Shots Were Fired

Tinkletoes, TP and Dobby sneak in the back door and hide in the utility closet.

There is knocking at the door.

Writer Lady opens it to find the police. “Yes.”

“Hello Ma'am. My name is Officer Silverfish and this is Officer Smelt. We have had some complaints this evening about shots being fired from this address.”

“Really?” Writer Lady asks. “That's odd.”

“Do you live here?” Officer Smelt asks.

“Yes I do.”

“Is there anyone else living here at this residence?” Officer Silverfish asks.

“No it's just me. Me and my cat.”

“Husband? Children?” Officer Smelt asks.

“No just me and my cat.”

“Do you have some identification?” Officer Smelt asks.

“Yes. I'll go get my wallet. Wait right here.” Writer Lady says leaving the room. She returns with her wallet and shows them her driver's license. Officer Silverfish checks it.

“Is your firearm licensed? Do you have your gun card with you?” Officer Smelt asks.

“I don't have any firearms.”

“All due respect ma'am shots were fired tonight from this address.”

“I am telling you with certainty. It was not me.”

“Is that so?” Officer Smelt asks challenging Writer Lady's statement. He takes out his notepad.

“For the last several months, let me rephrase that. The entire time you have been living in this house your neighbors have noticed unusual goings on.”

“Do you have examples?” Writer Lady asks.

“Well the shots being fired.”

“And?”

“Strange people have been seen “slinking” around in the shadows.”

“Do you have a description?”

“Male, approx 6' 2” eyes of blue? Usually dressed in camo, carries ammo bag, sometimes leaves with pastry boxes. Comes over and leaves at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes even on Sunday.” Officer Smelt announces with condescension.

Officer Silverfish leans towards his fellow officer and says, “That's Tinkletoes.”

“Tink? Nobody told me he was home.” Officer Smelt exclaims.

“I thought you knew. He's been back for over a year now.”

“I can't believe he made it back and hasn't called me yet. Have the gaming nights started up again yet? Do you know?”

“Oh yeah. His first week back. You know Tink. He couldn't wait to get that started again. We all tried to get together online when he was at base camp but the Internet connections were always overloaded. According to Tinkletoes the officers were hogging it.”

“No...” Officer Smelt exclaims.

“You'll never guess with what? Farmville.” Officer Silverfish says sharing his intel.

“Wow. You think smart people like that would at least be playing Grand Theft Auto or World of Warcraft.” Officer Smelts says.

“Maybe learn something.” Officer Silverfish offers.

“I'm guessing you two didn't enlist?” Writer Lady asked.

“No. I couldn't pass the physical.” Officer Silverfish answers. “I'm a little long in the tooth.”

“At least you passed the written.” Officer Smelts says.

“I'm sure you just missed by the skin of your teeth. You catch on really quick.” Officer Silverfish says reassuring the younger officer.

“No actually.” Officer Smelts says blushing a little.

“Pssst. Psssst!” Writer Lady turns to see Tinkletoes, TP and Dobby in the doorway of the darkened add on room. Tinkletoes is holding up a glow-in-the-dark sign.

GET THEM OUT OF HERE

“If you two will excuse me for a minute. I hear Dobby crying. He gets scared when strange people are here.”

The officers continue talking oblivious to Writer Lady's presence.

Writer Lady tiptoes into the add on room, “It's okay kitty. Don't be scared.” She continues into the darkness until she is out of the officers' sight.

“What do you mean get rid of them? They're your friends.” Writer Lady says getting into Tinkletoes' space.

“No. That's Smelts. Nobody likes Smelts.”

“What about the other one?” Writer Lady asks.

“Silverfish?”

Writer Lady waits for an answer.

“He's okay but he knows I don't like Smelts.” 
Writer Lady is still waiting. 
 “It's a guy thing, okay?”

Unimpressed with Tinkletoes' explanation Writer Lady evaluates her situation. “Fine!” Turning on her heel she returns to the living room.

“You know I bet they're a couple.” Officer Silverfish whispers to Officer Smelts just as Writer Lady returns.

“It sounds like you all have a lot of catching up to do. I won't keep you.”

“Of course. Anything for Tinks' girl.” Officer Smelts gushes, turning to leave.

“Sorry to bother you ma'am. I'll make sure the neighbors know they have nothing to worry about. Tinkletoes does things a little bit different we all understand.” Office Silverfish says following Smelts out the front door. “Don't worry we'll be discreet.”

Writer Lady's neighbors had gathered along the outer perimeter of her yard waiting to see the result of their careful record keeping.

“It's Okay Folks! It's just Tinkletoes! This is his girl!” Officer Smelts announces after retrieving a bullhorn from the trunk of his police cruiser.

The crowd nods, uttering words of understanding, relief and sympathy depending on how they felt about him. Within minutes everyone was gone. Writer Lady plops down on to her couch with a tired sigh and closes both eyes.

“Are they gone?” Tinkletoes asks standing over her.

“You're the soldier, you tell me.” She responds without opening her eyes.

Taking a quick look through the windows, “Yes. You cleared them out quick. That was a great idea too. Telling them I'm your boyfriend.”

Jumping up off the couch, “You! Are NOT my boyfriend!” Writer Lady says poking him in the chest with her finger.

Tinkletoes pales a little, surprised at the tone of her outburst. “Everyone seems to think so. I'm here all the time.”

“You come over and play video games with the cat. Take my baked goods under false pretenses. You don't talk to me unless you have to. Boyfriends don't do that.” Writer Lady says stepping back.

“You're right. I never should have done those things.” Tinkletoes says quietly. 

Writer Lady looks at him with her mouth gaping.

TP flies over to Tinkletoes and starts whispering with urgency. Tinkletoes nods a lot. “I'm sorry you have been labeled my um...girlfriend. If it's alright with you I won't say anything for a couple of days. On the next gaming night I'll tell everyone about the misunderstanding.”

Writer Lady nods her agreement.

Dobby sits in the middle of the living room and clears his throat loudly.