Demons and Dragons

“I knew conjuring up a demon was a bad idea.”  Peter says.

Dylan looks up at Peter, nodding in agreement.

Tinkletoes squats down speaking quietly with the two boys as Carp watches. “We didn't have a choice.  That dragon in the bathroom is huge.  He almost reaches the ceiling.  We agreed as the men of this house that conjuring a demon was the best defense.  We can't back down on this now.  Majority rules.  Men are better at war than women.  This has to be a unified front.”

The boys look at Tinkletoes uncertainly.

“We're the men.  We know what's best.  We have to stick together on this, protect the females, they are fragile.”

Carp looks everywhere but at Tinkletoes when he makes this last comment.

“Duuude.  You rock.”  Ray calls across the room, giving Writer Lady a Rock hand.  Ray turns to Tinkletoes, Carp and the kids.   “Writer Lady is totally kicking demon butt.  It looks like TP's having a bad day too.”

Looking up Tinkletoes, Carp, Peter and Dylan see Dobby, Writer Lady and TP all gathered around cauldron which is no longer glowing.

Writer Lady is saying a lot.  Really fast.  Waving the Big Red Flashlight around for emphasis; Dobby, TP and the demon all take turns ducking to avoid being conked on the head.  TP looks a little pale and Dobby is looking for someplace to hide.  The demon is getting goosebumps while it sits in stunned silence.

Tinkletoes stands up.   Leaning over he asks Carp, “She should be raising the roof.   Why can't we hear anything?”

“Profanity sac.”

“What?”

“Profanity sac.  It surrounds the angry person and the sources of the anger so that little ears don't hear the grown-up saying all the bad words.  TP messaged me before he put it up.”

“When does it come down?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“TP is monitoring her thoughts.   When all the bad words stop piling up in Writer Lady's mind waiting for their turn to be spewed out her anger will have dissolved to the point he can remove the sac.”

“How bad is it?”

“I can see the words as she says them.   We don't have enough soap in the house for such language.”

“Can we charge her for them?  Something like, I don't know, a dollar a word.”  Tinkletoes asks.

Carp shakes his head.  “She doesn't make enough money for that.”   Carp answers studying the display.  “My goodness.”   Carp says.

“Why can't I see the words?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“You don't read silently.”  He answers not turning away from watching the sac. “Uh oh.”   Carp says.  “Whatever you do, don't make eye contact.”

TP points to Tinkletoes, Carp and the two boys.   Writer Lady turns her head. Carp turns his head away just in time.

“She saw me...looked right at me.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Duuuude.  You're toast.”  Ray says.

“Scatter, quickly.  Quick-ly.”  Carp says.

“I'm gonna miss you man.”  Ray says looking at Tinkletoes.   “Before you die, can I have your X box?”

Writer Lady walks across the room, her eyes boring holes into Tinkletoes' head.  Tinkletoes guides Peter and Dylan over to Ray.  The self-proclaimed mercenary stands tall, bracing himself for a grueling battle, armed with only his defensive skills and sharp (cough) wit Tinkletoes prepares to...?  Writer Lady crosses the room aimed and ready to fire, she slows down, looks sternly at the group of men and says, “Don't move,” walking past them and into the bathroom.  She closes the door behind her.

Feeling a tug on his pant leg Tinkletoes looks down.

“Aren't you gonna help her?”  Dylan asks.  “Females are fragile.  Remember?”

Carp comes over to see what's going on.  He mouths the words 'Be nice' to Tinkletoes.

Tinkletoes kneels down and says, “Yes females are fragile, most of the time.”

“Females are also special; every month they become stealth ninjas powered by chocolate.” Carp explains.

Dylan processes this.  “Like a superhero?”  He asks.

“Yes.  Just like a superhero.”  Carp says.  “Except they are a special kind of superhero and when they are in full stealth mode you have to stay out of their way.”

“Why?”  Dylan asks.

“Because at their full power they cannot always tell the difference between the good guys and the bad guys.”  Tinkletoes explains, he looks at the closed bathroom door wondering why there is no yelling, banging or other sounds of destruction.  “They just destroy everything.”  He says wondering if another profanity sac was put up.

“Like Hulk?”  Dylan asks.

“Yeah.  Just like a Hulk.”  Carp answers.

“Will she get big?”

“She doesn't need to the anger is big enough.”   Tinkletoes says.

“Why didn't we just tell Writer Lady about the dragon to begin with and ask her to let out her superpowers?”

“Because they don't work that way.”   Tinkletoes says.

“Why not?”  Dylan asks.

“We aren't that lucky.”  He answers.

“What happens now?”  Dylan asks.

“We wait.”

“What's gonna happen to the dragon?”  Dylan asks.

“We have to wait and see.”  Carp says.

“Home.   The dragon will go home.”  Tinkletoes answers.

Dylan processes this looking around the room.  “What about the demon?”  He asks.  “Did he go home?”

Tinkletoes, Carp, Peter and Ray all look up to see the empty cauldron at the same time.