Demon On The Loose

“Sh...”  Tinkletoes says not finishing his word.  Little ears.

They scatter, searching the house.  Finding nothing.   Tinkletoes, Ray, Carp, Peter, and Dylan meet back at the cauldron.

“Where'd it go?”  Tinkletoes asks.

Everyone takes turns shaking their heads.

“Duuude.  He totally disappeared.”  Ray says.

“That was damn near a seven foot tall demon with a rack bigger than a fighting bull.  Look at this house dude where the h...”  Tinkletoes says.

“Little ears.”  Carp says.

Tinkletoes glares at Carp.  “Where the heck could it have gone?”  Tinkletoes is answered with blank stares.   “We have checked all the rooms?”  He asks.

Everyone nods.

“I checked the bonus room.   Ray where did you look?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Duuude.  The kitchen.”

“Where the food is of course.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Of course.”  Ray repeats and smiles.

“Carp?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“I checked the living room.”

“Peter?”

“Dylan checked the laundry room.  I checked High Command.”

“So we checked every room.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Except one.”  Carp says pointing to Writer Lady's bedroom.

“It's got to be in there.  It's the only room left.”  Tinkletoes says.  “In a situation like this it's best if the soldier with the most experience in this terrain takes the lead.  So which one of us is going in?”

Tinkletoes, Ray and Carp all look at each other waiting for one of the others to volunteer.  After several minutes, all three men look down at the two boys.

“I think we should agree right now that the boys should stay in the living room.”  Carp says.

Tinkletoes looks at Carp.  “I agree.   It wouldn't be right for these two to have to take on a seven foot demon.   That leaves us men.   Who knows the terrain?”

There is a marked silence.

“So is it that none of us have been in a lady's bedroom before or is it that this is Writer Lady's bedroom?”

Silence.

“Rocks, paper, scissors?”   Ray asks.

Tinkletoes and Ray prepare to play.

“Really?  Isn't there a more mature way to handle this?”  Carp asks.

“Pissin' contest?”  Tinkletoes asks.

Ray starts to unzip.

“Outside.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Sorry man.  I forgot.”  Ray says and starts walking to the front door.

Carp coughs.  “How about if we just draw straws?”

“Yeah.”   Tinkletoes says grudgingly.

“Peter do you know what it means to draw straws?”

“Yes sir.”

“Would you please go get us the needed supplies?”  Carp asks.

“Yes.”  Peter says.  He and Dylan run into the kitchen.

Ray continues to the front door.

“Ray, there's no pissin' contest.  We're going to do something else.”  Tinkletoes says.

“We're drawing straws.”  Carp says, coughing and looking at Tinkletoes.

“Ray.   Zip your fly.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Dude.”  Ray says zipping up.  He returns to the center of the room.  “I don't know how drawing pictures of straws is going to help anything.”

Carp starts to explain. Tinkletoes coughs and when Carp looks over at him shakes his head.  There is no time for explanations or diagrams.

The two boys return with three straws.   Each takes one from Dylan's hand.

“A new straw.  Cool.”  Ray says drawing a full length straw.

Tinkletoes and Carp each quickly grab a straw hoping to get the other long one.

  Carp holds up his full length straw.   “It looks like you win Tink.”

“Yeah.  The booby prize.”   Tinkletoes says.  “I am the one with the most battle experience.   It is Writer Lady's bedroom.  There could be anything in there.  Trip wires, land mines, even lasers.”

“Or a demon?”  Carp says.

“This is a job for man who's been to war.”  Tinkletoes says.  “Stand back men.  I'm going in.”

“Duuude.  If you die...”  Ray says.

“No.”  Tinkletoes says as he leaves the room.

Carp feels a tug on his pant leg and looks down to Dylan.

“Is he going to go kaboom?”  Dylan asks.   “Because of Writer Lady's lasers.”

“Writer Lady doesn't have any lasers in her bedroom.   If she did the demon would have tripped them.”

“Dude.   That is brilliant man.”

“Carp is bright but not bright enough.”  TP says giggling.

“What's that supposed to mean?”  Carp asks.

“Damon the demon makes things go boom.”  The faerie giggles.

“How does he make things go boom?”

“I can't tell.”  TP says.  “It's a secret.”   He whispers.

“No it's okay.  You can stay right there.  Just keep doing what you're doing.” Tinkletoes says in the direction of the bedroom doorway.  The self proclaimed mercenary backs into the living room slowly.

“Tinkletoes said “Hi” to Damon.”  TP giggles.

“It's about time you showed up.”  Tinkletoes says.   “How do we handle that thing?”

“That's for me to know and you to figure out.”  TP says.

“I oughtta...”  Tinkletoes says raising his fist.

“That's not going to help.”  Carp points out.

“There's a dragon in the bathroom, a demon in the bedroom and a jack a** in the living room.”   Tinkletoes says glaring at TP.  “What am I supposed to do?”

“What's he doing in there?”  Carp asks.

Tinkletoes turns and looks towards Writer Lady's bedroom.  “Making a mess.” He turns back to Carp.   “He's checking out her underwear drawer.  There were lacy things hanging off of his horns.  They had holes in them.”

“Lacy things make Damon happy.”

“That's not going to make Writer Lady happy.”  Dylan says.

“No it's not.”  Tinkletoes says glaring at TP.  “How do we get that thing out of there?”

“More importantly how much lacy stuff is in that drawer?”  Carp asks.

  Everyone looks at Carp.

“Lacy stuff means Damon stays busy until we've figured out what to do.”  He explains.

“Good point.”  Tinkletoes says.  “Dobby should know. Where's Dobby?”

“Over here.”  Dobby says entering the room.

“Where have you been?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Helping Mom.”

“The demon is in the bedroom.  He's playing with Writer Lady's lacy stuff.   It's a good thing.   We don't know how to handle him.”

“Ask TP.”

“TP refuses to help.  We need to know how much of that lacy stuff  your Mom has.   Is there a lot?  It would keep that thing occupied until we figure out what to do.”

“She doesn't have much of that stuff around.”  Dobby says.

“Which means we need a plan of attack.  Yesterday.”  Tinkletoes says.

“What do you know about him?”  Dobby asks.

“He likes lacy stuff and he likes to blow things up.”

“He's a demon.”   Ray says.

“What do we know about demons in general?   What makes them happy?”  Carp asks.

“Peter.”   Dylan says, gesturing for his brother to let him whisper something in his ear.

“Yes.”   Peter answers.

Dylan continues whispering.  Peter nods.

“You tell them Dylan it's your idea.”

“Hellboy's a demon and he likes kitties.   Dobby's a kitty he should go play with the demon.”