Action Hero Blues

Dobby Cat morphs, transforms and changes in front of Writer Lady's and Tinkletoes' eyes. TP's magic is something amazing. Dobby goes from a typical ginger tabby to a powerfully built Action Hero. He struts past the back of the Big Writing Chair to the center of High Command and strikes a masculine pose for Writer Lady. He appears robust and virile to all who gaze upon him.

“Well that was easy.” Tinkletoes says, patting Dobby on the back. “You have great genes kitty. Good job.”

Dobby lets out a breath and...ping! The snap on his leather pants flies off and goes right through the window. The pants are relieved of their burden and Dobby's belly spills out over the top of the leather. Our hero pulls up his pants and retreats to the bathroom. He might be blushing but he is orange so it's hard to tell.

Writer Lady tries to stifle her laughter. “I told you he was in no shape for this.”

“It's fine. We just have to modify the costume. Dobby is stockier than anticipated.” Tinkletoes says defending his choice.

“He's out of shape.” Writer Lady counters.

“He's husky.”

“He's fat.” Writer Lady says finishing the argument.

“This is just a set back. We'll fix it.” Tinkletoes says looking at TP.
The faerie snaps his fingers and a tiny tool box appears in his hand. With the second snap the faerie is wearing a t-shirt that says:

TP. Professional Faerie At Work. I've Got Your Back Side.

TP makes his way in to the bathroom.

Writer Lady returns to her scribbling as she and Tinkletoes wait to see the solution TP comes up with. Tinkletoes keeps himself busy by examining the hole in the window. He raises the blind. He sticks his finger through the hole.

“It's a perfect hole. It goes through both the window and the screen. Do you have any idea how much pressure it takes to do that without shattering the entire window?” He asks.

“Probably something similar to a bullet being fired by a gun.” Writer Lady says without looking up from her pad of paper. “But I'm just a girl. What do I know.”

TP enters High Command flying in reverse. He is waving his hands as if aiding a large truck as it reverses.

Dobby enters the room slowly with his head down still embarrassed.

Tinkletoes smiles with encouragement. TP flies up to Tinkletoes' ear to give him an update. Tinkletoes nods a lot.

Writer Lady takes a minute to sneak a peek at their repair work. The snap had been reattached with a piece of wire. They had compensated for the cat's girth using a rubber band. The old 'I'm not ready for maternity clothes yet. These jeans still fit' repair. Interesting. Writer Lady scratches Dobby's ear affectionately and returns to her seat.

“Okay Dobby. I have a camera. So what we're gonna do now is take some action footage. It will get you exposure a lot more quickly than just a head shot.” Tinkletoes says. “I think we'll start in the bedroom. TP is going to be a thug. He will threaten you with a gun. Quick as lightning, I want you to jump up, run across the bed and chase him out of the room jumping off the bed and following him out of the room close behind. I'm going to lay on the floor. When you jump off the bed, jump over me and the camera. It'll be a great shot.”

Writer Lady decides to stay in High Command. Listening can be just as fun as watching. She hears Tinkletoes say, “Okay. On action...one, two and ac-tion!” There is rustling then a loud Ping!, a scream from Tinkletoes. “Okay.” Tinkletoes whispers. “cut...”

Writer Lady goes into the bedroom to see what happened. Tinkletoes is laying on the floor. There is a distinct round mark on his forehead. A bright red one.

“Rubber band snapped huh?” Writer Lady asks.

Tinkletoes stays where he is. Waiting for the humiliation to be over.

Writer Lady looks around for the rubber band's remains. She spots them on the fly of the mercenary's camos. “You...um...weren't planning on having kids some day were you?” she asks.

“Ice. Please?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Stay here.” Writer Lady says, gentling her tone. By the time she returns with two ice packs, Tinkletoes is sitting up with his back against the wall. She hands him one and steps over his legs to put the other ice pack against his forehead.

“Thanks.” He grumbles.

“I was kind of mean earlier, with the jokes. I owe you one.”

TP comes into the bedroom and whispers to Tinkletoes. Tinkletoes nods. “Okay.”
 The faerie leaves the room.

“TP fixed the problem. He put Dobby in larger pants. Dobby doesn't have enough...butt. TP said he fixed that though.” Tinkletoes announces. “Okay come on in guys.”

Dobby comes back into the bedroom. He looks um...well rounded. Our furry action hero has two perfectly round buttocks pushing against the leather pants.

“Oh my goodness...” Writer Lady says covering her mouth. She averts her eyes. “I'm just going to go do some scribbling,” She says pointing to High Command.

Tinkletoes looks at the footage taken earlier. “Okay guys what I did earlier looks good. I think we'll try something with the whip now. Let's go out into the front yard. It's dark out. No one will see.” Our hero and his agents go out to the front yard to take more footage. “Okay Dobby. I need you to pull the whip from your belt. Release the tail, let it snap and bring it down to the ground. This is really cool looking. The snapping sound is a terrific effect. Same direction as before. One...two...AC-TION.”

Dobby reaches down, lifting the rolled up whip from his belt, releases the coiled leather raising his paw high. The tail of the whip flourishes back dramatically, snapping the back of the ginger tabby's pants. The POP is a sound like none other heard in Writer Lady's neighborhood---EVER.

Lights start to turn on all over the neighborhood.

“Down Now.” Tinkletoes says. The three slink around to the back yard.