“You didn’t do the hair thing did you?”
TP giggles, hiding his smile behind a hand.
Writer Lady reaches up and confirms that TP did in fact do the hair thing. Her mouth begins moving, I come home in the morning light…by the time she gets to the first chorus Writer Lady finds herself and her um...entourage in the middle of a cobble stoned street in a brightly colored village on a float that actually floats. Writer Lady looks around for something that tells her where she’s at and sees a sign that reads Little Ambling Floating Band and a group of pixies and faeries holding musical instruments floating behind her.
Pixies line both sides of the street along with ogre families. The adults are clapping and dancing to the music the children are waving at Writer Lady and her new friends. Since TP has taken Cyndi Lauper’s voice and put it into Writer Lady’s mouth she does her best to relax and roll with it. Putting both of her arms out and raising her face to the sky as she sings, I want to be the one to walk in the sun. Dancing in time with the bear, tiny owl, mountain lion and unicorn who have become her back-up dancers. Some version of this was all Writer Lady had wanted. One chance, one moment, one day to have some real rule free, judgement free fun. By the end of the song Writer Lady was adding her own moves, the audience had come out into the street and everyone was dancing. As the song ended TP appeared in front of Writer Lady.
“Feeling better?”
She let her smile answer for her.
“What else should we do?”
A mischievous look appears on Writer Lady’s face. “Does anyone know where I can get a sword?”
A dozen hands appear from every angle offering her a weapon.
Writer Lady accepts a sword that feels comfortable in her hand. “Will someone show me how to use this properly?”
Captain Ozar, Lady Gray’s head of command emerges from the crowd. “I’m free to assist. What would you like to learn?”
A smile crosses her lips. “Captain Ozar, good to see you.”
“Good to see you Writer Lady. What do you want to learn?” He repeats.
“How to kick some ass.” She responds.
Laughter rings through the group of ogres that has come to see who their captain is talking to.
“That won’t be difficult.” TP giggles.
“We all do have a bit of soft spot for you.” Captain Ozar admits.
The ogres nod in agreement.
“Can you teach me enough to knock Tinkletoes on his butt?”
“I can do that. Let’s start at the beginning. The first thing you need to learn is how to address your opponent.”
TP rolls his eyes and waves a hand over his shoulder. The uniform of the ogre standing behind him is replaced with a dress. It’s white and falls to the ogre’s knee. The address on the dress belongs to Tinkletoes. The stamp is depicts the ruler of the Graylands, the feline, Lady Gray.
“That’s not what the captain meant TP. Give the officer back his clothes.”
TP waves a hand and the neatly folded uniform appears in the ogre’s outstretched hands.
“I suppose that’s the best I’m going to get from you while we’re in Faerie.”
“You’d better believe it Toots.” The faerie says with a tip of the brown fedora that has appeared on his head and a wink.
Writer Lady attempts a lunge and realizes she already needs help. She looks at TP. “Wardrobe.”
The faerie taps her shoulder and the dress, the jewelry and the bright orange hair disappears. They are replaced with brightly colored athletic wear covered in images of tiny flowers, bubbles and pixies, along with a pair of shoes and gloves.
Making a second attempt, Writer Lady extends her right leg and leans into a lunge as she stretches out her arm and holds up her weapon.
“Very good for someone fighting in your dimension.” Captain Ozar says.
“We don’t do that here Silly Human.” TP says.
Ignoring TP, Writer Lady returns to a standing position. “Show me what to do.”
“First, keep in mind you are in Faerie. When fighting using a sword neither the weight of the sword nor the size of your opponent determines who will be the winner.”
“It depends on how much skill you have.” Writer Lady says.
The captain shakes his head. “The determining factor is only one thing, the limit of one’s imagination.”
“Oh.” Writer Lady lowers her sword.
“Not all creatures of Faerie use their imagination. Living in a magical place like Faerie many feel no need to imagine anything else.”
"You on the other hand," Captain Ozar takes a step stopping next to Writer Lady’s ear and whispers, “I think you’ll find that you’re what you humans would call a heavy weight.”
A small smile emerges moments before she shakes her head. “It’s been a tough year, don’t be too sure.”
“Your muscles may be weak but they’re still there. As they say on your world, it’s just like riding a bike. Observe.” Captain Ozar as he takes up a sword and nods to another ogre in the crowd. The ogre returns the nod and approaches raising his own weapon.
The two blades meet.
“The trick is to imagine yourself winning.” He continues. “Your clothes and skin are stronger than any armor. No strike can penetrate them.” Captain Ozar lets his opponent’s blade touch his shoulder—the fabric of the captain’s coat remains intact. He reaches out and hits the other ogre’s finger with his blade which momentarily glows brightly. A number one appears in the air to the side of them in the same bright green color. He gives his opponent a nod and steps back. “Your turn.” Captain Ozar says looking at Writer Lady.
“Will I hurt him?”
“Nothing but his pride.”
TP appears at Writer Lady’s shoulder. “It’s gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel.”
Writer Lady looks at TP for a few beats before repeating, “Fish in a barrel.”
“The imagination is strong with this one.” The faerie says looking at the ogre as Writer Lady raises her sword.
The ogre swallows nervously as he approaches. He raises his sword, lowering it across her upper arm a narrow strip of bright yellow glows where the sword is touching her. A bright yellow one appears in the air.
Captain Ozar approaches, “Remember your body is made from impenetrable armor. No one can defeat you.” He looks at the ogre. “Again.”
The ogre strikes a second time. Writer Lady steps out of the way immediately countering with a strike to the ogre’s torso. A deep green mark glows where her sword crossed the ogre’s skin. The green side appears showing Writer Lady has scored ten points.
“I told you, you’re a natural.” Captain Ozar looks at the crowd surrounding them. “Who’s next?”
A second ogre approaches, one that appears to be twice the size of the first ogre. He looks at Writer Lady with a concentrated glare, grunting as he approaches.
Writer Lady returns the glare and grunts back. Taking a defensive stance, she blocks his first attempt. As her imagination builds, fending off the ogre off takes less and less effort. Writer Lady notices the ogre looking at Captain Ozar seconds before he says, “Can I get a little help here?”
“Looking for volunteers.” Captain Ozar calls to the group on onlookers.
Five more ogres step forward. Writer Lady finds herself surrounded.
If anyone could use a little help...crosses Writer Lady’s mind.
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