Writer Lady taps on her keyboard without actually typing a single word. Turning her head, she watches as Carp and Tinkletoes chase Furnatche through the living room. The baby dragon scampers across the floor with one of Carp’s arm guards clenched between his teeth. She turns back to the email in front of her, then back to the people and animals in her living room.
Tinkletoes chases Furnatche playfully, gently relieving the dragon of the arm guard and returning it to Carp. Writer Lady turns back to her computer, not before Tinkletoes sees her watching them. The two men stop on their way past the entrance to High Command.
“Hey.” Tinkletoes says.
“Hey.” Writer Lady responds.
“Are you needin’ something?” He asks.
“No, um...yes. Not really.”
“So which is it?”
“I don’t need anything. I got this email from the editor Carp connected me with. I wanted to ask Carp a question.”
The retired romance novelist/assassin-in-training steps forward. “What do you need sweetie?”
Tinkletoes makes a face. The self-proclaimed mercenary finds Writer Lady to be anything but sweet.
“Ms. Woodson has this anthology she's editing. One of her contributing authors backed out and she was wondering…”
“No. Your answer is no. You are editing. Creating when you are immersed in the trenches of editing is difficult for some of the most experienced professionals. You are not ready for that.”
“She wasn’t asking me she’s asking you.”
“Sweetie, I’m retired.”
Writer Lady shrugs.
“The industry dumped me. Turned their backs on me. When my carpal tunnel set in she dropped me like a hot potato.”
Writer Lady points to the email.
“She’s near the top of my Revenge list.”
“The email is really nice?” She says.
“Fine.” Carp steps into High Command to read the message. “Working on a collection blah blah blah...lost an author...blah blah blah...”Where I Am Now” essay written by the most beloved authors of the last decade.”
“I am beloved?” Carp repeats, he steps back, placing a hand to his heart in surprise. The assassin-in-training looks at Tinkletoes.
“Nothing should interfere with a man’s Revenge list. You’re fully immersed in your training. There is no way you can switch from the rigorous physical and mental training you are going through to...write.”
“How many words?” Carp asks.
“There is an 800 word minimum.” Writer Lady responds.
“I can do that in my sleep.” He says, pulling up a chair. “Move over girl Jenny Love is back.” Fingers move across the keyboard at an alarming rate.
Tinkletoes watches as his trainee settles in. “So are you um...gonna be long?”
The sound of fingers tapping on keys is the only response the self-proclaimed mercenary receives.
“I’m just gonna wait, out there.” Tinkletoes says pointing in the general direction of the kitchen. “Let me know if you need help with you know...words and stuff.”
Still no response.
“Bye.”
Several minutes pass.
“Did you say something?” Carp asks.
“No.”
“I have to finish this up. Tinkletoes is waiting.”
Writer Lady turns around. “He’s not here.”
“Oh. He’s probably wandered off to blow something up. I’m sure he’ll be back by the time I’ve finished.”
“I have a question.” Writer Lady asks.
“Yes?” Carp asks without looking away from what he is doing.
“Who are you writing this as?”
“Jenny Love of course.”
“What are you telling your readers about your life?”
“The truth.”
“You’re telling them about the carpal tunnel, getting dumped, meeting Tinkletoes, deciding to become an assassin, meeting all of us.”
“Yes.” He continues typing.
“All of us?” Writer Lady asks.
Carp turns to look at Writer Lady.
She moves her head to the side indicating he should look at who is in the immediate vicinity.
He looks into the living room. Furnatche runs past with Dylan following behind. Daemon the demon is chasing both the baby dragon and the child. The floor bounces and he runs past.
House’s voice can be heard over the rumble. “No running inside you’re straining my floor joints.”
“It’s fine.” Carp says as he continues typing.
“There is a seven foot dragon in the living room.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” Carp talks as he types. “My good friend Diomedes’ chess game is flawless. He has impeccable table manners. Guess what boys and girls? I also have been traveling extensively.”
Writer Lady whispers, “Don’t be too specific.”
“To the exotic world of Faerie. A magical place that does not exist on our physical plane. It’s true my friends, Jenny Love has experienced in-ter-di-mensional travel. It was the most amazing experience of my entire life.”
Writer Lady stares at Carp in disbelief.
“One learns so much about themselves when they travel abroad. Miss Jenny is no exception. I learned that I have an immediate rapport with intelligent and exotic animals. Unicorns, royal felines and talking antelopes.”
“Oh my goodness.” Writer Lady says. The air in the room grows still and it is a bit warm as well as she wonders when they come because they will come, will the men in the white coats only escort Carp away to the asylum or if there be a complete sweep done of the property.
“I have to confess I have also seen ancient artifacts. As Jenny always says you shouldn’t write historical romance if you don’t like history. It’s just not your thang. It is Miss Jenny’s. For all you fans of Camelot, Miss Jenny can confirm that Excalibur does exist in real time. The sword is amazing! The stories were not exaggerating.”
“Please stop.” Writer Lady mutters.
Carp types a few more words and says. “All Done.”
Writer Lady reaches out to delete the essay the moment Carp’s back is turned.
“And already sent.”
She looks at Carp.
“You didn’t think I was going to trust you not to delete it did you?”
Carp looks at Writer Lady. “Woodson asked me to write something, I did. What the reader brings to the piece when they turn the page something else entirely.”
Writer Lady begins to say something.
“It was a lot of fun and should sell lots of copies. Writing should be fun sweetie. Never get so far from the fun that you can’t find your way back, it’s where the passion is.”
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