Monday, January 6, 2020

When You're At Work But Your Characters Think It's Play Time

(Late Afternoon –Office Setting)
Scotch leans over and whispers to a woman at a desk who is typing.

Scotch: You know what I think you should put in the story? The bad guys following me around is cool and everything but I think that it’s time for another dead body. Maybe I could hear something and chase someone into the darkness, a gun could go off and then Pen…


Pen: What are you doing? (looks around) This is work. We aren’t supposed to be here.


Scotch (looks at Pen and smiles): She’s typing, where else should we be?


Pen: Waiting...at home. She’s work-ING.


Scotch: Exactly she’s working. We need to be here to help. (Scotch leans in closer) What we really need is some action. Big action. You know what I’d really like to do? Bungee jump off of Big Ben. It’s dangerous, it’s exciting...readers will flock to us.


Pen (To Scotch): She’s working. Let’s go home.


Scotch ignores Pen and watches the woman type. He stops smiling.
Scotch: My name is not on the screen anywhere. Is she cheating on us with another story? (Looks at Pen and points to the screen) She’s cheating on us with another story.


Enter Toni Johnson, Window Weather woman. Toni stops to stand on the other side of Pen.
Toni: Excuse me. Does he know what the phrase “at work” means?


Scotch looks away from the computer screen and turns to look at Toni.


Toni: Yes I’m talkin’ about you. Hey there baby. What your petite lady friend, excuse me but where do you find clothes that small? Does Barbie have a consignment shop full of her old clothes or something? You are a tiny little thing. 


Pen makes a face.


Toni: Sorry I ran off the road there for a minute. Let Toni pick up where she left off. (Back to Scotch). What our friend here is doing is called Working. She has a job.


Scotch: Yes writing about us.


Toni: No don’t nobody pay her for that. This is her other job. The one that pays for things. So if you want to go killing yourself jumping off that big ole clock thang you need to take your happy butt home and wait for her there.


Scotch: But what about?


Toni: (Patiently repeats) No baby take the butt home.


Scotch (setting tumbler of scotch on desk): I’m just going to leave this for her. In case she gets thirsty.

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