Tinkletoes' New Mission

“Everything all right in here?”  Tinkletoes asks calling just inside the doorway.

Writer Lady turns to look at him, “Everything is fine” she answers and turns back smiling at Mural Man and House.

Tinkletoes looks in the same direction.   “Hi” he says looking at Mural Man.

“Hi.”  Mural Man says pulling back from House.  He steps to her side and holds her close.

“Making up for lost time, huh? How long were you gone?   Ten minutes?” Tinkletoes asks.

“About that.”  Mural Man answers.

“Good to see you back.”

“It's good to be back.”  Mural Man answers looking at House.

“Can I have a word with you?”  Tinkletoes asks looking at Writer Lady.  She joins Tinkletoes in the laundry room.  “Are you okay?”  He asks.

“Yeah.  Why wouldn't I be?”

“I heard you talking about dead husbands, jealousy, Mural Man, there might have been something about Monitor Man being the man of your dreams.”

“How did you hear that?  You were supposed to be fixing the sink.”

“You remember earlier when I told you about the sharp eyes and keen memory? I can hear pretty good too.”

“Pretty good?”

“It's not a registered super power.  Not yet.  It will be.”

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes and taps her foot.  Slowly.

“I might have had Dylan listen at the door for a second.”  He admits.
“For a second?”

“Maybe a little longer.”

“How long?”

“The whole time.”  Tinkletoes answers.

“What part of 'I'm not talking girl talk in front of you' don't you understand?” Writer Lady asks.  “That conversation was private.  It wasn't meant for other ears.”

“Are you okay?”

“I'm okay.  For the record, I didn't say that Monitor Man was the man of my dreams I said that he was a man that I could only dream of being with.”

“Isn't that the same thing?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“Yes...no.   I don't know!”  Writer Lady looks around at her wet kitchen.  “This place has been drenched.  So have you.”  She leaves the room returning with a mop.   “Here!  Hold this.”  She leaves again, returning with a clean, dry towel.  “Take this!”  Writer Lady and Tinkletoes trade.  He dries off as she mops the water up off of the floor.  He studies her as she works.   “What!”  She says on her way out of the room.

“What, what?”

“You're staring at me.”  She says.

“No.   I was watching you.”

“Did I miss anything in front of the stove?”

“No.”

“Stop looking at me.  It's weird.”

Tinkletoes turns to dry off noticing his reflection in the window.  “It's the whole 'wet' look isn't it?  I'm too sexy.  You can't take it.”

There is a silence.   And then...

“You are too sexy for me.”   Writer Lady confesses, her back to Tinkletoes. “I can't take it anymore.”

She turns to face him then crosses the room quickly, a woman with a purpose and because it's not very far either.   “I don't think I can control myself any longer.” She says, handing Tinkletoes the mop. “Don't say anything.  I want to remember you just like this.”  She says and leaves the room.

Dobby enters as she is leaving.

“Females.”  Tinkletoes says.  He has draped the towel over his shoulder and is slowly mopping the floor.

“Mom is a simple woman.”

Tinkletoes looks at Dobby.

“You spied on her.  It made her mad.  She isn't going to let you have an ego building moment when she's mad.”

“So she left me holding the mop.”

“You have been temporarily demoted Commander.”

“What does a guy have to do to get promoted again?”

“Mom says that men underestimate how sexy they look while cleaning.”

Tinkletoes looks around the room, “In a self-cleaning house?”   He asks and continues mopping.   He shakes his head as he works.   “No.  I'm the man.  I have to do things my way.  She'll call me Commander on my terms.”  Tinkletoes says.  He rests the mop against the cabinet before preparing to leave the room slipping on a puddle of water and landing on his back.  He doesn't move.

“Tink?”  Dobby calls.

The kittens respond to Dobby's call running into the kitchen then down Tinkletoes' face and chest.  Spots and Smudge stop to have a wrestling match on his stomach.   The self-proclaimed mercenary does not move until they run across his most delicate parts--claws extended.  His body convulses quickly bringing Tinkletoes up to a seated position.

“Are you okay?”  Dobby asks.

“I'm okay.”

“Does he need help?”  Dylan asks.  The tow headed boy is standing in the entry, a game controller is in his hand.

“I've got it.”  He says standing up.   “And I know how to become Commander again.”

Dobby, Dylan, and the kittens look at Tinkletoes waiting for the big announcement.

“I'm going to become the Commander-In-Chief then she has to call me Commander.”

House's groan can be heard from the bonus room.  “I told you the ape would ruin it.   I knew this was coming.  I could smell the stupidity from here.”

“House darling...you are supposed to be nice.”  Mural Man says.

“Nice to you.  I have no trouble being nice to you.”  She purrs.

“What would be nice for me is if you apologized.”  Mural Man says.

“Sorry.”  House says half-heartedly(?) no it wasn't half.  It was quarter.  Quarter-heartedly.

“Silly humans doing funny things.”  TP sings flying into the kitchen.

“It's not funny.”  Tinkletoes says.

“No it's not.”  Carp says following TP.  “Do you know who the Commander-In-Chief of the United States is?”

“Whoever's at the top of the chain of command?”   He asks.

“The President.”  Carp says.

“I'm going to get that job and then Writer Lady will call me Commander again.”

“There are better ways to do this.”  Carp sings.

“She would call you Mr. President.”  Dobby says.

“Not Commander?”

“No.”

“But I would be the guy in charge?”

“Yes.”

“I'll change it to Commander when I get the job.”   Tinkletoes announces.  “Where do I enlist?”