The Bear In The Room

“I can't believe it. I can't believe it.” One voice calls from the crowd.

“It's Monitor Man!” Another pixie squeals.

The crowd of pixies turn away from the podium to face Tinkletoes and Monitor Man.

“I Love You”, “He's so Enchanting” and “Monitor Man Sparkles!” can be heard throughout the room.

“Are those...pixies?” Monitor Man asks.

Tinkletoes nods and whispers. “Yeah pixies and they love you.” Tinkletoes waves and smiles. “We're gonna talk to them. I'll do the talking. Do whatever I tell you.”

Monitor Man looks at Tinkletoes and begins to protest. Tinkletoes turns to Monitor Man and lowers his voice. “Let me put this to you another way. Do what I say or I will hurt you. Physically.”

Monitor Man looks Tinkletoes in the eyes and says, “I think I can take it.”

“You're under contract right?” Tinkletoes asks quietly. “A little bird told me that you're scheduled to be on camera a lot this year. I wonder if your directors, producers, your agents are going to like it if something really bad happens to your pretty face. You need to ask yourself if you can afford a series of lawsuits because reconstructive surgery can take a long time to recover from. How long is it going to take before you start getting the really good roles again?”

“First of all, you don't scare me.” Monitor Man says calmly scrolling through his phone. “My calendar is full. I have a new project that I would like to start next year. I need this year's money for that. I can't do anything that requires a lot of press time...”

“This is an...” Tinkletoes says.

“appearance” Dobby says. “This is just an appearance.”

“Smiling and taking pictures with a lot of tiny high voiced fans.” Tinkletoes adds guiding Monitor Man into the kitchen and behind the podium. “I told you that Monitor Man and I were buds.” Tinkletoes announces. He is standing next to Monitor Man and has his arm draped around the actor's shoulder. “I have one more thing to share about my pending um...enlistment. Be reassured that you will be in good hands and stuff because Monitor Man is going to be with me the whole time. He's gonna be Vice President. Tell the entire magical world that Tinkletoes and Monitor Man are taking over the White House.”

Flashes go off amongst high pitched squeals of delight and rapid chatter.

Monitor Man turns and stares at Tinkletoes. “What did you just say?” He asks.

“Just nod and smile.” Tinkletoes says grinning. “Nod and smile.”

TP floats on the air between the self-proclaimed mercenary and the actor. “Silly Humans.” He giggles as a flash goes off memorializing the historical moment for all.

Carp looks away from the commotion in the kitchen when his phone vibrates, pulling it out of his pocket he reads the display. He scrolls, reads a little more, smiles and starts tapping away. “This is going to be so much fun.” He sings quietly to himself as he makes his way down the hall and into High Command.

Writer Lady hears the door to High Command open and close behind her. “I'm writing. This had better be good.” She says to her visitor without turning away from the monitor.

“It's fate. Fate's a good reason.” Carp says.

“What's happened?” Writer Lady asks turning around to find Carp butted up against the door scrolling through his phone at a furious pace.

“I knew it. Everything has shifted.” Carp mutters.

“What?”

“I knew this was a sign.”

“What is going on Carp?”

Carp holds his phone up to the light and mutters. “Ha ha! That's it! That's the stuff!”

“Carp!”

“It's Monitor Man. He's returned.” Carp says looking at Writer Lady.

“What?”

“Monitor Man...that incredibly pretty, talented, sexy man with the sweetest butt on either side of the Mississippi? He's here.”

Writer Lady smiles. “'That's nice. Did he come for a visit?” She asks.

“He came here for you.”

“Excuse me?”

“He came here for you.” Carp says. “You my dear are going to be swept away to somewhere romantic. Somewhere beautiful. Somewhere exotic. Or maybe just his place.” Carp takes Writer Lady by the hand and yanks her out of the Big Writing Chair. “Move your ass girl. It's time to pack.”

Writer Lady rights herself, “Wait a sec. Did Monitor Man say that he came here for me?”

“He showed up and he's yummy. We're running with it.” Carp says pulling on her hand.

“Where have I heard that before.” Writer Lady says dropping Carp's hand and sitting back down.

“Why else would he be here?” Carp asks. “Let's go! Your clothes are terrible. There's probably going to have to be shopping.”

Writer Lady doesn't move.

“He wouldn't have had to come all of this way again if you had just kissed him the last time that you saw him.”

“He said that he was seeing somebody.” Writer Lady argues.

“Girl you have got to learn to read people better. If you are standing in front of someone and talking to them you can say that you're seeing them. It doesn't make things permanent.”

“Do you have any idea how underhanded, conniving and slutty you sound right now?”

“Too Alexis Carrington?”

“Yes.”

“I checked all of my sources and they say that everything has shifted and now is the time for you and Monitor Man. It's fated.”

“If it's 'fated' then everything will fall into place whether I do anything or not. I will not get in between a couple. I don't do those things.”

“Don't worry I will.” Carp says.

“You won't either.” Writer Lady says.

“I don't know why you're so worried.”

“I have morals.” She says.

“Monitor Man dumped that girlfriend months ago.”

“What about the one that came after her?” Writer Lady asks.

“I checked with my sources there really isn't anyone special right now.” Carp says.

Writer Lady glares at Carp.

“It's true.” He says as he crosses his fingers behind his back.

“I'm not sure I believe you.”

“Come with me and find out. Please?”

Writer Lady doesn't move. “I don't need to—Fate remember?”

“Fate isn't asking you to do anything...just cooperate.” Carp says.

“I do want to say 'Hello'” Writer Lady says rising from her chair.

“Are you going to wear that?”