Stranger Things Have Happened

“What?”   Dobby mouths back.

“I'm not ready.”  Tinkletoes mouths.

“You just said you were.”  The ginger tabby whispers.

Tinkletoes turns back to Writer Lady.  He dumps the remaining contents of a bag of flour into her mixing bowl and says, “Enough?”

Writer Lady nods.

“I'll be right back.   I've got to see a cat about a...about a...”  A silence grows as Tinkletoes struggles to finish his fabrication.  “A hairball.   I've got to see a cat about a hairball.  I'll be right back.”  He meets Dobby in the bonus room, the feline pounces.

“What's going on?  You asked Mom out.”   Dobby says.

“I'm not ready for this.”  Tinkletoes says.

“I told her how great you were.   I told her to give you a chance.  How can you not be ready?”  Dobby asks.

“I'm ready.   I'm just not ready to go out with her...you know...outside.”

Dobby looks around making sure no one is listening.

Seeing them talking from the kitchen, Dylan wanders over to the pair.   “Going out...to go outside, toss a ball around, enjoy the sunshine, peddle your papers, play football, roll down a hill with your best friend.”

Peter follows him into the room and picks up where his little brother leaves off.  “Tinkletoes is a grown-up going out is different for grown-ups little brother.  For Tinkletoes going out means coming out of the depths of his man cave and keeping company with a special friend or a potential mate.”

“Like a girl?”   Dylan asks his face scrunching up with disdain.  “Gross.”

“Writer Lady.”   Peter answers.

“She's a girl?”  Dylan asks.

“Yes.”  Peter responds.

“I only asked because she's so nice and girls are mean except for Aunt Purdy and Mom.”

“She's a girl too.”

Dylan looks at Tinkletoes.  “She's a nice girl.  It's okay to take her outside to play.   She won't hurt you.”

“That's nice little brother.”   Peter says.   “I don't think they need our help with this.  Let's get back to those noodles.  I bet we'll be done making them soon.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”  Peter answers.

“I want to see Diomedes eat them.  I think there are too many noodles even for him.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.   I think he'll eat all of those noodles and then throw up everywhere. Dragon vomit is gonna be so cool.”

“You'll be okay with cleaning up the mess then?”   Peter asks.

“Dragon vomit is gross.   I hope Diomedes doesn't get sick.”  Dylan announces.

“Me too little brother.   Me too.”  Peter says guiding Dylan back to the kitchen.

After the boys leave Dobby turns back to his friend.

“I don't have experience with this type of battle especially on foreign soil.”  Tinkletoes says.

  Dobby looks at Tinkletoes doubtfully.

“I haven't been on as many dates as you'd think.  None outside of town.  If this goes outside town I can't use any of my battle plans.  There will be outside variables influencing the outcome.  Things will be beyond my control.”

TP pops into the bonus room fluttering next to Tinkletoes.  “He thinks he's got control over things like people spend all of their time doing everything he says.   Silly human.”  The faerie giggles.

“I'm a big deal around here.   Once we have left home, she might not like me as much.   There are other men at a city con.  Men that might be more...” A silence fills the room. “impressive.   She's gonna meet some of those men, she's not gonna like me anymore.”

“She didn't like you that much to begin with.   Mom has not only agreed to go out with you but has also volunteered to meet you somewhere.   A new place.  You haven't even told her where it is yet so it isn't about the destination.  How many women have offered to do that for you?”

Tinkletoes grins and starts to answer.

“Women that know you well but aren't related to you.”   Dobby emphasizes.

Tinkletoes closes his mouth.   Something captures his attention.  “Smell that?” He asks.

The ginger tabby sniffs the air.   “What, that?”

Tinkletoes inhales more deeply and closes his eyes.  “Yeah.”

“That's Mom's chicken broth.   They must be getting ready to cook the noodles.”

“Now I'm hungry.”   Tinkletoes says.

“Mom will make sure everyone eats as soon as Diomedes does.”

“Let's get back in there and help.”  Tinkletoes says.

TP spins around and reappears in the garb of an impeccably groomed housewife complete with full skirted dress, heels, apron, and perfectly coiffed hair. “He's so sexy when he takes charge like that.”  He says breathlessly, pretending to swoon.

Dobby rolls his eyes before following Tinkletoes back into the kitchen.

“So what are we doing?”  Tinkletoes asks.

“According to Bugsy we have enough noodles made to coat Diomedes' digestive system.  Writer Lady answers gesturing to the piles of freshly cut noodles covering her kitchen counters.   “I have two large pots of broth going, as soon as they are boiling we're cooking,  Diomedes is eating, and hopefully keeping his food um...in.  Is it in or down?”

“Both if we're lucky.”  Tinkletoes answers.

“Mom, will what's in the noodles be enough medicine?”  Dobby asks.

“Diomedes and TP, before he so conveniently disappeared (Writer Lady looks at TP pointedly) House has been washing dishes for me thankyouverymuch, infused the broth with magic too.  Between the noodles and the broth there is enough magic to cure Diomedes, if it is going to work at all.  We just have to wait and see.”

“Did you find it?'  Writer Lady asks looking at Tinkletoes.

“Did I find what?”

“Your hairball?”

Tinkletoes looks at Dobby for help.   The ginger tabby shrugs.  “As it turns out, I didn't need one.”  He says.

“That's good?"  She stops, thinks about and says.  "That's good."  Shaking her head she moves on, "So where is this con you're going to?” Writer Lady asks as she watches her pots.

“In the city.   Big place.  Big, big, place.”

“There are lots of cities.  Several big ones, so which one is it?”  Writer Lady asks.

Tinkletoes says nothing.

Writer Lady looks at him and waits.

The liquid in both large pots are making a faint sizzling sound as bubbles develop increasing in number and then growing in size as the broth comes to a boil.   Tinkletoes looks at the stove as bubbles start making their way to the underside of the glass lid threatening to boil over.

“My broth.”  Writer Lady says crossing the kitchen to the stove.

“Help.”  Tinkletoes says looking at TP and Dobby.

“Just tell her where you're going.”   Dobby says.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“If I tell where it is she might show up on her own.”  Tinkletoes says.

“It's Mom.  She's pretty smart don't you think she can figure it out on her own?”

“I'm hoping she isn't interested in doing that much work.”

“So where is it?'  Writer Lady asks as she turns down the flames under each pot and adds noodles to the boiling broth.

Tinkletoes looks from TP to Dobby.   Both are holding up signs one reads “New York” and the other “Los Angeles.”

When Writer Lady turns to face Tinkletoes each sign disappears in a puff of smoke.

“New Angeles.”   Tinkletoes responds.

“New Angeles?”  Writer Lady repeats, raising an eyebrow.  “Where's that?”   She asks.

“In the middle.”  Seeing that he has her attention Tinkletoes continues his fabrication.  “Half-way between New York and Los Angeles.  It's gonna be the next great city.  It's new.”  Tinkletoes lowers his head and mutters,  “Really new.”

“Hence the name 'New Angeles'.”   Writer Lady says.

“Exactly.”
“It's in the middle between New York and Los Angeles.”  Writer Lady repeats.

Tinkletoes nods.

“So that would put the next great city in Kansas.  No.”   She says snapping her fingers.   “Nebraska.”   That's an odd place to put a new metropolis don't you think?”

“No?”

“So, um...what's in Nebraska?”  Writer Lady asks.

“Cows and stuff?”

“In a booming metropolitan city?”

“Cows make good alternative transportation.” Tinkletoes says.

“Dinner To Go.” TP says giggling.
"On The Hoof."  Ray adds.
"As Fresh As It Gets."  Dobby chimes in.
"Oh my goodness."  Diomedes says.
"If any Nebraskans get offended, you are my witness Diomedes, it wasn't me."  Writer Lady says stirring noodles.
"Of course Mi'lady."
"I don't know where they get this stuff."
"Certainly not from you Mi'lady."
"Most certainly not."