Not That Innocent

 

“Your advice is going to be so much better.” House counters sarcastically.

“I have written over thirty books and have three RITAs so, yes, my advice would be better.” He looks at the ceiling. “Thanks for stepping in but you can go now.”

“Three RITAs big whoop.”

“Love you too House. Bye.” The assassin-in-training says before pulling up a chair and sitting down next to his protege. He focuses on the monitor in front of them. “I had the best people handling my website. What kind of budget are we looking at?”

“There wasn’t really room in the budget to hire a web designer.” Writer Lady says.

“You’re a professional.” Carp says.

Writer Lady does not respond.

“Did you get your MFA?” He asks.

She shakes her head. “I read and studied writing on my own time. Mostly I practiced.”

“A bit of a ‘do-it-yourself-er’ are you?”

Writer Lady makes a face. “I’m not the handiest woman, when it comes writing related things so far, yes, I do most of it myself.”

Carp looks at the screen then at the wall above Writer Lady’s head, then turns his attention back to the computer screen. “No probs, I’m sure we can work with this. I see which provider you are going through, what package did you purchase?”

Writer Lady pales a bit.

“You didn’t take the free one did you? Please tell me you didn’t take the free one.”

“I didn’t take the free one.”

“Good girl.” Carp says with a smile, “What did you take?”

Writer Lady opens up a new tab and goes to her web hosting provider’s main page.

“You took the next one up.” Carp pales slightly. “I’m an optimist, always have been and I say we can work with this. We really aren’t ready to change anything yet anyway, I still need to decide who you’re going to be.”

Carp reaches out and takes command of the mouse, closing the current browser tab he returns to Writer Lady’s website and begins perusing the information that is already on it. He reads through three of her short stories and looks at a couple of blog posts. The retired romance writer pulls up her social media accounts and peruses them. Carp looks at Writer Lady and smiles. “I am going to make some changes on this website okay?”

“What kind of changes?”

“Color palette, font, a bit of art…”

“Okay. I’m only keeping it if I like it.”

“There would be no other reason to keep it unless you liked it.”

Writer Lady watches as Carp works. Carp turns to find her watching and covers the center of the screen with his hand. “Would you mind taking your attention away from what I’m doing?”

“How am I going to know if I like the changes if I don’t watch?”

“You will decide after I’m finished.”

Writer Lady makes a face.
“I know it sounds dramatic and unlike me but I love a big reveal.” Carp says. “It’ll be fun.”

Writer Lady sighs.

“Don’t you like surprises?” He asks.

“Not really.”

Carp looks Writer Lady in the eyes. “I know what I’m doing. This is going to look great and I really think you are going to love it will you humor me and just stop looking?”

“What should I be doing instead?”

“I don’t know. Just do it somewhere else.”

“This could go badly.” She says as she exits High Command.

 

 

 

***Thirty Minutes Later***

Carp guides Writer Lady back into High Command. The assassin-in-training is walking behind her using his hands to cover her eyes. “Forward, forward, keeeep going forward. Step to the left. Your other left. Forward, forward, forward. Sit and...look.” He says as he uncovers her eyes.

Writer Lady studies the new page. The color palette has been changed to yellow and white, the font simplified and enlarged one size. The art had been replaced with tasteful stock photos in monochromatic shades of a cheerful yellow.

“Ta-da! You my dear Writer Lady are officially an innocent.”

“I like everything you’ve done here but...an innocent? Won’t readers find it boring?”

“Innocents are great. Innocents are optimistic, cheerful, and open.”

“And naive.” Writer Lady points out.

“Naive is approachable and approachable means more readers.”

“More readers would be nice. I’m not sure it’s me.”

Tinkletoes walks in to the room. “Are you done yet? We need to get that ammunition tested before sundown.”

Carp looks at Writer Lady and grins. One corner of her mouth turns up in a smile. “I think we are. All Writer Lady needs to do now is acclimate to her new persona and she can do that without me.”

Tinkletoes leans in and looks the web page. “Is that it?” He asks.

“Yes. Our much loved Writer Lady is now an innocent to the world and destined to be much loved by everyone.”

“An innocent? Wouldn’t it be faster to put a bullseye on her back and send her into the woods during deer season?”

Carp makes a face at Tinkletoes. “It can’t be that bad, it’s only cyberspace.”

“She’s all sweet and nice here, an innocent as you call her and yellow, you used yellow.”

“Yellow as in spring flowers, sunshine, and smiling emojis.” Carp says. “Good things. Things people like.”

“Yellow only means one thing to me.” The self-proclaimed mercenary responds, “Coward, ‘sides, it isn’t true.” Tinkletoes looks at Writer Lady and nods in her direction. “That woman has a mean streak.”

“Only because you put it there.” She responds turning her back to the self-proclaimed mercenary.

“It would still make that,” He says pointing to the monitor, “a lie.”

Writer Lady turns to Carp, “He does have a point. Lying is something that does not sit well with me.”

“O-kay.” Carp says sitting down next to Writer Lady, “It looks like it’s time for round two.”