Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Excerpt "Heather Darling and The Case of the Clockwork Cannibal"

“What happened while I was gone?” I ask.

“The doctor stopped by and everything looks good.” Ian says.

“Looks good.” Farina repeats.

“His kidneys are working like they are supposed to.”

The detective finds his bed sheet fascinating. “Went for a walk. Took a whiz.”

“His behind was uncovered. Several nurses have stopped by to say, ‘Hell-o.’” Ian says with a grin.

“My patootie is a cutie.” Farina says with a smile.

I smile back.

He looks at me and says. “You’re so pretty.” He looks at Ian and says, “She’s my wife.”

I look at Ian. “He’s like a broken record.”

“You picked him, Lassie.”

“That’s right. You picked me. Where’s Lassie?”

I send Ian out of the room to eat something and spend the entire time he’s gone trying to convince Detective Farina that Lassie didn’t come to see him. Which leads to a long discussion about Lassie and why Timmy’s parents let him play around so many dangerous things like wells. Fun times. I’m tempted to call for reinforcements. Why should his partner miss out on the fun? Detective Farina finally starts to come down from whatever the stuff is. By midnight, he is in and out of sleep with random comments about Lassie and his desire for a root beer float. Kids, you gotta love ‘em.

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