The Show Down Goin' Down Right Now In This Here Ghost Town

“Hey!”  Tinkletoes yells from the street, “Are you gonna turn on the music or what?”

Dobby stops whittling and looks up taking in his surroundings.  Everyone is looking at him expectantly.  “Looks like someone's got a hankerin' to see some blood,” he says.  Slowly Dobby puts his knife and branch away because he's a cat.  They take their own sweet time.   He pulls Writer Lady's cell phone out of the other pocket.  Setting the volume as high as he can Dobby looks up at Shredded TP.  The faerie gives him a nod.  The ginger tabby taps the phone's screen several times and...

I just met you and this is cra-zy but here's my number so call me maybe, pours through the deserted town and along the street.

Everyone looks at Dobby.  Dobby taps the screen quickly hoping there is a five second rule for embarrassing music faux pas among other guys.

Hold me now.   It's hard for me to say I'm sorry.

“Oooops.”  Dobby says tapping at the screen even more furiously.

Couldn't stand to be kept away, for the day, from your body.  Peter Cetera sings.

“Come on man!  This is embarrassing!”  Tinkletoes calls from the street.

“Do you have to do that?”  Mural Man asks.

“It's like he's all thumbs.”  Tinkletoes says.

“He's a cat.”   Mural Man points out.   “No thumbs.”

“Yeah, well you don't have any nuts.”  Tinkletoes says to Mural Man.

“Maybe I don't, but only because the paper had trouble bending that way.    Besides, my tushy is legendary which totally makes up for it.”

The love song is abruptly extinguished.  A familiar sound fills the air, the famous but unidentifiable shootout music of the spaghetti westerns.  The beating of the drum, the eerie whistling, da, da, da, da, daaa, wa, wa, waaaa...  Dobby looks up at Shredded TP and nods.   The faerie flutters over to Tinkletoes the ends of his villainous mustache bouncing along innocuously as he flies.

“Ready?”  Shredded TP asks.

“Ready.”  Tinkletoes says, never looking away from his target.

Shredded TP flies to Mural Man who is also standing at the ready the edges of his paper body clicking in the breeze like a playing card clicking in the spokes of a bicycle wheel.   Mural Man nods and Shredded TP takes his leave.

“We don't have to do this Tinkletoes,” Mural Man says.  “We're both men of honor. It's not too late to come to some sort of agreement.”

Tinkletoes grins.  “I knew you'd see things my way.  Bullets have gotta be scary to someone made out of paper.”

“When I said come to an agreement I meant that we would each compromise a little.”

“Nope.”  Tinkletoes says.  “I don't do that either Paper Boy.”

“Is there anything you will do?”  Mural Man asks.

Tinkletoes looks up and thinks for a minute.   “Killing.  I really like killin' things.  Cupcakes are good too.”

Mural Man shifts his stance uncomfortably.

“Did you just pale?”  Tinkletoes asks.  “It's hard to tell with you bein' paper and all.”

“Maybe.”  Mural Man says.   He adjusts his stance, pushing his hat back just a little so Tinkletoes can see his eyes.  “You know about guns and killing, I don't. You're gonna win.  Everybody here knows that.”

“Well, yeah.”  Tinkletoes says grinning.

“Before you do your thing and I am...”

“gone?”  Tinkletoes finishes.

“May I have a few parting words?”  Mural Man asks.

“How many do you want?”

“Not too many.”

“Okay but no beggin' or prayin'.  If you start doin' either I'll shoot.”   Tinkletoes says.

“No, none of that.”  Mural Man agrees.

“Go ahead then.”

“I know that you're a...” Mural Man finds himself searching for words.  He looks at Dobby, Shredded TP and Carp they gesture for him to keep talking. “strong man.  Used to doing your own thing your own way.  You like to keep things simple.  Women are anything but simple.  Good looks are great, availability, proximity and interest are all good but in the end the man who gets and keeps his woman is the one who is loving, caring, considerate and can do this.”  Dobby tosses Mural Man the cell phone and he taps the screen footage of Monitor Man fills the area surrounding them.  Scene upon scene plays depicting Monitor Man's character offering sincere, heartfelt apologies.  In each scene, the apology is accepted he is embraced by someone who looks a lot like Writer Lady.  Did Shredded TP modify the footage to suggest that Tinkletoes' apology would be forgiven, stressing that the self-proclaimed mercenary has nothing to fear?   TP wouldn't do that, would he?  “Do you really want to give this up because you couldn't say I'm sorry?”   The footage stops and is replaced by a single picture of Writer Lady holding a plate up of freshly baked and decorated fancy cupcakes. The buttercream, fluffy and piled high.  Chocolate curls are tucked into the frosting shimmering with an ethereal glow.   A breeze travels through smelling just like fresh cupcakes.

Tinkletoes makes his decision pulling out his six shooter and firing at Mural Man.  The bullet misses leaving a slight tear along Mural Man's side.  “Okay.” Tinkletoes says.  “I'll do it.”

“You shot me.”  Mural Man says, his hand covering the tear.

“I had to get back at you for the cut you gave me.  Besides, it's just a surface wound.” Tinkletoes says walking up the street to where Mural Man is standing, verifying that he is alright.

“There really isn't much to my surface.”  He points out.

“I always have the last word.”  Tinkletoes says.  “You're a good sport, thanks.”

“You shot me.”  Mural Man repeats.

“Yeah.  Shooting the messenger is kinda fun.”

Several hours later all have returned to Writer Lady's house.  The front yard is cleaned up and safe to all living things again that might cross it.  With the help of an invisibility spell, Dobby, Carp, and TP are able to witness a thing they never thought they would see.  Tinkletoes, the self-proclaimed mercenary and man's man, stands at the door facing Writer Lady (He's still in shootout garb because you know shootout garb is cool stuff.   It doesn't matter who you are.) hat in hand, quietly muttering his apologies.

“Here it is.”  Dobby says.

“Did he just ask for her forgiveness too?”  Carp asks.

“He did!”  TP says giggling.  “Silly man.”

“He really likes Mom's cupcakes.”   Dobby explains.

Writer Lady nods and turns to go back into the house holding the door open for Tinkletoes.  After Writer Lady disappears inside the house Tinkletoes turns and holds up a sign to the others that reads:

Thank guys.

She forgave me.

There are cupcakes too.

Squee...

Because sometimes even real men Squee.