Out Of The Closet...Finally!

“Let me try something more traditional.” TP says to Monitor Man. He flies over to Writer Lady and flutters in her space.

“Surprise! It's sexy Monitor Man. Come on. Wake up! You've been panting after this guy for years now. Say something.” TP's ears light up and smoke starts billowing from the top of his head. Looking back at Monitor Man he says, “She was just looking at a picture of you this morning and you weren't wearing a shirt. Take something off maybe it will wake her up.”

“Take off my clothes? Do you know how much I hate taking those kinds of pictures? It's one of the things I love about what I'm doing now. I get to keep my clothes on.. Most of the time.” Monitor man answers.

“There aren't any cameras here. Take off your shirt you silly man.”

“No.”

“Loosen a couple of buttons.” TP suggests.

“No, she has to see me as I am and not as that shirtless guy she was drooling over this morning.”

“Shoes?”

“Shoes.” Monitor Man repeats. “I rarely go without shoes. I don't think it will help.”

“Pants?” TP asks.

“Nope, I'm not taking off my pants either.”

TP flutters over to a darkened corner of the closet does a spin and flies back over to Monitor Man as a voluptuous Marilyn Monroe in a tight evening dress. “Come on baby. Take it off. Take it all off” and puckers up.

“NO!” Monitor Man shouts.

“TP what have I told you about making inappropriate requests of people?” Writer Lady asks.

“Not too?” TP says.

“What else?”

TP spins furiously losing the blonde wig, make-up and evening dress. When the faerie stops spinning he is wearing a dated school uniform and a Dunce cap.

“Just because I'm from the land of Faerie doesn't mean I don't have to be nice. Keeping company with humans is different than other faeries. Humans require more manners. Especially strange humans.” TP looks at Monitor Man markedly with the word 'strange' and hangs his head in despair, pouting.

“A closet is no place for a guest. Let's get out of this closet. It's cramped and you're practically standing in the litter box.” Writer Lady says to Monitor Man.

Turning his head, Monitor Man sees the litter box on the floor behind him then at the back of his foot. “That was pretty close wasn't it? About the litter box, there's no smell. I didn't know it was even there.”

“TP enchanted Dobby's tail. If he swishes his tail over the litter the odors get neutralized.” Writer Lady says leading Monitor Man through the bonus room, laundry nook and into the kitchen. A pouting TP flutters into the kitchen behind them. “Can I get you something. Coffee? Pie maybe? You're working now aren't you? Are you allowed to eat pie when filming?”

“Pie?...Pie is always good. I'm not hungry right now. Could I take a rain check?” Monitor man asks.

“Sure.” Writer Lady says blushing a little at the thought of Monitor Man visiting at a future date.

“I have to ask you something.”

TP continues fluttering around them. Hanging on every word.

“Our little friend? He's acting a bit weird. I thought he was okay at first. All this talk about me taking off my clothes and fluttering so close by. Is he? Does he?”

“Have a crush on you?” Writer Lady asks.

Monitor man nods solemnly. “He's supposed to get me home before Monday.”

Writer Lady smiles and a gentle laugh escapes her. “No TP doesn't have a crush on you. If he did you would know.”

“Comes on strong, huh?. Like Kathy Bates in Misery?”

TP flutters away from Monitor Man and behind Writer Lady's shoulder so Monitor Man and can see him. A sledgehammer appears in his hands and the faerie strikes the air, a blood curdling scream sounds in Monitor Man's ears.

“I'm sorry what did you say?”

“When a faerie has a crush on a person they usually end up in a gilded birdcage wearing nothing but a bikini. A loincloth in your case. The cage is locked in a castle tower.”

“With a dragon?”

“No silly man. We freed the dragons eons ago.” TP giggles.

“I heard it was a rebellion.” Writer Lady says.

“Was not.” TP counters.

“That's not what I heard.” Writer Lady sings back. “Besides TP's last crush disappeared from our world and was never heard from again.”

“He was interesting until he became uninteresting.” TP says.

“What happened when he became uninteresting?” Monitor Man asks.

“It was time for him to go.” TP answers. Monitor Man pales considerably.

“Where did he go?” Monitor Man asks.

“You don't want to know.” Writer Lady says. “Besides the Fae don't behave that way anymore. Especially if they want any more cookies and cupcakes.”

“Okay TP leaves...NOW.” The faerie disappears in a wisp of smoke.

“Those must be some baked goods.” Monitor Man observes reaching out to touch the air TP just disappeared from.

“You have no idea.” Writer Lady says winking at Monitor Man who raises an eyebrow.

“I'm sorry I'm not better prepared for your visit. I wasn't expecting company.” Writer Lady says walking through the living room fluffing pillows and generally fussing.

Monitor Man follows her into the living room, walks over to Writer Lady holds her hands still in his and says, “You have a lovely home” looking deep into her eyes. “May I see the rest of it?”

Writer Lady grows quiet. For a moment Monitor Man wonders if she has frozen again. “Of course.”

The tour ends in High Command with a long talk about Dobby, TP, Tinkletoes, Furnatche and the rest. He has many questions about the book and Writer Lady is thrilled to answer them. She has many questions about him and his life. He answers them with every kindness. He asks to see the sexy picture on her computer and teases her a little for drooling over the man he was years ago.

“I hope you don't get mad. It doesn't seem like you to me at all. But overall it is a good picture. Should I ignore a good picture just because there is all that naked torso in the way?” Writer Lady asks.

“No I guess not. Would you mind if replaced that picture?” Monitor Man asks.

“On one condition, you have to be at your most comfortable when you take the picture.”

“You're on.” He answered.

Before he leaves they take a picture together. The visit ends with smiles all around. Writer Lady stands at the back door with Dobby. They watch TP and Monitor Man get into the invisible helicopter (TP enlarged the yard a bit and put down a helicopter pad, temporarily) and head West.

“Finally. I'm so glad that ya-hoo is gone.” Dobby says.

“I don't know, I think he might be back some day. If nothing else we made a new friend. It's always nice to make new friends.” Writer Lady says, watching the helicopter lift into the air as Monitor Man looks at the new picture on his cell phone and the helicopter flies away.