Finding Trouble (Orig. Posted on Twitter Nov. 11, 2013)

“Once upon a time...Okay Dobby now what?” Writer Lady asks.
“Now what, what?”
“What comes next?”
“I don't know. I thought you knew.”
“If I knew a story I wanted to tell I wouldn't have asked you to tell me a story.” Writer Lady answers.
“You are the Writer Lady. It's your job to have a story.”
"Not every day."

"Yeah! It kind of is." Dobby answers.
"Okay so refresh my memory. I do this, why?"
Dobby lets out a sigh and wanders over to big dark closet in the far corner of High Command.
Rustling sounds can be heard and fairly soon objects come flying out of the closet, many of them bouncing off of Writer Lady's head.
Throw pillows, linens, empty mesh hampers, winter socks. Papers, oh the papers.
Dobby comes out of the closet holding a beat up Memo book. Writer Lady scribbles in those, just so you know...she has one all of the time so if you have a conversation and then she scrambles away to scribble...u may become part of a character just sayin'.
Dobby comes out of the closet (WL giggles) clearing his throat and reading.
"Sept. 2010 -- I may have stumbled on one of the main reasons I write. My mind seems to always be overflowing with all of this stuff. Creative, funny, colorful stuff.  If I don't write this crap down I'll never get any sleep ever again. It keeps me out of the bars too."Dobby clears his throat. "So Mom it would appear that you write so you don't sleep in bars anymore."
"Wait a minute...that statement would indicate that I used to sleep in bars at one time. I think I would remember that.  I don't think they really make bars big enough for a person to climb in and go to sleep."

 "Isn't there an expression about climbing in the bottle?"  Dobby asks.
"Yes, Dobby but that's just an expression. I don't fall asleep inside giant bars. I love you kitty but I'm just not buying it.  I was saying I write because I have to. I can't let this stuff just keep flying around inside my head. It also is fun, entertaining...keeps me out of trouble...most of the time."
"Which reminds me..."  Dobby brings Writer Lady the mail.
"Another letter from PETA? Seriously? This says that I am not providing a stable home for you because of all the characters that have moved in with us. The letter also says that Tinkletoes is a bad influence on you. I should never have let him in the house." She looks at Dobby. "Did you tell them that I never let him in the house? He's your friend. I still haven't figured out how you learned to unlock the door."
"I didn't Mom. Tinkletoes knows how to pick locks."
"He picks locks? What else can he do that I don't know about?"
"Do you know about the light sabers?" Dobby asks.
"Yes."
"Do you know about the lock picking?"  Dobby asks.
"Now I do."
"Do you know about the guns, knives and ammo?"
"Yes. I don't like it but yes I know about that stuff."
"Do you know he's been taking your clean feminine napkins and making paper animals with them?"  Dobby asks.
"Really?"  Writer Lady asks crossing her eyes and biting her bottom lip hard to keep from laughing.
Dobby nods.
"You're sure of this?"
"We played "Wild Country Safari" last week while you were at work." Dobby answers.
Writer Lady goes into the bathroom and turns on the light. Opens the bathroom cabinet. "Are you sure? Nothing looks different kitty. Wait a sec. There is writing on this bag." Writer Lady says pulling a bag out of the vanity.
Wild Kuntree Safaree Don't Touch.  Is written on the bag of pads in permanent marker.
Writer Lady reaches in to the bag and pulls out...everything. All the animals are stuck to her hand. "Dobby kitty what is this?" Dobby walks over to Writer Lady's hand to get a good look.
"Giraffe, elephant, lion and a gazelle. You could probably still use the giraffe and elephant on light days. The gazelle too?"
Writer Lady shakes her head. "Nope too horney."  Writer Lady reaches into the cabinet for another bag of feminine napkins.  Buggy Science Stuf the bag reads.
"Look before you touch that one Mom."  Dobby warns.
Writer Lady peers into the bag.  "Gross! What is that?"
"We were bug specialists that day. So we used the sticky side of the pads like fly paper."  Dobby says.
Writer Lady starts reaching into the cabinet and pulls out all the bags of feminine napkins.
"What were you doing that day?" she asks.
"Making hats."
"This day?" She asks, holding up another bag. "This one stinks."
"Feeding the dragon different things and seeing how it changed his poop. Don't get too close to the chips and salsa one. I'm still having nightmares." 

 Writer Lady holds up one last bag. 

 "More dragon poop."  Dobby answers.  "Once you give them beans, it's just over."