Smokin' Hot Super Stud

“Very Funny.” Tinkletoes says standing up and brushing himself off. As he closes the back door, Carp hands him a towel. “Do you think she heard?” He whispers.

TP pops into the room and says, “Carp, Writer Lady wants to know if you and your girlfriend want to join us for pizza.” TP giggles.

Tinkletoes hangs his head.

“There's your answer.” Carp says and turns to TP. “Yes we'll be there in a few minutes.” TP disappears in a puff of smoke.

“Relax. It will be a fun joke tonight then it will be forgotten about completely.”

“No.” Tinkletoes shakes his head. “That's it. I officially have no chance with her. Writer Lady will never see me as the smokin' hot, virile, super stud that I am now.”

“Super Stud?”

“Yeah, something wrong with that?”

“I'm just having trouble picturing that.” Carp says.

“I don't think I like you trying to picture it.” Tinkletoes says. “I'm a Super Stud Dammit!”

“Okay.” Carp turns his head away for a second to stifle his laughter.

“I have to make sure she doesn't forget it.” Tinkletoes says.

“Are you sure she's noticed?” Carp asked.

“Oh yeah, she's noticed.” Tinkletoes answers. “I can feel it.”

“This isn't a Star Wars movie we're living in here.”

Tinkletoes jerks his head up. “Don't disrespect the SW unless you wanna rumble.”

“No.”

Tinkletoes leans in close. “Darth Vader is real. One word from me and he will totally put the hurt on you.” Tinkletoes whispers. “Capesh?”

Carp nods.

“That's not what I was talking about though. I was referring to my Super Stud Sense. A man knows these things. I have to remind Writer Lady of how hot I am, make her forget about today's incident.”

Writer Lady's voice can be heard calling from the kitchen. “Pizza's ready! If you two love birds don't stop making out there won't be any left.”

“This is going to be a long night.” Carp says.

“There you two are. You almost missed out.” Writer Lady is standing by the stove keeping watch over the last four pieces. “You need to hurry. Dylan has come in twice already hoping to hear that you aren't hungry.”

“Where is everyone?” Tinkletoes asks.

“In the living room watching TV.”

Tinkletoes grins at Carp. Carp gets a plate and quickly takes custody of his two pieces leaving the room. “Thanks for the food.” Tinkletoes says pulling out his most dazzling smile.

“You're welcome. There would have been some bar-b-q but I was worried, came home early, and forgot to bring leftovers.”

“No, really. This is great.” Tinkletoes takes a step forward standing in Writer's Lady's space. “You are an amazing woman. Have I ever told you that before?”

“Thank you. You still have to replace the lawn mower.” Writer Lady answers.

“Will do. Pretty lady. Will do.” Tinkletoes smiles again. Taking his plate, he turns around and heads into the living room.

TP pops into the kitchen next to Writer Lady's shoulder.

“What was that about?” Writer Lady asks.

Stifling a laugh TP shakes his head and pops back out of the room.

Tinkletoes sits down next to Carp. “I have got it going on.” He says.

Carp looks at Tinkletoes and waits for more information.

“I turned up the heat in there a little. Poor woman. She never knew what hit her.”

“Did she take you in her arms right there in the kitchen? Pin you against the stove and take advantage of you? Did you leave her in the corner drooling and tearing at her clothes? What happened?”

“She said, 'You still have to replace the lawn mower.' She said it without yelling or hitting me. I was in her space. If she wasn't hot for me she would have hurt me.”

Carp rolls his eyes.

“What she doesn't know is this isn't over. I'm just getting started.”

“Really?”

“Of course, I just laid the foundation. I have to turn up the heat now. That's the only way the concrete is going to set.”

“You know, there are children here.” Carp points out.

“That's what bedtime is for. I think I need to go help with the dishes.” Tinkletoes says standing up. “Here let me take that for you.” He says taking Carp's plate and pizza.

“I'm not finished.” Carp says grabbing his pizza at the last second. “We used paper plates. There are no dishes.” He says to Tinkletoes' back.

“No.” Writer Lady says.

“No?”

“We used paper plates. The pizza came in a box. There are no dishes. So the answer is 'No' there is nothing you can help me with.”

“How about the trash can? I'll bet it's full. I'll just take that out for you.” Tinkletoes says walking over to the can. “It's empty.”

“I took it out already.” Writer Lady says.

Tinkletoes looks around for something to do. The kitchen is immaculate. He finds a well lit spot in Writer Lady's line of site. Yawning, Tinkletoes stretches, raising his arms up over his head. “It's been a long day. I'm tired.” Bringing his arms down slowly he starts flexing things. Writer Lady yawns and closes her eyes.

“Look...dammit...look!” Tinkletoes says.

“Did you say something?”

“No?”

“It must be House and Mural Man. We have an agreement about the noise level at night, they must have forgotten again. I'll go check on them.”

“Let me do that.” Tinkletoes volunteers.

“Are you sure? House doesn't like you much.”

“She's a lot happier since she met Mural Man. There won't be a problem.”

Writer Lady looks at Tinkletoes doubtingly.

“No. Really. I've got this.”