When Examining A Dragon...

“I would prefer not to.” Diomedes says.

Tinkletoes looks squarely at Diomedes.   “Dragon, we can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way.”

“Isn't the dragon bigger than you are?”  House asks.

“I'll still win.”   Tinkletoes says.

“Doesn't the dragon breathe fire?”   House continues.

“Sometimes.”

“Doesn't he have magical powers?”

“Yeah.  I'm still going to win.”

“How?”  House asks.

“I'm more determined than he is.  Never underestimate a man on a mission.” Tinkletoes responds.   “Besides, there's the whole "diarrhea wearing him out thing" so that he has nothing inside left to breathe fire with.   It's possible he has too little energy to forge magic too.”

“So it's more the whole “parasite sucking his energy up” thing that gives you the advantage?” Mural Man asks.

“Um...yeah.”

“You're okay with that?”

Tinkletoes looks at Mural Man.  “This is a fire breathing dragon with the ability to forge magic.  Yeah, I'm okay with it.”  Turning back to Diomedes he says, “Bend over.”

Diomedes looks at Tinkletoes eyes wide.

“He seems nervous about this.  Perhaps if you reassured Diomedes in some way.”  Mural Man suggests.

Tinkletoes mutters for a moment, he looks at Diomedes and says.   “There's nothing to be scared of.  Dobby is wearing gloves.  He's gonna be gentle about the whole thing.”

“No I'm not.”   Dobby says.

“Of course you will.”   Tinkletoes says.  Turning back to Diomedes he says, “I know he helped conjure a demon to kill you and stuff but it was just because he thought you were a threat.  Dobby was just protecting his home.   Once we found out that you're okay, well, we haven't thought about killing you again for a second.   Dobby won't hurt you.  You can trust him.”

“I'm not sticking my paw up there.”  Dobby says.

“You have the suit, the gloves...the way cool helmet.”

Dobby shakes his head.

“Go get Ray for me then.”  Tinkletoes says.

“Ray isn't going to do this.”  Dobby says.

“I can get Ray to do anything as long as I have cupcakes.”

“I thought you were Lord and Emperor over all the cupcakes of this realm.” Dobby says.

“I am.  No one eats my cupcakes unless I invite them to.  As a leader it's important to know what motivates your men.  A goodie is a powerful motivator for a man like Ray.”

“Wait a minute Dobby."  Mural Man says the ginger tabby.  "Isn't there a less invasive way to do this?”  He asks, looking at Tinkletoes.

“Probably.”  Tinkletoes answers without looking away from Diomedes.  “Okay dragon, bend over.”

“You aren't going to look for one?” Mural Man asks.

“One what?”

“A less invasive way to help?”

“No.”

Mural Man looks at Diomedes.   “Are you sure this wasn't the cheese balls?  Maybe a bit of a stomach bug?”

Diomedes thinks for a moment and says, “Bugsy did not mention any problems when we arrived.”

“Bugsy?”  Mural Man asks.

“My stomach bug.”  The dragon responds.

“So you are sick.”  Tinkletoes says.

“No.”

“You just said you have a stomach bug.”  Mural Man points out.

“Bugsy.  He is the bug that lives in my stomach.  He is in charge of making sure everything runs smoothly.  If something is wrong he tells me.”

“Why didn't you mention this sooner?”   Tinkletoes demands.

“Nobody asked.”   TP says.  The faerie has been released from Writer Lady's enclosed hands and been placed in an old cricket cage.  He is lounging on a pool chaise he made appear when Writer Lady invited him to have a seat.   “All dragons have a stomach bug.”

Furnatche looks from TP's cage to his stomach and whimpers.

“Stomach bugs don't travel well.  This doesn't have to be TP's fault.”  The faerie points out.

“But it still might be.”  Writer Lady counters.

“That little faerie dude has a lot of information.”   Ray says studying TP.

“Information that we need.”  Writer Lady agrees.   “But the trick is figuring out how to extract it from him.”

“So tell us more about this bug.”   Tinkletoes says.

“We have lived together symbiotically since my hatching day.  I share my food and give him a warm, safe place to live and he keeps my digestive system healthy. He notifies me of any unseemly activities going on inside.”

“How do you talk?”   Tinkletoes asks.

“Bugsy sends messages through my neural pathways that get interpreted and become random thoughts.”

“How can you tell the difference between that bug's messages and your own thoughts?”   Mural Man asks.

“He signs his name of course.”   Diomedes responds.

“Of course.”  Dobby parrots.

Tinkletoes looks at Mural Man.   “Could I have a word with you?”

Mural Man slides along the carpet and then the living room wall to meet Tinkletoes in a far corner of the room.  “You and House spent some time in faerie.”  Tinkletoes says.  “How do we kill this thing?”

“Kill it?”

“Yeah kill it.   Send it home.  Get it the hell out of here.  I don't want to do the demon thing again, that was a bad idea.”

There is a silence as Mural Man waits for more information.

“This dragon is crazy.”  Tinkletoes announces.  “He says there's a bug living in his stomach.  There are probably lots of bugs in there.  Bugs living inside his head, eating his brain.”

“Not necessarily, Diomedes talking about Bugsy reminded me of something.  I think I remember seeing something about it in one of the faerie museums.  We should ask Diomedes to invite Bugsy up for a chat.” Mural Man says.

“He can do that?”

“I don't think it's the way things are usually done but if they truly are living symbiotically then it should be possible.”

“Okay.  That'll be your job.”  Tinkletoes says returning to Diomedes.