Dobby's Bored

“Dobby! Dobby kitty come here!” Writer Lady calls.

The ginger tabby opens one eye, raises his head, slowly standing and stretching out his entire body. After a couple of licks to his body Dobby jumps off the bed and makes his way into High Command.

“Whaaaaat?” Dobby yowls entering the room.

“Guess what?”

“What?” Dobby asks.

“This is so exciting. You'll never guess. I know you'll never guess.”

“WHAT?” Dobby asks again.

“Our blog has 80 posts! We started this a little over a year ago and we are almost to 100. Isn't that great?” Writer Lady asks.

“Sure Mom. Great.” Dobby answers returning to his bath.

“You don't sound very happy.” Writer Lady says.

“Of course I'm happy.” slurp

“You don't look very happy.” Writer Lady says.

“I'm totally happy Mom.” sluuuurp “We kick blogging ass. It's just...”

“It's just what?”

“I just thought that after all that work I went through to get endorsed at the con in the Land of Rising Bird, you know, more would be happening.”

“You went through?”

“Sorry Mom. You went through.”

“Patience dear kitty. Everything comes in it's own good time.”

“You do realize that 80 posts means 80 nights you didn't have a date?” Writer Lady pales and reddens at the embarrassment.

“Eighty nights you sat here alone in the house at the computer with nothing to do but talk to your cat and various other characters.”

Writer Lady stiffens a bit. “Everything comes in it's own good time. Besides, I have been having fun.” she answers smiling.

Cutting his bath short Dobby walks over to the Big Writing Chair and jumps in Writer Lady's lap. “Surfing the internet reading about everyone else's fun,” he says rubbing his face against hers.

“It's so nice to see that everyone is happy.” Writer Lady counters.

“Everyone's having fun except you. Millions of people all over the world—fun. You. Not so much.”

“Everything comes in it's own good time.” Writer says slowly in a very deep voice. “Don't push me kitty.” Writer Lady says, pulling up a new screen for Pinterest searching furiously for positive affirmations to fit the situation. Everything is going to be okay. Love yourself and you are never truly alone.

Dobby turns around to look at the screen, “Are those um...help-ing?”

“Bend over and I'll put one where the sun doesn't shine, I'm sure I'll feel lots better.” Writer Lady says through clenched teeth.

“Now see this is why you can't get a date.” Dobby points out.

Writer Lady growls.

“I told you it doesn't bother me. It only bothers you.”

“Actually what bothers me is that neither one of us is getting the love that we deserve.” Dobby says.

“You mean you aren't getting the admiration you are craving. Which is precisely why you aren't a big deal yet. You want it too badly.”

“Mom. It doesn't matter how badly I want it. I say it's time for the admiring to start. It needs to start already.” Dobby says.

“It's not gonna start until you forget about it.” Writer Lady sings.

“Mom please don't sing. It hurts everyone's ears.” Dobby sings back.

“At least I don't have butt breath.”

“Touch e Mom. Touch e.”

Dobby returns his attention back from the screen to Writer Lady. Rubbing his head against her forehead. “I was thinking. We need to change the blog a little bit.”

“How?”

“I'm thinking, some way cool stunts. Maybe some pyro technics?”

“Fireworks? Kitty those won't translate well with in the written word.” Writer Lady says. “I need more practice writing descriptions for that. Besides this is meant to be funny.”

“Way cool stunts then.” Dobby says.

“I don't think so.”

“Okay Mom so here's the problem. You aren't seeing anyone and you say it doesn't bother you. As long as this is true, we're running out of jokes.”

“No we aren't” Writer Lady says.

“Yes we are.”

Writer Lady shakes her head.

“Yes we are.” Dobby repeats.

“We need new characters, new surroundings, new problems, random men stopping by...something. Because frankly nothing much happens around here these days.”

“Speak for yourself. I have to say I see some pretty amazing stuff going on.”

“Like?”

“Well the alien that showed up suddenly last week disappeared.”

“Dead spider on wall. It fell off the wall a couple of days ago.”

“Not an alien?”

“No, Mom”

“Good now I can get back to sleep. Those night watches were killing me. I was out of aluminum foil too. No tin hat.”

“Okay Mom so what else?”

“Another alien left a strange slimy fungus in the shower. Every time I shower I risk my very life. Every day I have to decide...stink or die. Stink. Or Die.”

“Mom that was mold. You keep forgetting to scrub the tub.”

“Okay...I hate that job so much. That's why you know.”

Dobby sits on the computer table glaring at Mom. “Things are just bor-ing.”

“What about TP?” Writer Lady asks.

“What about TP” Dobby says.

“He has been making improvements around here. Beautiful work.”

Dobby looks closely around the room. Just below the pink lightsaber Writer Lady received for her birthday from Tinkletoes was a shelf. On that shelf, was a picture of a forest. Dobby walks over to the shelf and peers in.

“It's a picture of a forest.” Dobby says. Boring.

“That's not a picture kitty. That is an enchanted forest from Faerie. Take a closer look.”

Dobby stands up and leaning against the shelf peers in. The songs of frogs and crickets sound in his ears. Fireflies blink in and out of the cat's range of sight.

“Pretty isn't it?” Writer Lady says her back turned to it.

“Meh, kind of interesting.” Dobby says. A faint sound of running water can be heard in the background. Dobby sticks his head in as far as he can. The ginger cat spies TP climbing into a jacuzzi tub-- naked. Pixies are already cavorting in the tub giggling and chattering amongst themselves.

TP feels himself being watched and turns around. “Do you mind Dobby? Pixies only.”

The ginger cat's face reddens. “Sorry,” he says backing out as quickly as he can.

“Nice guy. A bit overly enthusiastic for a neutered male if you ask me.” TP can be heard commenting to the pixies.

“So kitty? Do you still think things are boring?” Writer Lady asks.