YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!” Tinkletoes yells. Mom jumps in her seat at the noise. Unfortunately, Tinkletoes doesn't back out of her space in time. Mom nails Tinkletoes in the scrotum with her knees and bumps heads with him. She catches the mercenary on the bottom of his chin with the top of her head on the way up, yelling “OW.” into his left ear on the way back down. Tinkletoes falls to his knees, cradling his most valuable parts and drooling just a little.

“Oh my gosh! Tinkletoes? Are you okay? I am so sorry.” Mom says jumping out of her chair and getting down on the floor to check on the wounded soldier.

Tinkletoes does not respond. Mom looks at Dobby. “I have to do something. I'll go get some ice. Where should it go first? That's the real question.” Mom gets up and leaves the room talking to herself.

Taking advantage of the opportunity Dobby moves closer to Tinkletoes. Being a cat, he climbs up on Tinkletoes and stands on his ribcage. “Do you really think Mom needs all of this? She took you down really fast.”

“Look at how close I got before she did anything. We must continue.” Tinkletoes answers breathing through the pain. He has stopped drooling. “I have been working with TP on this. He's my second in command.”

“Second in Command? How did he get that job?” Dobby asks, insulted he was not asked to be second.

“TP kicked my ass first.” Tinkletoes answers, breathing through his pain just like a woman practicing lamaze.

“Dobby! Get down! Tinkletoes can't breathe when you stand on his ribs kitty.” Dobby jumps down and leaves the room. “I just don't know where I should put this first.” An arm reaches up and grabs the bag of frozen peas from her hand. Tinkletoes puts the bag where it still hurts.

Seeing that there is little she can do at this point Mom sits back down in her Big Writing Chair. “So what was this meeting about anyway?”