A Dragon In The Shower

Without skipping a beat Tinkletoes stands up, raising the dry erase board from the floor he calls the rest of his command over for the official briefing.

“This mission has three objectives...” he begins.   Tinkletoes' eyes follow Writer Lady until she disappears into the kitchen completely.

 Dobby quietly follows Writer Lady into the kitchen while everyone else's backs are turned.

“Mom?”

“Yes kitty.” Writer Lady answers as she opens cabinets pulling out supplies and placing them on the counters.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes sweetie.  Why wouldn't I be?”

“Tinkletoes didn't mean it.   He just sees things a little bit differently.”

Writer Lady quietly continues organizing the space, picking out the needed tools and preparing for a big mess. “I'm okay.  It's just when you have been cautious, opening up to someone can take a lot out of you.   As silly as it is, the dry erase board incident makes me wonder...”

“If it's okay to stay opened up?”  Dobby asks.

“Yes it does.”

“I knew you would be needing this.”   Dobby says.   The ginger tabby holds up a recorder.   “Press the button.” 

  A recording plays.

“whatever it is we're doing here. Think about your Mom, what she would want. If it came right down to it, if she had to choose would she want that romantic moment with the fireworks, the music playing all around and well...me or would she want to know that Diomedes is well again and no longer suffering.”

“A clean house, she would love to have a clean house too!” House exclaims.

“She'd probably want that too.” Tinkletoes agrees.

“She would want Diomedes to be okay before anything else.” Dobby says.

“That's what we love about her. Right?” Tinkletoes asks.

“Yeah.” Dobby agrees.

“It's okay to stay opened up Mom.   It's okay.”   Dobby says.

“Thanks kitty.”  Writer Lady says giving Dobby back the recorder.

“I've got to get back before anyone notices I'm gone.”

 “They are to clean up Diomedes, clean up the living room, and make a really big batch of noodles.  Magical ones.  Your assignments are fairly clear.  Let's get going men.”

“I'm not gonna do that.”  Dobby says pointing to the board.

“Why not?”

“I'm a cat.   Cats don't like water.”

“You're helping Diomedes take a shower.   You're not getting in yourself.” Tinkletoes points out.

“I don't want to help the dragon either.”  Carp says.   “No offense, turning to face Diomedes he continues, “I've just never given a dragon a shower before.”

“Nor have I had a shower before.”  Diomedes responds.

“You're perfect for each other.”  Tinkletoes says.

“I don't know, the shower is on the small side.”  Carp says.

“That's what makes you important Carp.  You're going to make sure he doesn't get turned around and break something.”   Tinkletoes says.

“Perhaps if we just took him outside and hosed him down.”  Carp suggests.

“You can't.  The neighbors might see him.”  Tinkletoes says.

“I could let Diomedes eat the neighbor.   No witnesses.”

“If you'll excuse my interruption sir, I'm not that kind of dragon.”   Diomedes announces.

“He's not that kind of dragon.   Get going.”  Tinkletoes says.  “You too Dobby.”

The ginger tabby looks up at Diomedes.   The dragon is still pale.  His scales are coated with excrement.

“Okay Diomedes let's head to the bathroom.”   Dobby says.

“Don't forget the towels.”  Tinkletoes says.

Feline, dragon, and human begin their short, slushy walk to the bathroom.

“Wash under his scales too!”

“How are we supposed to do that?”   Carp calls back.

“Doesn't she have one of those puffy things on a stick?”

Carp looks at Tinkletoes.

“Improvise.”

“Oh yes.   My goodness.”   Diomedes exclaims as he stands under the shower. “This is most enjoyable.”  The dragon is stuffed into the tub.   His tail is running the length of the tub.  Its end is sticking out.  Carp is standing on the outside of the tub by the faucet.  Dobby is at the other end, both are soaking wet.

“I understand now why there is an entire room dedicated to this amazing invention.  I feel so much better.  So happy, relaxed.”  Diomedes says.

There is a faint sound, the bottom of the tub shakes briefly.   The odor that accompanies the trembling hits Dobby directly in the face.  The ginger tabby turns a little green.

“What is that smell?”  Diomedes asks.

“You.”  Dobby chokes out.

There is another gentle sound and a rumble along the tub's floor only this time Diomedes gets a whiff too.

“That is fragrant isn't it?”  Diomedes asks.

Dobby nods and turns his head away for some fresh air coughing a little.   Returning to his post he checks on Carp who appears to be oblivious to the entire incident.

“I am sorry sirs.  This is most embarrassing.”  Diomedes says.

“Let's get this done.”   Carp says holding up a mesh brush.

Dobby holds up a shower brush and nods.

“Oh my goodness.”  Diomedes says.

“You're angry.”  Tinkletoes says entering the kitchen.

“Angry, why would I be angry?”

“It is just a dry erase board.”   Tinkletoes says.

“It was my dry erase board.”  Writer Lady counters, setting bags of flour up on the counter.

“When the living room clean up is finished the board will be cleaned up too.”  He says stepping into her space. “It might even be like new.”

“Couldn't save it?”  Writer Lady asks taking in a breath.

“No.  It was trashed.  There' a new one waiting for you in High Command.”

“You didn't have TP fix it?”

“I was lucky to get him out of the hot tub.”

“How?”  Writer Lady asks not looking up from her work.

“That was the tricky part.”  Tinkletoes steps a little bit further into her space. “But I managed.”   Standing behind her, he leans in and whispers, “I took his birthday away.”

“That doesn't sound very nice.”

“Pixie One helped.  It's not as bad as it sounds.  Diomedes is showering and the living room is being cleaned up all that's left is to make the noodles.”  Tinkletoes gets even closer. “Tell me pretty lady, how can I help you?”

“By stepping back.”  Writer Lady says.  Her breath normalizes after he exits her space.

“You really don't like me do you?”

“You've grown on me.”  She admits turning to look at him.  “You can be obnoxious but you're there for me too.   You're okay Commander.  You're okay.  I also have to say that dragon poop stinks.  You're a little bit ripe.”

Tinkletoes looks down at his combat boots.  They are covered in muck.  His camouflage pants are coated too.   “I really should get cleaned up before spending time in the kitchen.  I'll be back.”  Tinkletoes says before turning around and leaving.  He slips on a patch of sludge, nearly kissing the floor on his way out.