Screaming Like A Girl

“This storm is nothing. Says the man who just shot a lawn mower to bits.” Carp says.

“It wasn't a very dependable model.” Tinkletoes says. “I did that woman a favor.”

A thunderous crash sounds directly overhead.

“Holy Crap.” Tinkletoes says.

“Someone disagrees.” TP says giggling.

“Writer Lady's right.” Carp says. “It's safer in the house.”

“We're fine here. It's just a little storm.”

There is a louder crash and the flash outside brightens everything within the shed.

“Whoa.” Tinkletoes exclaims.

The unmistakable sound of hail beating on the roof of the shed begins. It's coming down hard and fast.

“I'm going to the house.” Carp says.

“Too late now. It's hailing.” Tinkletoes says.

Carp opens the shed door. “It's only pea size right now.” Carp looks at the sky still dark and heavy. “In another ten minutes, those clouds are going let loose and this time it's going to be the big stuff. Let's go while we still can.”

“I'm not getting stuck in that house with her. Not the way she's carrying on. You go ahead.” Tinkletoes says. “I'll see you in ten minutes. When the whole mess has blown out of here.”

“I'm warning you, staying in here is a bad idea.” Carp says watching the hail fall, “It's slowing down out there.”

“I've been warned. Now go.” Tinkletoes answers.

Carp sets out across the yard as tiny hail falls around him intermittently.

Tinkletoes looks at TP, “You too. Get going.”

“TP stay. TP wants to see Tinkletoes go Boom!” The faerie giggles.

“Go back to the house.” Tinkletoes says.

The faerie disappears in a puff of smoke and Tinkletoes closes the shed door just as the storm sirens go off.

“The sirens always go off when the storm is over. In ten minutes Carp will be apologizing to me.” Tinkletoes says, setting the alarm on his watch.

Entering through the back door, Carp finds Writer Lady waiting inside with warm dry towels and inquiring looks. She gives Carp a towel and helps brush the random hailstones off.

“Tinkletoes is staying in the shed.”

“What?”

“He says that the storm is not that bad, he's not coming out.”

“That's what he thinks.” Writer Lady says stepping past Carp.

“What are you going to do?”

“Well..I'm going to...”

“He doesn't want to talk to you right now.” Carp says.

“He doesn't have to talk to me, he just has to come into the house.”

Listening intently, giggling at the silliness of humans and their behavior, TP says. “I can make Tinkletoes come into the house.”

Carp and Writer Lady look at the faerie.

“But only if TP can make big noise.”

Ten minutes later, the alarm beeps. “Not another clap of thunder. Not a single drop of rain. I'm right again.” Tinkletoes says, reaching to turn off the watch. “I guess I better open the door so he can come back in.” Standing up, Tinkletoes reaches for the door just as an ominous growl comes from directly above his head. “That doesn't sound good.” The rumbling grows louder. Tinkletoes pushes the door open slightly to find much heavier and darker clouds above. The clouds begin swirling slowly in a counter clockwise direction. Increasing speed as the clouds come closer together. The rumbles grow louder. The wind picks up, increasing the spinning of the clouds.

“It just got ugly.” Tinkletoes says sitting back in the corner of the shed watching the door. “I'm thinking I got three options. Sit here and wait to die. Shoot myself, sit here, and wait to die.”

The sound of the wind grows louder like a train coming at the shed at full speed. It lifts the shed and drops it back down repeatedly, making the windows rattle, and the roof creak.

“Or I can die running for the house.”

Wheels turn. There is a ping! “All this sitting around is for the birds anyway.” Tinkletoes stands to his full height, brushes himself off and runs stopping in the yard long enough to glare at the tornado and flip it the bird.

TP's voice can be heard surrounding Tinkletoes. “Silly human.” The tornado changes direction, heading straight for the self-proclaimed mercenary he turns tail and runs for the house sliding through the open back door, screaming like a girl.

The moment Tinkletoes slides into home the tornado disappears, the rumbles go silent. Only light gray clouds are in the sky.  Birds start singing. Tinkletoes looks at Dobby who is sitting in front of him on a stack of storage containers, grins for a second, and drops his head back down on the floor. The ginger tabby reaches over and licks the mercenary on the end of his nose.

Reaching up to pet the cat, “Hey buddy, good to see you. I missed you.” Tinkletoes says.

“That wasn't so hard now was it?” Writer Lady comments handing Carp a First Aid Kit, some clean towels, and leaving the room.

Taking the supplies and putting them down on a nearby table Carp looks at Tinkletoes closely waiting for his moment.

“Amazing.” Carp says.

“What's amazing?” Tinkletoes asks.

“My mind must be playing tricks on me because I saw you come sliding in through the back door but I could have sworn a heard some girl screaming.”