A Man Called Tink

“Yeah, but for how long.”   Writer Lady mutters.

“What?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“I said...okay.”  She answers not looking up from her work.

“I get what's going on.”  Tinkletoes says.  “You don't think I'm serious do you?   I bet you don't think I'm serious about anything, do you?”

Writer Lady looks up, “No. I know you can be serious.  I believe that if I were a box of ammo, a video game, a cupcake, or one of those toys,” thinking for a moment Writer Lady snaps her fingers and continues, “a lightsaber which are fairly cool I have to admit, there wouldn't be a doubt in my mind that you weren't serious.  But about this...”  Looking down she returns to her work.

“First of all I design those lightsabers.  They are one of a kind...collectibles.  I'm a great friend to Dobby.”  Tinkletoes counters.

“You are.  A great friend.  You have brought others with you just as TP has.  It has made life interesting.”

“And?”

“It's never boring.”   She admits looking up and giving Tinkletoes a brief smile.  Just as quickly the smile disappears.   “I can't help but wonder how long it will be before there is a new video game, a tastier cupcake, a new lightsaber.  Will I even have had the chance to notice that the winds have changed before I find that you've disappeared?”

“I am a mercenary.”

Writer Lady raises an eyebrow.

“Is it my fault we haven't had a decent invasion from space aliens?”   He asks. Tinkletoes crosses the room to look into Writer Lady's eyes.  “I won't lie to you.  There will be missions.  I will have to leave but I will always come back.  To this house.  To you.”

Three shadows stand in the doorway watching.   Two men and one faerie. 

 “Is he serious?”  Ray whispers to Carp on his right.  “Duuude...”  Ray looks at TP on his left.   The faerie covers his mouth and giggles into his hand.  Carp quickly wipes a small tear from one eye.  Ray shakes his head.  “Do you think I should say something?”  Ray asks.   “It looks like it's pretty serious in there...like a soap opera.”

“He sounds just like Eric from 'The Beautiful and the Short Sighted'.”  Carp agrees.

“Someone get a camera.”  TP says giggling.

Carp glares at TP.

“But, this is so...so...duuude.”  Ray says.

“It's kinda girlie...”  Dylan popping his head in between Ray and Carp.

“I could write this.”  Carp announces.   “The Saga of a Man Called Tink.”

“Isn't a saga a long sweeping story of a family spanning many generations that takes place all over the world?”  Peter asks from his spot behind Dylan.

“Yes it can be.”  Carp answers.  “Tinkletoes went...has...is...destined to do amazing things.”

“But if you wrote it now wouldn't it be set mostly in one place?”  The boy asks.

“I'll write a play.”  Carp says. 

“Duuude...if we're doing a play can I be the cat?”   Ray asks.

“We aren't doing a play right now and you were already the cat.”   Carp points out.

“Oh yeah.”

“Shhhh!   He's leaning forward.”

Leaning in Tinkletoes whispers into Writer Lady's ear, “What is it that I can do to prove that I am serious about you?”

The room grows quiet.

“Hop on one foot.”

“What?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“Hop on one foot.”

Tinkletoes closes his eyes and hops on one foot.

“Now get up on your tippy toes and turn around like a ballerina.”   Writer Lady says.

“You can't be serious.”   He says.

“What...not manly enough for you?”  Writer Lady challenges.

“I prefer to be the hero.”

“If you won't do something simple like a ballerina dance why should I trust you with something more important?  More heroic.  Isn't that how an exceptional warrior, a man legends are made of proves himself by training his own dragon or pulling the sword from the stone?”

“By dancing around like a ballerina?”

“The legend has to find the sword the stone is embedded in first doesn't he? Humble beginnings soldier boy.  Humble beginnings.”   Writer Lady says.  She crosses her arms and waits.

“You really do have a mean streak.”  Tinkletoes says.

There is a rumble from the living room.

Ray turns his head and looks in the direction of the living room.   He turns to Carp.  “Dude...we really have to say something.”

“Why doesn't he just kiss her already?”   Carp whispers.

“Dude.”

Carp turns his head and looks at Ray.

“We need to say something.  That big lizard is gonna explode again any minute.”

There is another rumble, a louder one, getting Carp's attention.  He turns and looks in the direction of the living room.  Carp turns back towards Tinkletoes and Writer Lady.  “Things aren't going the way I'd hoped anyway.”  He says, he coughs into his fist loudly to get Tinkletoes' attention.

Tinkletoes and Writer Lady look in the direction of the cough to find...an audience.  Looking at each other for a moment they look back at the...um...crowd.  

“Yes?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“There is something going on the living room that needs your attention.”   Carp says.

“Dobby's kicking your butts, huh?   I'll be right out.”

There is an even louder rumbling, a groan and an “Oh my...” heard coming from the living room.

“What's going on Carp?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“It's Diomedes...”  Carp says.

“He's not well.”  TP says giggling.

“Dude...that big lizard thing keeps changing colors really really fast.   He doesn't look right.  He looks...green.”

Tinkletoes looks at Writer Lady who responds, “Green is his default color.  What have you been doing in there?   All of the activity may be confusing his physiology.”

“There was this ball/track thing and we took the ball out and used a cheese ball instead but it wasn't going very fast so we sprayed some non-stick stuff on it...”

The next thump rattles the windows and a pained groaning noise comes from the far side of the house.  

 Dylan rushes forward to announce  “The big dragon is sick.   He's pooping. Everywhere.”