The Quest For Dobby's Destiny

                  Part II

“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” Mom says sitting down on the arm of the couch. “Dobby kitty where did that candy bar go that I brought home with me last week?”

“So it begins.” TP announces smirking.

Mom looks at the clock. “I don't care what kind of problem y'all are having, but I'm getting tired of this shit! I have been busting my butt to get out of town without any issues. Dammit I'm going!” Mom's face is bright red with anger. “I don't know why everyone keeps trying to steal my happiness away.” Mom starts crying.

Tinkletoes looks at Mom shocked at this development. Looking back at TP, “Do you mean Merlin can make her?” TP nods. “But we all just did this.”

“Not cramped together on a plane for five hours, you haven't. With extra turbulence, so you won't be able to get up and go to the bathroom for some peace and quiet.”

“I'll just get her a pill and it will all go away.” Tinkletoes says.

“Except, there won't be any available between here and there.” TP counters.

“He wouldn't make every woman between Illinois and Arizona do this?”

“He can and will.” TP answers, “If you do not cooperate.”

Tinkletoes looks at TP closely. TP stays firm, the faerie means business. The mercenary looks at Mom who has stopped crying and is now wiping her eyes and smiling at a mini chocolate bar Dobby is holding up to her. 

“Chocolate makes me happy.” Mom sniffles.

“I know Mom. You already said that.” Dobby answers.

“I'll just pick up some more chocolate.” Tinkletoes looks at TP, “There isn't going to be any more of that either is there?”

“Not the tiniest shaving.” TP says.

Tinkletoes stands as close to TP as he possibly can and says. “I would love to back out of this. Especially now. I am on a mission of my own. This is a little bit awkward...” Tinkletoes leans in and starts whispering to the faerie.

“Writer Lady, would you mind procuring an item for Tinkletoes at the end of your journey? It seems he has a new...toy waiting for him.” TP says.

“Whoa now. Let's just back this up for a second. It's not a toy. This is a collectible. Anlace over at the lightsaber booth is saving it for me. We started working on this at last year's con.”

Everyone stares at Tinkletoes in disbelief.

“I designed my own emblem for it, see?” Tinkletoes holds up a torn slip of paper. Mom and Dobby cross the room to study the picture.

“TiTys Saber?” Mom asks.

“Sexy huh? I'm gonna pick up a lot of chicks with this. Anlace even created my own unique color for the saber, the part that glows? See?”

“That looks like...” Mom says.

“Gangrene,” Dobby lets out a tired sigh.

“Except for the yellow part which reminds me of...” Mom says.

“Baby poop.”

“Sexy...” Tinkletoes says.

“Yep. There is nothing sexier than baby poop. Especially when you're the one holding it. Good choice bro.” Dobby offers up a low five to the mercenary.

“TP, since this is a quest are you going with me? You are a magical being after all.” Mom asks.

“No, my dear Writer Lady you need another kind of magic entirely for this quest. I am sending the Lady with the Long Golden Hair on this quest with you.”

“Bridget? I don't know. She might be busy or something.”

“Merlin says she is not busy anymore. She has a role to play in this quest as well. Her job is to meet with the Master of Inks. She must procure her own signature, among other things.”

*********

“What was I thinking?” Mom looks at the Lady with the Long Golden Hair. They are on the second leg of their flight to the Land of the Rising Bird. They arrived late and had the unexpected bad news that they might arrive too late for their connecting flight. The two travel newbies just made it to the plane. Mom is trying to keep from hyperventilating. The Lady with the Long Golden Hair is not talking, airports are no fun at all.

“Next time, I want a Travel Buddy. All the newbies should get a free Travel Buddy, someone to help with everything. Especially the schlepping of the bags.”  Mom says.

The Lady with the Long Golden Hair says, “I can help with that.” She pulls out a card that says, '1-800- Sugar Daddy We don't schlep bags but we can pay someone who does.'

Mom takes the card, looks at it and hands it back to the Lady with the Long Golden Hair saying, “No thanks. There's no telling what I would end up with. I would prefer to say 'Hello' first.”

The Lady with the Long Golden Hair holds up a different card '1-800- Single Man. I Have A Job, Seriously. Give me a call. Say “Hello”. '

Mom shakes her head. “I think I'll schlep my own bags today. But thanks anyway.”  Schlep she did. 

The Lady with the Long Golden Hair, did not schlep for she had a way about her that men like. After their bags were securely placed in a limousine that cost no more than a cab ride she asked the Lady with the Long Golden Hair how she does it. “What? How do I do what?”

“You look at these men, smile and they trip all over themselves to do stuff for you.”

“I really don't know what you're talking about.” The Lady with the Long Golden Hair rolled her eyes. “Some people just get lonely sometimes, helping someone else helps them forget their loneliness,” the Lady with the Long Golden Hair says rationalizing the attention she receives.

“Are you lonely, my lady?” The limo driver stops at the arm of the Lady with the Long Golden Hair's seat. The Lady with the Long Golden Hair shakes her head, the driver continues on his way to his seat at the front of the car, crestfallen.