Pursuing The Bear

Writer Lady looks at what she is wearing.   “What's wrong with my clothes?”   She asks.

“Jeans and a t-shirt.”  Carp says making a face.

“It's 25 degrees outside.  You're lucky I'm not wearing a parka.”

“The kind with a hood?  Because I hate to tell you sweetie but your hair looks awful.   How do you feel about hats?”

“I don't like them.”

“I always say that hats are like books if you don't like them then you haven't found the right one.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp.

“Where are your shopping hormones?  Do you have them in sleep mode?  Repeat after me, 'Looking pretty is fun'.”  Carp says.

“Your mama dresses you funny.”   Writer Lady responds.

“At least I'm out of my bathrobe between the hours of 10 and 9.”

Writer Lady rolls her eyes.  She turns and looks at the door.  “Is that Monitor Man walking by?”   She asks.

Carp sharply turns to face the entry door and peeks out.  High pitched giggling commences, Carp looks down to find two pixies hovering near the base of the door.

“Cookies?”  A pixie asks.  “Every other dollar helps fund the Tinkletoes/Monitor Man Presidential campaign.

“No thank you.”   Carp says closing the door.  “Pixies.”  He mutters.  “Tinkletoes is still running for President with Monitor Man.  We need some red, white, and blue.”   Carp looks at Writer Lady.  His gaze wanders the length of High Command's walls stopping at a picture taken of Writer Lady with The Lady with the Long Golden Hair during their trip to the Land of the Rising Bird.  “I can get you out of here in two shakes to see Monitor Man and we don't have to go shopping.”

“What's the catch?”  Writer Lady asks.

“No catch.”  He says.   “Not yet anyway.   Do you have a push up bra?”

“I might.”  Writer Lady answers.

A few minutes and a lot of arguing later...

“I don't like this.  This is a bad idea.”  Writer Lady says.  She is standing in front of a full length mirror in her British flag dress.

“You look fantastic.”  Carp says putting the finishing touches on her hair.

“It's freezing outside.  I'm freezing.”

“I know your skin is a little bumpy but it's doing wonders for your cleavage.  You're wearing red, white and blue perfect for a political campaign.”

“It's a British flag dress!”  Writer Lady points out.

“It is an inspiration.  It reminds Monitor Man of what can be overcome with focus and a little bit of hard work.”

Writer Lady glares at Carp and growls.

“Okay a lot of hard work.”

Writer Lady shakes her head.  “This is ridiculous.  Monitor Man cannot possibly be here for me and what about Tinkletoes?”

“What about Tinkletoes?”  Carp asks.

“We have a date to go out on a date.”

“As my grandmother used to say, 'You snooze you lose'.”

“That's not very nice.”  Writer Lady says.

“Neither are the tumble weeds rolling through the desert trail that is your love life.”

Writer Lady begins to protest.

Carp reaches out and takes both of her hands in his, he looks into her eyes and says, “Sometimes things aren't just about you.  This is about Monitor Man.   This is about all of those women out there that have loved their own Monitor Man. You have a chance that all of us...them would give anything for.  To take the delicious man of their dreams in their arms, put their lips to his, open their mouths and kiss him so deeply, so fully he feels like...well he is very satis...happy when the kiss is over.   You have a chance to claim that unreachable man and if you don't you are condemning us all to empty lives and unfulfilled dreams.  Forever.”

“You aren't expecting much are you?”   Writer Lady asks.   “I'm not sure I can do this.”

“It's easy, just make sure that when you're done it's hard for him to stand up.” Carp says.

Writer Lady begins her long walk into the kitchen feeling naked in more ways than one.  She turns towards the bedroom only to be stopped by Carp.

“Nah uh uh.  Where are you going?”  He asks.

“Sweater.”

Carp turns her back towards the living room.   They continue their journey.

“Not even a sweater.”  Writer Lady grumbles.

“You're on a mission sweetie, soldier on.”  Carp says pushing her into the kitchen and directly for Monitor Man.

She stumbles over her feet trying to avoid all of the pixies.  Writer Lady shifts her weight from one foot to the next as she avoids creating pixie destruction/carnage with every step.

“Oh my gosh.”  Writer Lady says as she stops at the refrigerator.   “Did I step on something?  I feel like I stepped on something.”   She says looking around the floor.

“It's okay Mom.”  Dobby says.  “You didn't step on anything.  Wait a minute...” The ginger tabby slides something along the floor.   “You killed a food dish.”

“Is that all?   Thank goodness for that.”   She says looking where Dobby is pointing.  “I have to be careful I don't want to spill any water.  Ooops...” Writer Lady slips.

Monitor Man reaches out and catches her, holding her steady.   “Whoa...it's okay I've got you.”  He says smiling.

Writer Lady's eyes grow large, she looks across the room at Carp who grins and gives her the 'Okay'.

Tinkletoes' growl starts low and gradually grows louder.  The growling noise keeps growing as do Carp's gestures.  It starts with pronounced puckering and quickly grows to waving arms, Carp holding a couch cushion to his face and kissing it passionately.

A pixie's voice can be heard over the crowd.  “Writer Lady and Monitor Man are a couple.”   Flashes start going off throughout the room.

Another voice calls “We need a picture.  How about a kiss?”
(Yep it was Carp)

Several pixies squeal and others continue encouraging.

Tinkletoes' growling continues his face growing red.  He begins to lean in closer to Monitor Man and Writer Lady.

   There is a cracking noise and everything goes dark.