The Stages Of Not
Dating And How To Explain It To Family And Friends
By
Tessa TrueBlue
(Brad’s first note
read) Title Too Long
When one has not dated for a while, parties and family gatherings can become quite uncomfortable. A regular day at the office can feel more like a dating site interview than a job.
(Brad’s other note
stated) Story too detached. Make more personal.
Tessa looked at the
lines running through her copy and sighed. She looked at the clock.
“He didn’t
like it.” Tessa’s co-worker, Charity commented. “It’s nearly
two. You’d better get cracking if you want to make tomorrow’s
edition.”
“I wrote this
piece the same way that I write everything. It’s my style.”
Charity shook her
head. “Not this time lil’ sis.” Charity pointed to Brad’s
comment. “Make it more personal.”
“Why would he
hire me to work the city desk and then turn around and have me write
a personal
interest piece?”
Jed, one of the
sports reporters, heard her and stopped to put his two cents in.
“Relax.” He said with a smile. “The boss is just testing you
out, seeing how flexible you are. You know, finding out if he can
count on you to fill in on a different story if there’s a gap, that
sort of thing.” Jed continues his trek to the break room.
“Don’t worry
Tessa. The boss has everyone do at least one piece like this.”
Charity reassured Tessa. “It’s important that he get as much
information as he can regarding the new people.”
Jed reemerged from
the break room just in time to nod in agreement.
“Besides this
article is a great way for him to decide what his chances are with
you.”
Tessa’s mouth
went dry and she paled.
Jed laughed and
looked at Tessa. “Not true. She’s kidding. Charity says that to
all the newbies.”
“Remember that
guy last summer?” She asked Jed.
“He sat across
from me.” Jed recounted. “He heard the same thing from someone. I
don’t know who. The next day, Brad told him to go and cover the
bridal show. I remember watching him sitting at his desk, he lowered his head. Then he muttered for
a bit, quietly wrote “I quit” in his notebook, set his pen down
on top of it, stood up, and walked out.”
“He never even
called in for his paycheck did he?” Charity asked.
“I don’t
believe that he did.”
“I have never
even written a personal essay.” Tessa announced. “I don’t know
if I can do this.” Tessa felt the silence spread. She knew
instantly that she had done it again. She had shared too much. Been
too honest. This is going to be like The Expulsion all over again, she thought.
Jed looked at
Charity, mouthed the word ‘Oops’ and quietly returned to his
seat.
“It’s not that
bad really. I’ll help you. There are some great benefits to working
here.” Charity says. “For instance, did you know that you can
work from home?”
Tessa shook her
head.
“You can. Your
friend Charity is going to buy you some time. Watch and learn, that way you
can help the next newbie.”
Tessa nodded.
Charity lifted her
head and yelled across the newsroom. “Brad! Tessa’s got the black
plague! She’s gonna work from home!”
“She looked okay
this morning!” He yelled back.
“She came home
from vacation right before she started here.”
“She didn’t
leave the country did she?” He called.
Charity looked at
Tessa.
“I went home to
see my folks.”
“Where are you
from?” Charity asked.
Tessa paled and
chose ambiguity, knowing that she could not begin to explain her
homeland to any full blooded human. “Not from around here.”
“Why does anyone
take a vacation? So they can leave the country!” Charity nudged her
with an elbow. “Cough” she mouthed.
Tessa coughed.
“More, harder.”
Tessa coughed more,
her face reddened at the effort.
“Yeah. Okay. Send
her home.” Brad yelled. “Make sure she has the link to upload her
story when it’s done.”
“Okay.”
Charity looked back
at Tessa. “Okay you’re out of here until tomorrow. Pack up the
laptop, go home, get comfortable, and put in your two cents about
being a single lady in 2018. It needs to be uploaded by one a.m. and
that’s a ‘my internet went down and there was a city wide black
out excuse,’ keep in mind that people will look at you with
disapproval until someone else screws up if you do get your story in
that late.” Charity grabbed a sheet off of Tessa’s notepad and
scribbled the needed link down. “If you aren’t uploaded by 11 pm
call me. I’ll make sure you get the story in on time. Give me your
phone.” She tapped quickly on the keys. “I’m listed in your
phone. Now go.”
Tessa nodded.
“Thank you.” She said as she left the newsroom, attempting to
look appropriately unhealthy. She coughed a couple more times on her
way out the door.
“Isn’t she out
of here yet?” Brad called. “Someone get that desk disinfected.
Now!”
Tessa sat down on
the couch with her laptop after a quick shower. She looked at the
screen. The cursor blinked on and off, encouraging her, urging her
forward into her article. Eventually, taunting her.
Maybe I’ll do
some stream of consciousness brainstorming to start.
Single
Not
married
Not
dating
Alone
Tired
Happy
Only
watching movies that you want to on a Friday night
No
one to argue with
No
one to listen to
No
one to snuggle
No
one to cuddle on cold nights
No
dirty stuff laying around everywhere
No
one to cook for
No
one to be nice to
No
one to love
Her
phone buzzed as she wrote. It was from Charity.
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