Monitor Man

Dobby runs into High Command, (the room with the computer in it) “Mom Mo-om!”

“Yes kitty.”

“What are you doing?” Dobby asks.

Writer Lady switches windows. “Nothing. Just starting this week's post.”

Dobby jumps on the desk and peers at the monitor, “Really? What are you writing about?”

“Nothing.” Writer Lady says, covering the screen with her hand.

“Let me see, Mom.”

“No.”

“Come on. Move your hand!” Dobby says nipping her hand.

“Ouch!” Writer Lady yells, moving her hand. “That hurt!”

“Don't hide things and you won't get bit.” Dobby says.

Writer Lady looks at her war wound. “I'm a grown woman. I can do what I want. Did you have to draw blood?”

Dobby looks at Writer Lady's hand. “It's nothing. A mosquito wouldn't want such a tiny meal.”

“It hurts.”

“You're only saying that because you didn't want me to see what you were looking at. What is it shoes? Dresses?” Dobby says looking at the monitor. The small window Writer Lady had pulled up was covering a picture that filled the screen behind it. “Oh. It's just that guy you like without a shirt on.” Dobby takes a closer look. “Mom I hate to tell you this but your eyesight is going. These pictures are of three different men.”

“No kitty my eyes are fine.” Writer Lady says, looking up at the monitor.

Dobby looks at Writer Lady, looks back at the screen, looks back at Writer Lady. “Mom...are you okay?”

“I'm just fine kitty.”

“Mom?” Dobby asks, Writer Lady continues to gaze at the monitor adoringly.

“What do you think kitty? Which one?”

“Which one, what?” Dobby asks.

“Which one would you pick? TP says he can get me one of them. I get to keep him too.”

“Mom. I really don't think this is a good idea.” Dobby says.

“What do you mean it's not a good idea?” Writer Lady says, leaning in close, her eyes are a strange reddish purple color her voice has deepened considerably.

Dobby's eyes widen and the ginger tabby takes a few steps back. “Nothing Mom. I can't wait to see how TP does this.”

Dobby exits High Command quickly and quietly leaving Writer Lady gazing at her dreamy future. He searches the house looking for TP.

“TP. TP. TP!” Dobby calls. On his second pass by the utility closet, Dobby hears something.

“Shhhh! We are not here.” TP whispers.

“I hate to break it to you little guy but we are.” A distinctly deep voice says.

“No one can know.” TP says. “Not yet. It's a surprise.”

“You told me this wasn't going to take long. If you don't let me out of the closet soon I'm stealing that invisible copter of yours. Because guys like me don't hang out in closets.”

“TP?” Dobby calls walking into the utility closet. The closet is dark and TP refuses to give up his location until he is sandwiched between the floor and one of Dobby's paws.

A snap is heard and the closet is illuminated with light. “Over here.” TP says in a muffled voice.

Dobby looks at his right front paw. “There you are.”

“Shhhhh! Talk softly. We're hiding.” The man on Writer Lady's monitor says.

Dobby looks at monitor man. “Do you know who you are hiding from?”

Monitor man looks up, thinks for a minute. “No, we didn't get that far.”

“You're hiding from me.” Dobby says.

“Oooops.”

Dobby looks back down at TP. “Take him home. He doesn't belong here. She can't keep him.”

“Of course she can't keep me.” Monitor man comments. “This was a just a special appearance. I was going to do a favor for my new friend here.”

The closet gets very quiet.

“You didn't tell him what you told Mom did you?” Dobby asks TP.

“Mom? I came all this way to see a cat?” Monitor man asks.

“No. Mom is a person like you.” Dobby answers.

“How can a human be a cat's mother?” Monitor man asks.

“Here is another one that can't understand adoption. Where do these guys come from?” Dobby asks TP.

“Silly human.” TP giggles.

“Stop.” Dobby says pushing on the faerie like a squeaky toy. “This isn't funny.”

“You have to put him back.”

“But I promised.” TP says. “Magical creatures have to keep their promises.”

“What happens if he doesn't want to cooperate?” Dobby asks.

“Yeah...what if I don't cooperate?” Monitor man says.

“Then I didn't break my promise.” TP answers.

“Okay, let's do that.” Dobby says.

“Dobby kitty, come here. It's time to eat.” Writer Lady calls from the kitchen.

“It's Mom! Get him out of here!” Dobby orders, walking over to the door on the opposite wall, opening it a bit and peeping through the slit to see how close Writer Lady is.

“That's her?” Monitor man asks, he creeps up behind Dobby to take a peek.

Tinkletoes' Offering

“Yeah, yeah, yeah we all love the little,” Tinkletoes looks down at Furnatche as the dragon wags excitedly, “um, guy. Now it's my turn. You are my best friend's mom and you paid for my...um anyway, you're important to me and stuff. Here you go.” Tinkletoes thrusts a long narrow box at Writer Lady.

“Thank you...” Writer Lady says opening the box. She looks at the contents, looks up at Tinkletoes and looks down at the gift again.

“It's a light saber. You were so nice to bring me the one I special ordered home with you from Comicon. It was pristine. Not so much as a scratch on it. I still don't know how you managed that one.”

“Plenty of room. No weed whacker.” TP giggles.

“Since it was obvious you knew how to take care of something so precious, I thought you should have one of your own. So here it is. I designed it myself.” Tinkletoes says, taking the light saber out of the box and handing it to Writer Lady. Peter relieved her of the empty box.

“It's pink.” Writer Lady says.

“Yeah. Titty pink.” Tinkletoes confirms. “You know because you're a girl and well girls have boobs.

“Never underestimate the power of the booobies.” TP says fluttering behind Tinkletoes' head. Cones have sprung from TP's chest and the nipple rings have returned.

“How does it feel in your hand? Is the base of it too heavy for you?” Tinkletoes asks.

“There is a kitten on the front of it.” Writer Lady points out.

“Yeah. That's Hello Kitty.” Tinkletoes says.

“Does Hello Kitty belong on a weapon?” Writer Lady asks.

“When you're a girl it does.” Tinkletoes answers, reaching over Writer Lady's hands he turns the light saber on. “It has sound effects.” The unmistakable whooshing sound of a light saber being powered up is heard. “It also plays this. A theme song if you want to make a big entrance.” Tinkletoes pushes another button and “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benatar starts playing.

Dobby looks up at Tinkletoes shaking his head.

“Girls like to make an entrance. Well, that's what I heard.” Tinkletoes says in defense of his logic.

“This is wonderful gift, thank you Tinkletoes. I'll think of you every time I look at it.”

“In the back of the closet.” Dobby snickers.

“Oh wait...” Tinkletoes says pulling out a display rack. It's neon pink. “I got this for you too. It wouldn't fit in the box.”

“Well isn't that something.”

“It's a rack for you to put the saber on.” Tinkletoes says. “I'll put it right here on the wall for you. I put the hardware up already and everything. All we have to do put the rack on the wall. Sit the light saber right there on the rack.” Tinkletoes gets everything set up. “There it is Writer's Lady saber in it's new home. Right in front of you all day everyday.”

Tinkletoes bends over, plugs something in and flips a switch on the rack on his way up. The neon pink rack starts to glow.

“Amazing.” Writer Lady says looking at Dobby with pleading eyes.

“Don't forget that other thing, man.” Dobby reminds Tinkletoes.

“Oh Yeah,” he answers reaching into his pocket he pulls out a silver oval placard. “There's a story about this final gift. We agreed these kids' Aunt should tell you about it.”

Aunt Purdy walks over from the far side of the room.

“A few weeks ago when we were planning this surprise for you, I kept calling this room your office. Dobby told me you hate to call this room your office. Because offices are synonymous with work and you don't work much in this room, mostly you have fun. So we decided to name your room for you. There were several ideas:”

Mom's Work Room (Dobby says), The Playroom (Dylan says), The Study (Paige says), The Imagination Station (Peter says), Nirvana (Aunt Purdy) and The West Wing (Tinkletoes says) I had lots but I got outvoted every time, except one.

“Mr. Tinkletoes would you do the honor of showing Writer Lady the name of the room?” Aunt Purdy says.

Tinkletoes turns over the beautifully etched placard that reads. HIGH COMMAND.

Faeries Do It With SPARKLE.

“Hi kids! It's time to have some fun!” TP is now wearing a pink and lavender matching motorcycle pants and vest. The vest is open and he has piercings. His heavy boots match. The heels light up and theme music (“I'm Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred) radiates from them with each step TP takes.

“Maybe I should take the kids...” Aunt Purdy says.

“Oh no. Dear lady don't go now. This is all about fashion. You must stay.”

“What Aunt Purdy means to say is...” Writer Lady tries to explain.

“Hey, TP” Tinkletoes calls, “Lose the nipple rings, close the vest and turn off the damn music coming out of your boots. It's distracting.”

“Must I? This is an outfit that just screams theme song. Don't you think?” TP asks Writer Lady.

“Yes, it does, but could you save it for another time?”

“Ooo-kay.” TP answers with disappointment. “No dancing either?”

“No music. What's the point in dancing?” Tinkletoes asks.

“I'll just show you the gift.” TP flutters up to Writer's Lady's face and says “See?”

“Oh yes.” Writer Lady says not knowing what she is supposed to be looking at. “That is a lovely arm   TP.    I think you should keep your arm though. You might need it.”

“It isn't showing yet. Silly human.” TP giggles. Waving his left hand over his right bicep a tattoo appears.

Writer Lady reads the simple stylized writing. “Faeries Do It With SPARKLE.”

“He got a tattoo. That's the gift. It's not even her name. I told you my gift was better.” Tinkletoes whispers to Dobby, “You only need all this flash if you know your gift sucks.”

“I didn't get a tattoo. I'm giving Writer Lady a tattoo. A Faerie tattoo.” TP says fluttering back down to rest on the Control button.

“Oh, TP that's so nice of you but I don't want a tattoo. Tattoos hurt I don't like pain. I have trouble making decisions too. I am a tattoo artist's worst nightmare.”

“That's why I am giving you a faerie tattoo. Faerie Tattoos are very special. First it won't hurt to get the tattoo. You won't feel anything my dear lady.”

“He's right. Once you've had that magic 12^th drink. You won't feel anything.” Tinkletoes chimed in.

“And you can move the tattoo. Put it where you like. Move it at will. Change the size, shape of the tattoo. Change the image.  You can also make it invisible.”

“A tattoo like that will look great no matter what.” Dobby says.

“Every woman's dream.” Aunt Purdy points out.

“To do this we must first decide on what you want the initial tattoo to look like. It is like the “default” setting on this computer thing you use.”

Writer Lady pales not knowing what to say.

“How about 'Cupcake Artist'?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Dobby Forever.” Dobby says.

“Cookies are love.” Aunt Purdy says.

Writer Lady feels a light tap on her arm. Peter, Paige and Dylan are all standing by the arm of the Big Butt Writer's Chair. “What about a picture of Furnatche?” Dylan asks.

“That's a thought.” Writer Lady says.

“Mom, you should do that. You would be the woman with the dragon tattoo.”  Dobby points out.

“She kicks ass!” Dylan announces proudly.

“Dy-lan!” Aunt Purdy says.

Paige covers Dylan's mouth. “We have no idea where he gets these things.” Paige says as she and Peter look at Aunt Purdy radiating innocence.

“After this birthday party is over we are going to have a long talk about appropriate and inappropriate language. So be ready.” Aunt Purdy tells her charges.

“O-Kay.” The children answer and lower their heads in shame for a few seconds.

“TP could I have a double sided tattoo?”

“Of course.”

“Come here then.” TP flutters up to Writer Lady. She whispers in TP's ear her idea.

“Wonderful. Wonderful idea my dear Writer Lady.”

Writer Lady is wearing a sleeveless shirt. TP flies over to her right arm and places the tattoo on her bicep (or where her bicep would be if she exercised more).

“Done!” TP announces proudly.

Writer Lady looks down at her arm. “That is very nice. It didn't hurt at all either.”

Tinkletoes moans in disgust, so hoping she would feel pain, much like the pain he was still in as a result of the assault earlier in the evening.

“Okay Mom. Let's see.” Dobby says.

“The initial tattoo is double sided. One side are my initials, literally. See?”

                                 WL

“The other side is a picture of Furnatche.” Writer Lady explains.

“That way your dragon can be with you all the time. Good idea Mom.” Dobby says.

Looking at everyone in the room, Writer Lady says, “I like to think of him as our dragon.” 

Snapping his fingers, TP gives everyone in the room a flute of milk.  

  "A toast!  To our dragon!" Writer Lady says raising her glass.

 "To Furnatche!" 

 

 

Happy Birthday Writer Lady!

TP giggles for a moment under his breath. The faerie looks down, looking back up timidly he raises his arms and in a slight voice he whispers, “Surprise?”

Writer Lady looks up at the room around her. “For Me?” Her eyes start to tear up. “You redecorated the computer room for me?” She asks looking down at the faerie. TP nods enthusiastically.

Rubbing against Writer Lady's legs, Dobby says, “We all helped Mom.”

“Of course you did.” Writer Lady says between sniffles. She makes her way across the room hugging everyone including an uncooperative Dobby.

“Mom, stop. You're choking me.”

“Sorry kitty.”

“I never thought for a moment when other writers talked about the characters they wrote about coming to life that they actually would come to life.” Mom gazes adoringly at Aunt Purdy, Peter, Paige, Dylan and Furnatche (a dragon-- no less). But to have you here with me. Sharing my home and my life. It's just stupendously incredibly wonderful. Thank you so much.”

“It's hard to believe she's a writer isn't it with a combination of words like that? Stupendously incredibly wonderful. That's why she hasn't been published. That right there.” Dobby mutters to Tinkletoes.

Tinkletoes is hunched over, still periodically gasping. His breathing becomes more labored as he makes an attempt to stand up...

The walls are painted a neutral color. Neither gray, nor white. Blue nor beige. The perfect blank canvas.

“What is this color called?” Writer Lady asks. “I love it.”

“Whateveruneed.” Peter, Paige and Dylan answer in unison.

“What?” Writer Lady asks, looking for confirmation of what she just heard.

“No one could agree on what the best color for the walls would be. We had a mess.” Aunt Purdy explains. “TP brought a super blending stick over from Faerie. He told the stick what type of color we needed, we put all the paint together in one big bucket, TP stirred for five full circles. This is the color the stick gave us.”

Paige picked up the story from there. “After that mess we decided we would each tackle a different part of the room. Aunt Purdy chose the lighting, Peter chose the desk, I organized the storage, Dylan and Furnatche picked out the chair. TP said his gift was a surprise so did Tinkletoes. Dobby moved your magical Door of Opportunity from the other house in here to this room and got you out of the house so we could work on the room. Aunt Purdy insisted we leave any wall art and window treatments to you because that was something personal a lady should do for herself.”

“It's lovely.” Writer Lady said, gazing at everything in awe. “Just lovely.” Writer Lady ran her fingers along the wooden writing table with its simple yet elegant lines. Writer Lady felt a strong tug on the left leg of her shorts.

“Try out the chair.” Dylan says. Dylan and Furnatche both look up her eagerly.

“That chair is too beautiful! It can't be for me.” Writer Lady says.

“It sure is.” Dylan answers. Furnatche pants in agreement.

Walking over to the chair Writer Lady sits down in the well padded Captain's chair with an extra wide seat. “It's very comfortable.”

Dobby jumps up on the chair next to Mom. “An extra wide seat. I can sit with you this way.”

“No Dobby. It's for when she gets a wide load in the back later.” Dylan says.

Everyone looks at Dylan in surprise.

“TP told me Tinkletoes said to get the big butt chair for when Writer Lady gets a wide load.” The three year old boy's face grows pale realizing he has said something wrong.

Writer Lady looks at Dylan, “I hope that never happens. Now I have the right chair if it does. Thank you Dylan and Furnatche.”

Dylan relaxes. “You haven't seen the best part.” Running up behind the chair, Dylan leans forward and whispers in her ear. “It spins.”

After Writer Lady, Dylan, Furnatche, Peter and Paige all tested out the new chair. TP appeared on the writing table and found a comfortable spot on the Control key of the wireless keyboard. Tinkletoes finally managing to stand upright, leans with his back against a mostly dry wall behind Writer Lady's chair. Dobby sits next to Tinkletoes to watch the rest of the festivities.

“I don't know what else to say TP. I am so very sorry I hit you earlier. Can you ever forgive me?”

“Of course, my dear Writer Lady, it's not like I am permanently damaged.” TP gazes markedly below Tinkletoes' waist.

Tinkletoes looks down at Dobby, “You know he's only doing this because my gift is way better than his.”

“I am the one who is sorry.” TP says looking down at his feet.

“Why?” Writer Lady asks.

“My gift. I did not do anything in the room like the others did.”

“That's okay.”

“I have brought you something very special from my world. I hope you like it.”

“I'm sure I will.”

“Would you close your eyes for three seconds then open them?” TP asks.

“Sure but what happens in three seconds?”

TP says, “I'm going to change out of this clown suit.”

“Okay.” Writer Lady covers her eyes. “One...two...”

“This is so stupid. I can't believe she's playing along.” Tinkletoes grumbles.

“THREE.”

Writer Lady opens her eyes, Aunt Purdy works furiously to cover the children's eyes.