When Feeding A Dragon...

“Are you boys finished?”   Writer Lady asks.

Tinkletoes looks around the kitchen, all participants are nodding.   “Yes.  They are.”

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes.

“We are.”  He says looking away.

“You're just showing your ignorance.   You all should be ashamed of yourselves.”  Writer Lady says as she monitors the progress of the cooking noodles.

Tinkletoes takes the few steps across the kitchen to stand beside her.  “No one meant anything by that.  We were just cutting up.  Acting stupid.”

“It's not appropriate.”

Tinkletoes stands in one spot looking at Writer Lady and waiting for more information.

“There are children here.  We're supposed to be examples for them.  Teach them what appropriate behavior looks like.”

“The children are fictional characters, it doesn't count.”

“Of course it counts.  It always counts.”

“What about?”

“It always counts.”

Tinkletoes clears his throat in an effort to ask another question.

“Dobby counts too.  He always counts because I have to live with him and he gets away with way too much all ready.”  Writer Lady says, answering Tinkletoes' question before it's asked.

“Cut him some slack.  He's a good cat.”  Tinkletoes says.   “What's he done that's so bad?”

“He contracted a mercenary without my permission obligating me to provide baked goods as payment for an indefinite period of time, for starters.”

“You mean me.”

She looks at Tinkletoes.

“Those baked goods kicked butt.   I um...we brought happiness to a lot of people with those cupcakes.  Besides, look at what Dobby and I meeting led to.   All of this.”

There are farting noises followed by the inevitable stench that accompanies the farts and the sound of breaking glass.

“Silly human.”  TP giggles near the source of the sound of breaking glass.

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes.

“Okay, I'll say something.”  Turning away from the stove and facing the group he says, “The cow jokes were fun but always remember that Nebraska is great place.   If zombies ever attack go there first.”

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes, “What?” she mouths.

Tinkletoes continues, “There are lots of cows and food factories.  The zombies can be drawn in by the cows and then locked into the food factories.  Eventually they will run out of stuff to eat, turn on each other, and...No More Zombies.”   He looks at Writer Lady.  She's not impressed.   “Never underestimate the power of Nebraska.”  He says.  “It could save us all.”

Writer Lady turns back to her pot of noodles and rolls her eyes.

“If you do that too much your eyes will stay that way.”  Tinkletoes whispers in her ear.  “Caught ya.”

“The noodles are done!”  She announces, cheers are heard throughout the room. “Let me get you a bowl Diomedes and you can eat.”  Writer Lady says.

“Mi'lady,”  Diomedes says, “I was wondering if I might break my fast in the bathroom.”

“You want to eat in the bathroom?”

“My last endeavor into food consumption was quite the disaster.  I thought, well...Bugsy and I discussed it and we decided that it might be a more proactive move if I eat in the shower.”

“If you get sick again it will be a lot easier to clean up.”  She agrees.

“Bugsy wants you to know that he will be able to tell if the medicine is going to work after the first serving.  He can also tell you when I have had enough medicine and everything is neutralized.”

“That's wonderful news.”   Writer Lady says.   “If you would care to retire to the bathroom I'll bring your first serving.”

“Oh yes.   That is wonderful.  Most delicious.”  Diomedes' exclamations can be heard in the living room.  Everyone listens and waits.   Tinkletoes crosses the living room to Writer Lady.  “What do you think?”  He asks.

Writer Lady looks around quietly admiring the much improved view.

“Is the carpeting new?”  She asks.

“TP did his best.  He couldn't save everything.”  Tinkletoes says.

“That's a different television too.”   She says.

Tinkletoes nods.

“The walls look just as fresh and bright as they were to begin with.  The woodwork is prettier than it was before.  The shutters look like they don't have a speck of dust on them.”  She says.

“Faerie cleaning techniques.”

“It is wonderful.   I am most grateful to the cleaning crew.”

“Thank you.”  Tinkletoes says with a brief nod of his head.

In a puff of smoke TP appears floating next to Tinkletoes and Writer Lady.  “She meant us, silly man.”  TP says.

“Yeah, you didn't do any work.”   House admonishes.

“Thank you TP.  Thank you House.”  Writer Lady says.

TP takes a bow.

“We women have to stick together.”  House responds.  “I feel so much better. Tons lighter.  Dry carpeting can make all the difference.”

“I told you darling you're as beautiful as ever.”  Mural Man's sweet whisper is heard as it runs faintly along the walls.

“Oh Mur...”  House gushes.

Dylan enters the room just as Mural Man whispers his words of love.  “Gross!”  He exclaims.

“You say it's gross now but one day it's going to be your turn.”   Writer Lady teases.

“No Way!”

Writer Lady looks at Dylan solemnly and quietly nods.

“Seriously?”   He asks.

She nods again.

“I'm not looking forward to that day!”   The four year old declares.

“Did you need something?”  Writer Lady asks.

“Peter wants you to know that Ray and Carp are almost done cleaning off the counters.  The dishes are stacked up and ready to be washed too.”

“Thank you Dylan.  I'll be right in.”  Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes.  “It's time for me to get back in the kitchen, washing the dishes is my job.”

“Can't House do that?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“She shouldn't have to do everything.”  Writer Lady looks around at the immaculately clean living room.  “House has been through so much today.”

“So have you.”  Tinkletoes says.

Dobby enters the living room from the side closest to Writer Lady.  The ginger tabby has been keeping watch over Diomedes. “Diomedes and Bugsy both agree that the noodles are working.  But Bugsy says that it will work better the faster we feed Diomedes.”

“Flooding the system.” Tinkletoes says nodding. “We can flush anything bad out that isn't responding right away.”

“Can his digestive system take that?” Writer Lady asks.

“He's a dragon, if anything can take it Diomedes can.  Let's get everyone together.  I have an idea.”