Here's Where Things Get Complicated

“Those are my panties.  He's wearing my panties.”  Writer Lady says.

“Mi'lady?”  Diomedes inquires.

Remembering the dragon in the bathroom Writer Lady backs into the room and shuts the door quickly.  Facing Diomedes she leans back against the vanity and pastes on a smile.   “Could you stay here for a minute?”  She asks.

“I thought I was going to see my place of birth.”  Diomedes says.

“You are, but something has come up.”  She mutters, “Up out of the cauldron and into my panties, the heathen.”

“Sorry?”  Diomedes asks.

“If you could just wait here for me.”

“Of course Mi'lady.”  Diomedes says with a nod.

“Whatever you hear...don't open the door.”  Writer Lady says.

“I will do whatever you ask.”

“Thank you Diomedes.”   She says.

The dragon nods.

Opening the door, Writer Lady steps into the hallway closing the door behind her, by then Tinkletoes is standing at the demon's side.   Writer Lady glares at Tinkletoes.

“I didn't do it.”  He says.

“Yet you are standing next to the demon that is wearing my panties on his horns and doing nothing.”  Writer Lady says.

“I can explain.”

Writer Lady raises an eyebrow and waits.

“How much do you know about demons?”  He asks.

There is silence.

“I don't know much either.  Did you know that Freddy Krueger was a demon?”

More silence.

“I didn't know.  You were kind of sympathetic to Freddy Krueger that one time...so I thought I might mention it.”

Writer Lady quietly crosses her arms in front of her.

“TP finally showed up.  This demon has a name.   It's Damon.  Damon is kind of big and stupid.”

Damon looks down at Tinkletoes sadly.

“That's what TP said.  I'm sorry.”  Tinkletoes says looking at Damon.  He looks back at Writer Lady.  “Damon is kind of big and stupid.   There's one problem. He makes things explode.  The upside is he's easily entertained.  It turns out lacy panties are his thing.”

“Those were my panties.”  Writer Lady says.

“It was for a good cause?”   Tinkletoes asks nodding.

Damon nods in time with Tinkletoes.

Writer Lady's face grows red.  Her eyes narrow.

Feeling a breeze Tinkletoes looks up at Damon and sees the demon nodding.  The lace panties are swishing in the air looking spent and lifeless.  “Hey man. You're not helping.”  Tinkletoes says looking

up at Damon sternly.  “I told you to leave the ones with the little red hearts on them alone.  Too girlie.”

“I'll try to remember that the next time I go shopping for lingerie.”  Writer Lady says glaring.

Damon nods at Writer Lady with great seriousness.

“So um...do you have any more?”

“What?”

“Panties.  The lacy ones.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Not in your color.”   Writer Lady says.

“I'm only asking because they keep Damon occupied.”

“I know.  I don't have any more.  The demon has found and destroyed the only lacy things I own.”

“That's what Dobby said.”

“Then why are you asking me?”  She asks.

“He's a cat.   How much attention does he pay to those things?”

“Good point.  Maybe it's time Damon went home.”  Writer Lady suggests.

“We have yet to establish an evacuation plan.   There's been a breakdown in communication.  Our source is not cooperating.”

“TP?”

“I have him confined and under watch but the lil' guy won't budge.”  Tinkletoes says.  “Big and stupid was all TP would say.”

“Mi'lady?”

Writer Lady turns to see light coming through a narrow slit.  The bathroom door was opening, slowly, but it was opening.  “Coming Diomedes.”  She pokes her head in through the door, there is muffled talking, she shuts the bathroom door closing it tight.  She rushes back to Tinkletoes and Damon.   “Sorry.”

“Was that the dragon?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Yes that was Diomedes.  I was trying to get him out of the bathroom and talked him into moving into High Command.  I was just taking him over when I saw Damon.”

“If Diomedes is a dragon how did he open the door?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“That's a good question.   Feel free to ask him later.”

“Don't you want to know?”

“At this point, no, I don't want to know.”

“He's a dragon.   No thumbs.”   Tinkletoes says holding both hands up, bending then straightening his thumbs.

“Look around you.  In this house, magic happens.  There's a faerie in the living room, a dragon in the bathroom and a demon standing in front of me.  I don't care about the why at this moment.  Right now I'm concerned with how we can put things in some kind of working order.”

“Send them back.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Sending them back doesn't work.  I already tried that.  They just return with more.”

“You're going to have to come up with something.  Sooner or later that dragon is going to poop and I'm not cleaning it up.”  He says.

“Excuse me?”

Tinkletoes looks up at Damon “I think we've reach a stalemate here.”  He says.

“Keep Damon busy.  I'll get some information out of TP.”   Writer Lady says turning for the living room.  “Stay away from Diomedes until we get this sorted out too.”

The self-proclaimed mercenary nods, waits a couple of minutes and starts walking towards the bathroom.

“I mean it!”  Writer Lady calls.

Tinkletoes turns around and guides Damon into the bedroom.  “Those little hearts look silly as hell on you.”   He says.

Damon nods, the little red hearts fluttering furiously.

“Okay TP.  I've had enough of your games.  Let's talk.”   Writer Lady says sitting down on the couch next to the TV tray the faerie's enclosure is sitting on.   The faerie is sitting on a tiny stool on the bottom of the glass.  His clothes rumpled, hair disheveled and pouting for all he's worth.

“No.”   TP says.

“TP you know that calling forth a demon was the wrong thing to do.”

“TP was helping.”

“Who were you helping?”

“Him, them guys,”  TP says pointing to Carp, Ray, Peter, Dylan and Furnatche. “Everyone.”

Writer Lady takes a deep breath before speaking.  “The thing is I talked to the big, scary dragon.  His name is Diomedes, he's not dangerous and bears no ill will towards anyone.  We don't need Damon to kill Diomedes. For the record nothing dies in this house ever.    Unless you see a bug.  Damon can go home now.”

“Damon can't go home.”  TP says.

“Damon can and will be sent home now.”  Writer Lady says.

It's TP's turn to sigh.  “Damon's big and stupid he makes things go Kaboom!  No one wants him there.”

“He's a friend and you wanted to help him.”  She says.

TP nods.

“Diomedes is here.  You said he makes things go Kaboom!  I can't have him here. I don't have the means to clean up those kinds messes TP.   Why don't you take Damon to Faerie?”

“TP took Damon to Faerie, he made a unicorn explode and sat on a village of pixies.   Faerie sent him back to the Underworld.  The Underworld left him at the door hoping...”

“Hoping some idiots would call forth a demon.”

TP nods.

“Those idiots just happened to be in my house at the time.   Yippee.”   Writer Lady says shaking her head.

Tinkletoes enters the living room with Damon in tow.  “We have a problem.”

Damon's eyes are large with fright, his skin is pale and breathing is labored.  There is a bottle of sunscreen stuck up his nose.