Happy Easter Dobby!

“Happy Easter Dobby!”

Dobby looks up from his nap. “Easter?”

Great how do I explain Easter to a cat? “Dobby, do you remember Christmas?” Mom asks.

“A baby was born, so it's a birthday celebration with presents that is officiated by a jolly bearded man.”

“Not the most accurate description, but for your kitty brain, it's good enough.” Mom says. “For you a good description for Easter would be it's is end of life for that same baby after he had grown into a man. Instead of a jolly bearded man and presents there is a giant happy bunny with lots of chocolate.”

“Seriously?” Dobby asks, eyes big.

“Like I said not completely accurate but that gives you a rough idea of what to think about when I say Happy Easter.”

“So you get to eat chocolate today?” Dobby asks.

“I get to eat chocolate all day long if I want to.” Mom answers.

“I like it when you eat chocolate, it makes you happy.” Dobby says.

“I know. I could use some after the day I had yesterday.”

“I want you to eat some chocolate after the day you had yesterday.” Dobby says.

“It was your fault.”

“No. It wasn't.” Dobby says.

“YES. It was.”

Mom sits back in her big writing chair and says, “Let me think about this. I came home from shopping with Grandma, put on my work clothes and went outside. Then I trimmed the hedges. How is the silliness that resulted from it my fault?”

“You left me in the house with an open picture window, access to paper, a big black marker and a totally pixalated faerie (TP) completely unsupervised. What happened after that was inevitable.” Dobby points out.

“I leave you at home unsupervised all of the time. You have never done anything like this before.” Mom counters.

“You have never trimmed the hedges since I met TP. We have never had an open picture window at our disposal.”

“You made me a side show for the whole neighborhood and half the town. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to do yard work with cars, trucks, SUV s and motorcycles cruising by every few minutes?”

“They were doing that before we started making the signs. TP and I just decided to have a little fun with it.”

“By putting up signs above my head that said things like:

 

VAMPIRE DOING YARD WORK. AREN'T YOU GLAD SHE ISN'T WEARING SHORTS?

FREE TO GOOD HOME. SHE DOES EXCELLENT YARD WORK.

 

SHE IS GOING TO LOSE A LIMB WITH THAT THING. TAKING BETS NOW. TEXT #WHEREDIDMYARMGO TO LOCK IN YOUR BET.

And my personal favorite:

LONELY WOMAN. CRUISE BY SLOWLY IF YOU'RE HORNEY.”

“Look at how many vehicles cruised by slowly, you're a hottie mom.” Dobby points out.

“I'd rather not be a 'hottie' to little old ladies and 10 year old boys thank you very much.”

“Don't do yard work in front of an open picture window anymore Mom. Chocolate?” Dobby says holding out a chocolate bunny.

“Thanks kitty. I don't mind if I do.” Mom reaches out and takes the chocolate bunny from Dobby. It immediately wiggles in her hand.  Mom looks down at the confection, the confection looks up at Mom with wide eyes and blinks.

“Dobby, a chocolate bunny is a bunny made entirely out of chocolate. Not a bunny from the yard dipped in chocolate!”

“It has a lot less calories this way. And you have to chase it down to get the chocolate off. Good exercise too.”

“Why must you do these things to me kitty?”

“Sorry Mom. But you leave yourself wide open. I can't resist.”