Late Night Conversations

Writer Lady looks at Monitor Man, her eyes growing wide.   She presses her lips together indicating that it wasn't her who pointed this detail out.   Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady holding her gaze for several seconds.

“I thought that it would be a nice way to spend more time with Writer Lady.”  He turns facing TP, House, and Mural Man again.  “I only did what Tinkletoes told me to do because it gave me the opportunity that I was looking...”  Monitor Man holds up one hand and modifies his words, “I was hoping for.”

“Tinkletoes opened the door.”  Mural Man says.

“I just chose to walk through it.”   Monitor Man says.

“That's your argument,” House says.  “In other words, it's okay to do something that other people want you to do as long as there is some sort of pay off for you?”   She asks.

“Care—ful.”   TP sings.  “It's a set up.”  The faerie warns giggling.

Monitor Man takes his time answering.  “No.  It is about making a conscious decision whether you want to do something or not.  Not blindly following along. In this case, I followed orders because I knew...”  Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady and says,  “what I wanted.”

Writer Lady smiles gently and looks away.

“Yeah.  Yeah.”   House says sarcastically rolling her eyes.  She looks at Mural Man and says, “I'm done here.”

“It looks like it's time to go.”   Mural Man announces.  “It was nice meeting you.” He says looking at Monitor Man.

“It was nice meeting you too.”   Monitor Man says.  “Don't forget that we're getting together soon.”

House glares at Mural Man.

“I'm not sure that's going to be possible.”  Mural Man says.

“Make your own choice.”  Monitor Man says.

Mural Man, House, and TP make their way towards the door.

“She's got to sleep some time.”   Monitor Man whispers to Mural Man as he slides past Monitor Man's side of the bed.

“I heard that!”   House exclaims.

“Good.”   Monitor Man counters.  “That woman?  She's terrible.”  He says looking at Writer Lady when they are alone again.  “Is she always like that?”

“She's not the nicest but she also isn't a woman.   Not really.”

“She um...”

“No.  House is the house.”

Monitor Man raises an eyebrow.

“House is this house.  It's kind of a long story.”

“I'm not tired.”  Monitor Man says, positioning his pillow against the headboard and leaning back.   “Give me the highlights.”

“You remember the Ninja Zombie War?”  Writer Lady asks.

Monitor Man nods.

“House made her presence known the same day I went to see you.  She took all of Dobby's toys and wouldn't give them back because he wasn't picking them up like she told him to.  Over the previous weeks, I had spent a lot of time complaining that I couldn't keep up with everything and kept saying, 'This house doesn't clean itself.'   TP changed that.  He made the house a living breathing entity that could hear, see, have thoughts, emotions...”

“and clean itself.”  Monitor Man says finishing her sentence.

“Yes.   Skipping forward, during the Ninja Zombie War, Carp developed a man crush on you, he decided that you and I were supposed to be together.  How a man crush becomes the object of their affection's dating service, I don't know but somehow he did.  When I didn't return home from the war hand in hand with you, Carp was crushed.”

“How did you feel?”   Monitor Man asks.

“TP put a mural of you up on my bedroom wall to make Carp feel a little better and to pick on me a little bit too.  According to Carp I ruined everything.”

Monitor Man looks at Writer Lady and listens closely.

“House took one look at Mural Man and fell in love.  He seemed to like her too so TP created a mural of her choosing, that way they could interact on some level.”

“You didn't answer my question.”  Monitor Man says.

“To answer your question, House hasn't always been polite to the rest of us but she adores Mural Man.  Lately she has gotten a little bit cranky with him too.  I think that there might be too many of us.”

“What does a house feel like when it's too full?”  He asks.

“I don't know...bloated?  House knows that Carp had plans and Mural Man looks just like you.  You are a reminder that Mural Man was not created for her.  She feels threatened pretty easily.”

“Mural Man was for you?”  He asks.

“For Carp.  To get to enjoy his fantasy that his vision for us came true.”

“You never tried to take him away from House?”

“A picture of a man?  He's made out of paper.  What am I going to do with a man made out paper?”

“Stand next to him and take lots of pictures?”  Monitor Man asks.

“I prefer a real man.”

Monitor Man starts to open his mouth.  Writer Lady puts a finger to his lips to stop him.  “A human one.”  She says lowering her hand.

“You're kind of limiting yourself aren't you?”

Writer Lady looks at Monitor Man.

“What about super hereos, humanoid space aliens, time travelers?”

“A human.”  Writer Lady says smiling.

“A Jedi?”

Writer Lady looks at him sternly.

“You still haven't answered my question.”  Monitor Man says.  “How did you feel about not returning home with me?”

“We had to travel nearly two hours in a cab spending the whole time weaving this elaborate story about being in a local movie to try to convince the driver that the putrid smell in his car was fake blood and not ninja zombie blood.”

“Still not answering my question.”

“He kept asking us if this actor was in it or that actor was in it.  One time Tinkletoes wasn't listening and said that he met John Wayne.  John Wayne?  In a zombie movie?  The cabby almost radioed for the state police.  We convinced him that Tinkletoes was trying to be funny and he put down the hand set.”

Monitor Man waits.

“I don't know how he didn't see the eyeball that was threaded through the heel of my boot.   Did you know that there was a zombie eyeball on the heel of my boot?”

Monitor Man leans in and whispers.   “You're not going to talk about your feelings are you?”