Big Noise

Tinkletoes takes a step back and holds up his hands.

“I'm putting alarms all over this thing. So don't even think about taking this back after I go to bed.” Writer Lady says as she takes the ammo bag into the house.

“She always makes me leave before she goes to bed. What does she think, I'm going to pick the lock or something?” Tinkletoes mutters to himself. Turning to Carp he says, “I told you that woman has a mean streak.”

“You shot up her shed and her lawn mower. What did you think she was going to do console you with sweet words and fresh cookies?” Carp answers.

“Sweet words. From her?” Tinkletoes says. “Some warm cookies would have been nice though.”

A window opens, “A working lawn mower would be nice too. But I don't have that. Do I?” Writer Lady yells and slams the window back down.

“Fix the shed. I personally would replace both the shed and the lawn mower. Then she'll give you your stuff back.” Carp says.

“It's the Fourth of July. After 4 p.m. Nothing is open. Besides I just used the last of my savings on a new...”

“Another light saber? You have five. What are you going to do with six?”

“This is a custom design. My best one yet. I can sell it some day. Besides the display doesn't look right. Three on one side, two on the other. It's crooked.”

“You don't have to buy a sixth light saber to fix that. Take the number three saber and center it underneath both of the rows with two sabers in them. Or you can just leave it like it is. Asymmetrical designs can catch the eye more quickly and be more visually interesting.”

“What are you a decorator now?” Tinkletoes asks.

“No, but I've hired a few.” Carp answers.

“For a minute I thought we were going to have to go on a scavenger hunt...for your manhood.” Tinkletoes says laughing. “I'd be happy if we could just find some duct tape.”

A roll of duct tape sails past Tinkletoes' head. A second one flies directly at him. He catches it, pulling it away from his face he says “thanks,” looking up to see Writer Lady glaring at him.

“That's only temporary until you replace the shed,” she says slamming the back door.

“I don't know why she's so mad. It was my Fourth of July that got ruined.”

The natural light in the yard grows darker. Looking up at the gray clouds moving in, “It looks like it's going to rain. Let's get these holes covered.” Carp says.

“Cover the outside of the shed first, then inside. That way we can keep going even if it starts raining.” Tinkletoes finishes.

Both men cross the yard duct tape and utility knives in hand to begin their work. The work goes quickly. The storm moves in more quickly. The air grows heavy, heat lightning fills the sky. The wind picks up making working with tape and knife difficult.

“It's too windy out here. Let's work inside.” Tinkletoes calls to Carp. Both men go into the metal shed closing the door behind them as lightning strikes in the sky over their heads. It begins to rain. There is another sound mixed in with the rain, wind and lightning.

“Do you hear something?” Carp asks.

Tinkletoes stops and listens. “There's a beeping noise.” Tinkletoes says and continues working.

A bright red light starts blinking in a darkened corner on the opposite side of the shed. It grows brighter with every blink.

“Um...Tink. Did you forget something?” Carp asks.

Tinkletoes looks at Carp and waits for more information.

“That light doesn't go to some explosive device or something does it?”

“No. I only have grenades. I have my eye on a rocket launcher...”

“What is that blinking then?” Carp asks.

“I don't know. Go look.” Tinkletoes says.

“You're the veteran. You go look.”

“I got thrown out of the munitions program before they got to that part. You borrow one jeep and a rocket launcher they just get all bent out of shape.” Tinkletoes says shaking his head. “Some people just don't get it. I learn by doing.”

“Who's going to check this thing out?” Carp asks.

Both men stare at the blinking light.

“BOOM! You're dead!” TP screams out, giggling when both men hit the deck covering their heads. “Silly humans.” TP continues giggling.

“Damn it TP!” Tinkletoes yells.

“No bad words. Shame. Shame.” TP says shaking his finger. “The Fourth of July is for making big noises. TP made a big noise.”

“TP's going to be a little spot of goo on the bottom of my boot if he does it again.” Tinkletoes says sitting up.

“Tinkletoes made a big mess. He's cranky.” TP says looking at Carp.

“That happens when someone takes all of your toys away.” Carp says winking at TP.

“What do you want TP?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Writer Lady sends a message. Bad storms. When there is lightning in the sky metal sheds are not safe. She says to come inside.”

“Did she run out of people to yell at?” Tinkletoes asks.

“No. Writer Lady is concerned for your safety. You must come inside.”

Both men stand up. Walking across the shed and opening the door Tinkletoes, Carp, and TP look outside. The sky is dark as night, illuminated fully by large bursts of lightning. Both men take hold of the door to keep it from blowing open completely. Closing the door and stepping further inside Tinkletoes says, “Writer Lady's worried about this? This is nothing. We're perfectly safe.”