Saturday, July 22, 2017

An Actor, A Self-Proclaimed Mercenary and A Pirate Walk Into A Sand Bar


Monitor Man crosses to Writer Lady. He gently takes her by the arm and guides her away from the group.
“He’s right.”
She makes a face.
“I know.” Monitor Man looks into Writer Lady’s eyes and says, “Would you please return home with everyone else and look after things, as a favor, to me?”
Writer Lady glares at Tinkletoes and says, “He’s a pig.”
“He’s acting like one,” Monitor Man looks in Tinkletoes’ direction,“but I think that there’s a reason for it. I’m not sure what it is. I hope there’s a reason for it.” He turns his gaze back to Writer Lady and leans in to whisper, “Will you do it? For me?”
Writer Lady thinks for a moment, her eyes light up, and a smile crosses her lips disappearing nearly as quickly as it appeared. “Okay. Everyone is tired.” She sighs. “I’ll do it for you.” She addresses the entire group, “Okay everyone, let’s find the road. It’s time to go home.”
Smudge Mal and Spots Wash both start wiggling in protest.
“I want to do guy things.” Spots Wash says.
“I want to play with a big ass sword.” Smudge Mal announces.
“Smudge Mal!” Writer Lady exclaims. “You’re supposed to be the good one.”
“Sor—ry.”
“You shouldn’t impose those kinds of expectations on him Mom.” Dobby says. “It can be frustrating.”
“Yeah!” TP giggles, appearing next to Smudge Mal’s bright pink nose. “It’s bad for his self-esteem!” The faerie giggles as he hides his smile.
“Where have you been?”
“Busy.” TP says.
“We’ve been lost in Faerie all this time, knowing nothing about the place, tired, hungry, and all you can say is “busy?”
TP spins around, changing into a zoot suit complete with hat and watch chain. “It’s Faerie lady, if you want something then all you gotta do is ask.” He says in his tough guy accent as he flips a coin.
“I knew that.” Carp announces.
Writer Lady’s glare shifts from TP to Carp. “That would have been a handy little piece of information to have wouldn't it?”
Carp pales slightly and looks away.
The unlikely trio watch as Writer Lady, Carp, Blackbuck the Antelope, three cats, two unicorns, and a faerie find their way back into the rainforest.
Tinkletoes leans over and whispers to Monitor Man, “When we take off for wherever it is we’re going, keep an eye out for Writer Lady. That look she gave you earlier, when she was bein’ all agreeable? I’ve seen it before.”
“She has a few tricks up her sleeves, does she?” Pirate asks.
“She’ll surprise ya.”

“This isn’t so bad.” Tinkletoes says as he enters The Sand Bar.
Pirate’s boots slosh as he follows Tinkletoes in response. The privateer does not look happy.
“I thought you’d be happy.” Tinkletoes says. “You’re a pirate, this is the ocean.”
“He probably would be if you’d let us stop long enough to empty the desert sand from our boots before we entered the water.”
“It’s all the same, it’s sand. It was only few inches of water. Quit yer whining. You’re actin’ like a couple of girls.” Tinkletoes looks around the darkened room. The self-proclaimed mercenary can make out the shapes of the tables and chairs, the silhouettes of the patrons as they moved but nothing more. Monitor Man and Pirate follow stopping on either side of him. All three look around as they search for their contact. They all hear the lining up of glasses on the bar, the clinking of bottles as they are set down at the same time.
It looks like the bartender is over there.” Tinkletoes says, gesturing with a nod of his head.
A light slowly brightens, illuminating the bartender and the bar as well. A man stands at the bar slowing pouring sand into tall, narrow glasses. He is a tall man, nearly as tall as Tinkletoes and nicely muscled. He has pale skin, small warm brown eyes, and protruding teeth that are offset by a deep glowing green mustache, and closely trimmed goatee. His hair is bright blue. The color of the water the men had just walked through with rainbow colored highlights spread throughout. He’s wearing a t-shirt that says, “Sandman” and a name tag that says, “Paulie.”
You Paulie?” Tinkletoes calls as they approach the bar.
Yeah. Who wants to know?” He asks as he slides the glasses that he has just filled down the bar into the unknown. The abrupt end of the sound of glass sliding along the bar’s surface the only indication that there is anyone in the darkness to receive it.
We do.” Monitor Man says. “We went to The Oasis and there was a sign that said it was closed for maintenance if anyone needed further assistance to come to The Sand Bar and ask for Paulie.”
Paulie wipes off the bar and pulls out a small basket of snack crackers. He starts eating them. “What is it that you need exactly?” He asks between bites.
We were hoping to gain access to The Oasis for a few minutes.” Monitor Man answers.
Looking for something?”
Monitor Man looks at Tinkletoes and then answers. “This is Faerie. It’s my first trip. I heard that The Oasis is where Faerie’s magical core resides.” Monitor Man smiles, turning up the charm a notch or two. “I was hoping to see some magic.”
Magic? This is Faerie. You’re surrounded by magic.”
Monitor Man is not getting very far, Pirate looks around the bar searching for another source of information. His gaze stops by a door in a far corner. He studies the bouncer. The bouncer studies him. They nod at each other. Pirate’s lips turn up in a brief smile. The bouncer grins showing his massive teeth. Pirate turns back and faces the bar, he reaches out and places a hand on Monitor Man’s shoulder giving him a signal to stop talking.
Of course he is.” Pirate agrees. “Thank you. We’ll be going now. This way gentlemen.” The privateer says as he leads Tinkletoes and Monitor Man into a storage room and a meeting with a sand shark.

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