Saturday, September 21, 2013

Tinkletoes' Offering


“Yeah, yeah, yeah we all love the little,” Tinkletoes looks down at Furnatche as the dragon wags excitedly, “um, guy. Now it's my turn. You are my best friend's mom and you paid for my...um anyway, you're important to me and stuff. Here you go.” Tinkletoes thrusts a long narrow box at Writer Lady.
“Thank you...” Writer Lady says opening the box. She looks at the contents, looks up at Tinkletoes and looks down at the gift again.
“It's a light saber. You were so nice to bring me the one I special ordered home with you from Comicon. It was pristine. Not so much as a scratch on it. I still don't know how you managed that one.”
“Plenty of room. No weed whacker.” TP giggles.
“Since it was obvious you knew how to take care of something so precious, I thought you should have one of your own. So here it is. I designed it myself.” Tinkletoes says, taking the light saber out of the box and handing it to Writer Lady. Peter relieved her of the empty box.
“It's pink.” Writer Lady says.
“Yeah. Titty pink.” Tinkletoes confirms. “You know because you're a girl and well girls have boobs.
“Never underestimate the power of the booobies.” TP says fluttering behind Tinkletoes' head. Cones have sprung from TP's chest and the nipple rings have returned.
“How does it feel in your hand? Is the base of it too heavy for you?” Tinkletoes asks.
“There is a kitten on the front of it.” Writer Lady points out.
“Yeah. That's Hello Kitty.” Tinkletoes says.
“Does Hello Kitty belong on a weapon?” Writer Lady asks.
“When you're a girl it does.” Tinkletoes answers, reaching over Writer Lady's hands he turns the light saber on. “It has sound effects.” The unmistakable whooshing sound of a light saber being powered up is heard. “It also plays this. A theme song if you want to make a big entrance.” Tinkletoes pushes another button and “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” by Pat Benatar starts playing.
Dobby looks up at Tinkletoes shaking his head.
“Girls like to make an entrance. Well, that's what I heard.” Tinkletoes says in defense of his logic.
“This is wonderful gift, thank you Tinkletoes. I'll think of you every time I look at it.”
“In the back of the closet.” Dobby snickers.
“Oh wait...” Tinkletoes says pulling out a display rack. It's neon pink. “I got this for you too. It wouldn't fit in the box.”
“Well isn't that something.”
“It's a rack for you to put the saber on.” Tinkletoes says. “I'll put it right here on the wall for you. I put the hardware up already and everything. All we have to do put the rack on the wall. Sit the light saber right there on the rack.” Tinkletoes gets everything set up. “There it is Writer's Lady saber in it's new home. Right in front of you all day everyday.”
Tinkletoes bends over, plugs something in and flips a switch on the rack on his way up. The neon pink rack starts to glow.
“Amazing.” Writer Lady says looking at Dobby with pleading eyes.
“Don't forget that other thing, man.” Dobby reminds Tinkletoes.
“Oh Yeah,” he answers reaching into his pocket he pulls out a silver oval placard. “There's a story about this final gift. We agreed these kids' Aunt should tell you about it.”
Aunt Purdy walks over from the far side of the room.
“A few weeks ago when we were planning this surprise for you, I kept calling this room your office. Dobby told me you hate to call this room your office. Because offices are synonymous with work and you don't work much in this room, mostly you have fun. So we decided to name your room for you. There were several ideas:”
Mom's Work Room (Dobby says), The Playroom (Dylan says), The Study (Paige says), The Imagination Station (Peter says), Nirvana (Aunt Purdy) and The West Wing (Tinkletoes says) I had lots but I got outvoted every time, except one.
“Mr. Tinkletoes would you do the honor of showing Writer Lady the name of the room?” Aunt Purdy says.
Tinkletoes turns over the beautifully etched placard that reads. HIGH COMMAND.

2 comments:

C. S. Jennings said...

That is very, very funny. Thanks for a good laugh when I needed it most.

HR Apostos said...

Thank you! May your laughter continue.

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