How Did That Happen?

“What?” Writer Lady asks.

TP pops back in. “Monitor Man is single and on the prowl. Grrrr...” The faerie snaps his fingers making a reel to reel recorder appear. With another snap, the faerie turns it on.

“So Monitor Man what kind of woman has caught your eye?  She must be something to draw your attention from Incredibly Hot Woman. Which rising starlet is it?  Give us a hint.”  The interviewer says.

“I won't give you any names.  I want to respect her privacy.   Besides, I don't even know if she would like a guy like me.” Monitor Man grins. “I will tell you this she's bright, funny and independent.  Oh and kind of spunky.”

“You hear that and you immediately assume it's me.” Writer Lady says looking at Tinkletoes.

Tinkletoes looks at the ground.

“I am so tired of having to say these things. Have you seen the women he goes out with? He's not looking at someone like me. Besides there are basics to this crap. With a man like him finding a woman is probably like buying a house or something. Location, location, location. Think about what we have here.” Writer Lady says holding out her hands like they are a pair of scales. “We have gorgeous women all over the place right in his own backyard or me two thousand miles away. Coming for me, well, that doesn't make any sense does it? It's like flying from San Francisco to New York because you want a piece of pizza.”

“Um...some people might do that.”

“Besides, we were in the same space fighting a war together. Did he try to pick me up after? No. He went home to his girlfriend. If you were going to embark on a new romance wouldn't you be more prone to do it right after you, I don't know, didn't die? All the adrenaline and stuff. Well...wouldn't you?”

No response.

“I don't know what you're so worried about, but it's fine Tinkletoes. Everything is fine. He wasn't talking about me. He's not coming. Dobby is not going anywhere. Now may I please have my yard back?”

“Well, yeah.”

Writer Lady walks back to the house. Tinkletoes starts smiling when her back is turned.

“Hey.” Tinkletoes calls after her.

She turns around.

“You don't have coffee made do you because I'd like some.”

Writer Lady mutters and heads back to the house.

“Could you bring it to me?” Tinkletoes calls out. “I'm kind of busy here.”

Writer Lady goes back into the house slamming the door behind her.

“I don't understand why she's always mad.” Tinkletoes says looking at TP fluttering around his shoulder. “Hormones maybe?”

Writer Lady stomps back into the kitchen sees the pot full of coffee, growling at it she goes into her bedroom to get dressed. Remembering Tinkletoes told her to get dressed she screams. She heads back into the living room and flops down on the couch in her robe. Dobby walks over to her, slowly. He jumps up and sits down next to her on the couch.

“Do you believe that? Tearing up my yard because he thinks Monitor Man is coming over. Asking me to bring him coffee. Thinking he can tell me when I should get dressed. This is my house. I live here. He can't tell me what to do.” Writer Lady says some very bad words.

“Mom.”

Writer Lady keeps muttering.

“Mom.” Dobby repeats.

“Thinking he can tell me when to get dressed, no, no, no. I don't think so.”

“MOM!”

“What kitty?”

“I know you're really mad and this doesn't make sense to you right now. Maybe instead of being mad at Tinkletoes you should think about why he might be acting this way.”

“That's simple. He's an Ass! That's why he's acting this way. A big one.”

“That's not very nice Mom.”

“I don't feel like being nice right now kitty.” Writer Lady says, looking around the living room. It's nearly ten. I should cook something. See if one of the boys will take Tinkletoes a cup of coffee. I'll pour it but I'm not delivering it.”

“I'm sure Peter will take it out there.” Dobby answers.

“Peter likes Chocolate Chip Pancakes?”

“Yes.”

“I'll make sure Chocolate Chip Pancakes find their way to the table this morning.”

Writer Lady reaches out and scratches the ginger tabby on his head. “Thanks, kitty. I love you. Do me a favor? Make sure everyone knows that I'm wearing my robe. All Day Long. Because I'm a grown-up and I can.” Writer Lady heads to the kitchen muttering.

Several minutes later Writer Lady feels a tug on her robe just above her knee.

“Writer Lady?” A harder tug. “Writer Lady?”

Writer Lady looks down to see Dylan pulling on her robe. “What is it sweetie? I'm cooking.” She says turning her attention back to the stove.

“I have a question.”

“What's your question?”

“Where'd that man come from?”

“What man?” She asks still cooking.

“The tall one running around in his underwear.”

Writer Lady stops what she's doing. She looks at Dylan and looks to where his finger is pointing. Monitor Man is standing in her bonus room. In a loin cloth? No that must be Mural Man. “Dylan sweetie, that's Mural Man remember? The talking poster that moves.”

“No it isn't.”

“Yes it is.” Writer Lady confirms.

“No it isn't.” Dylan argues.

“What makes you say that?”

“He isn't stuck to the wall.” Dylan takes Writer Lady by the hand and leads her into the bonus room. “See?”

The man in the loincloth has found a comfortable spot and is sitting on a chair holding on to a thick piece of rope. Playing tug-of-war with a baby dragon.