One Big Night--Revised

                            

“Mom? Mo—om!” Dobby calls walking through the hall and into the living room.

Finding Writer Lady stretched out on the couch, Dobby jumps up on to her chest and yowls. “MO-OM!”

“Yes kitty.” Writer Lady answers, “Move kitty, you're standing on my boobs.” She says squirming back and forth until the ginger tabby jumps up on to the back of the couch.

“You have to get up now Mom. It's time. Time for my party.” Dobby announces, stretching down to rub his head against hers.

Writer Lady checks her phone. “You're right. Let me get changed. It's getting late.” Writer Lady goes into the bedroom and comes back out in a t-shirt and jeans. She does a full turn. “So. How do you like it?” Silence. “Dobby?”

Dobby glares.

“You don't like it?”

“That shirt announces when you last number 2d” Dobby points out.

“Not classy enough huh?” Writer Lady asks. “Are you sure? I painted my nails and everything.”

“Dress. Put on a dress.”

Writer Lady pales considerably.

“You painted your toe nails without shaving your legs again didn't you Mom.”

“No I shaved my legs. Both of them.” Writer Lady announces proudly. “See?” She lifts a leg of her jeans to reveal a bare ankle, currently stubble free.

“Mom. Fo-cus. Put on a dress.”

“Okey dokey.” Writer Lady takes off running from the living room back into the bedroom.

Dobby takes out his recorder and starts talking. “Mom is extremely cooperative and malleable right after a nap.”

She returns in her ultra short British Flag dress.

“Not that one. Classy Mom. Classy.”

“But I like this one. It's fun and flippy.” Writer Lady argues.

“Mom please.”

“O-kay.” Writer Lady says. She returns to the bedroom head hanging. She returns wearing her other dress. “Okay?” she asks.

Dobby nods. “Stockings and shoes please.”

“But it's just us.” Writer Lady says.

“It won't be. Stockings and shoes.”

“No one will see my pretty toes.”

“Shoes.” Dobby reiterates.

Writer Lady starts to negotiate.

“Shoes.” Dobby repeats.

Writer Lady's mouth begins to open.

“Shoes, Mom. Shoes.”

Writer Lady heads back into the bedroom muttering.

“I can hear you.”

The door slams.

Dobby takes this time to explore the living room more closely. Things have been dusted and vacuumed. Looking out the big picture window, he finds nothing. The same yard no red carpet flowing up the walkway, no extra cars parked in the driveway, where are those bodyguards?

“Mom?” Dobby calls.

“Yes kitty.” She calls from the bedroom, I'll be right out.

“Are you going to decorate or is the caterer doing that too?”

“I decorated already can't you see it? I moved a bigger table into the living room it has this lovely cloth on it, I put out tapered red candles that are going to be lit , a pretty golden tray, streamers.”

“That's it?” Dobby asks.

“Besides the food? Pretty much. That hippie ran off with your catnip disco ball.”

“I know you aren't as good at classy as I am Mom. But didn't you research this? Weren't you listening? Because this isn't what I pictured. At all.”

“I know it isn't exactly what you wanted but when I got into the dollar store I just started getting ideas and things kind of got away from me there.” Writer Lady confesses.

“The dollar store. You decorated for the most important night of my life with stuff from the dollar store?”

Dobby runs his paw down his face. “She's a disaster. A walking, talking disaster.”

Ray walks into the kitchen. Shopping bags in hand. “Dobby.”

“How did you get in the house?” Dobby asks.

“Tinkletoes showed me how to pick the lock.” Ray says.

Dobby glares at Ray.

“He showed me where Writer Lady hides the extra key.” Ray says, looking at the floor.

“Do you have anything good in there? Milk, cheese, catnip?” Dobby asks jumping up on to the counter and sticking his head into the bag.

“Sorry Dude. None of that.”

Confirming there is no milk or catnip Dobby removes his head from the bag.

“I have some hard salami, crackers, pickles, potato chips and my personal favorite –chocolate. There might be dip in here some where too. I can't remember. I bring my own snacks to parties. I hit them pretty hard so I like to help out. I kind of have an eating problem.”

Dobby stares waiting for Ray to stop talking.

“I can't stop. I just eat and eat. It's all so good. You know?”

Ray finally stops talking.

“When is everyone getting here?” Dobby asks.

“What?” Ray asks. “Hey man. How are you Dobby? Long time no see.”

Dobby leaves the kitchen and heads back into the living room finding a spot on the couch. “I just don't understand. This was my big night and nothing is happening. Why?”

“Dude. There is an ice storm coming. No sane person is going out.”

“Why are you here?” Dobby asks.

Ray cocks his head to one side and thinks. “Free food man. I love to eat.”

“You brought it with you.” Dobby points out.

“I did. Didn't I?” Ray says. “I rock.”

The living room grows quiet except for the sound of a random home improvement show playing the background.

“I've seen this one before Dobby. The coolest part of it is, they get the really cool TV they wanted. The couple doesn't know they are getting the TV.”

“That happens in all of them. The homeowner gets something they really wanted at the last possible second. They want us to be surprised.”

“Dude...you ruined it for me.” Ray gets up out of the chair and heads back into the kitchen. He meets Tinkletoes, TP, Carp and several others in the kitchen.

“Ray! Glad you could make it man.” Tinkletoes says.

“It was fun.” Ray says sadly.

“Was fun?”

“Was. That cat friend of yours just ruined something very special for me.”

“What?” Tinkletoes asks.

Ray cocks his head to the side and thinks for a minute. “Tink! Dude! Long time no see man.”

“I know. Come on into the living room. Let's get this party started.” Tinkletoes says, carrying in his PS4 gaming system.

“Okay.” Ray says, following Tinkletoes.

“Come on Dobby. Get your furry butt up off the couch. Let's play some games.” Tinkletoes says.

“I don't wanna.” Dobby sits up, stretches, turns his body around so he is facing the other direction and goes back to sleep.

Tinkletoes continues disconnecting Dobby's gaming system and replaces it with the PS4.

“Come on Dobby. I want you to meet Carp. He has carpal tunnel and gets really mad when it makes him screw up a move. It's really funny.”

“Assasin's Creed. We are playing Assasin's Creed. I must learn.” Carp says.

“Dude. We're playing Need For Speed. I have a need man.” Ray argues.

“Don't tell me about your needs. Your needs are creepy.” Carp says.

“Sorry guys. We aren't playing either one first. Tonight is Dobby's night. I have a special program just for him.” Tinkletoes announces.

Dobby looks up. “You made me a devilishly handsome adventurer in a game didn't you? Dobby Cat Apostos Invades the Temple of Gloom. I'll go get my whip.” Dobby says jumping down from the couch.

“It's not that kind of game. I think you'll like it though. It's kind of a sci-fi thing. Dobby you design your own planet, cities, characters and adventures. You do it all. Right down to the food for sale in the marketplace. A buddy of mine wrote it. We set it up with a city you might like until you learn how it works and everything. Go ahead.”

Dobby makes his way over to the controller and taps a button with the tip of his tail. A vibrant lush green city fills the screen. “Is this what I think it is?” Dobby asks.

“Yeah. Catnip. The whole planet is made of catnip. Take that route in to the city.” Tinkletoes instructs. “See Dobby. The buildings are catnip. The marketplace is full of catnip. Even the streets are catnip. See that?” Tinkletoes asks pointing to the far left side of the screen.

“Another feline.”

“A female.” Tinkletoes says.

“A hot one.” Dobby says.

“Over there.” Tinkletoes points to the right side of the screen.

“Another female made out of...catnip.”

“You'd be getting your nip and eating it too. Dude.” Ray says.

Tinkletoes glares at Ray.